Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
Why is it the ones we give our whole heart to hurt us the most. I am a nurse and always feel the need to care for people. My x-bf said he was a recoving addict. He was living with family and needed a place to stay. I opened my home to him and his daughter. I have 3 daughters. They were like sisters. He said he was going to help with bills and rent. Never saw a dime. Started to notice things missing but I just assumed the kids were taking things to their dads house. My wedding rings went missing... The it all hit the fan. He was suppoprting his habit with my belonging. Stole from me and my girls. Left me to care for his daughter. Needless to say he is doing his recovering in jail. Sick part is I still love him and miss him so much. Why ? What is it about them that we feel we need them to survive. Why r we addicted to them? I thought I was happily married until I connected on an emotional level with this man. Was it really love or just my need to feel needed and important. My husband wants to work on things. He loves me to death, but I just dont look at him the same as the other guy. I dont get butterflies and melt.Being romantic and intimate is painful. What is wrong with me. Why do I feel more comfortable and relate better with someone who has a shit ton of drama in their life. Why do I have deep feelings for someone that stole from me and hurt me so bad? I have depression also but is this really necessary to add to the pain?? What is wrong with me.
My ex-wife slept with my first cousin. The only family I have. I divorced her and three years later I still love her, why? I'm Codep.
We need to learn to control our Codependency, not let it control us. If you are new to this condition, read Codependent, No More, by Melodie Beatty. Nothing has changed my life and opened my eyes as to why my social skills were so poor as reading that book. It's a safe bet that any of the regulars here will tell you the same.
What's wrong with you? Nothing that can't be corrected!!!!! That's the important thing to realize. The next is realizing that it negatively affects your life and that you want to change it.
If you do nothing else, pick up that book. You will think you are reading your own autobiography with the anecdotal stories she tells.
The worst thing about being Codep and why it's so sinister is that the condition isn't caused by a chemical imbalance or chemical dependency. There is no medicine to take to control it and it's not as "easy" as never drinking or drugging again. Our main challenge goes against our nature and personality....to set boundaries.
It's a complete lifestyle change, from the bottom up.