You know, I'm going through the same things that you are. Most social situations scare me. I can talk to someone about work-related things, etc. but when it comes to opening up to someone and having a conversation with them, I panic. I find any and every reason to avoid these types of situations because I usually end up saying something awkward or just generally making the situation awkward. I also find it hard to like myself. Sometimes I feel like I do, but then I realize that I don't. I really connected with this post when you spoke of the scared little girl inside of you. When someone insults me, tries to argue with me, etc. that scared little girl inside me comes out and I freeze. I panic and don't know how to defend myself. I want to run and cry, and only then do I think of retorts to the situation that I ran from. I've been wondering for years how to make that little girl go away, and I still don't know. I'm just a bit relieved that you know what it's like to deal with these things. Have you dealt with ridicule from others who don't understand you or why you are the way that you are (i.e. social anxiety)? That is something I am currently dealing with from people at work, including my boss, and it's stressful every single day.
Talk therapy and group therapy help with these things though. I've been going to therapy for about two months now and I've noticed a tiny bit of progress. And journaling helps too :)

the thing to me is that we cant -make her go away. reading the book -self compassion helped me so much. people have tried to push us into getting rid of that part of us. my family in particular and then men that I have had relationships with. I am not saying that this part of us should rule the roost. what a mess that would be!! just telling myself that I will take care of her. will protect and acknowledge her concerns and fears.

I hadn't thought of it that way, as in not trying to get rid of her but rather take care of her. I may just have to look into that book....I need all the help I can get!

has made a great experience for me to embrace that part of me that I tried to get rid of for years to be accepted by those that wanted to me just go with the flow! really wow denial is so difficult and harmful. if others don't like your feelings don't share them with those but others that understand

How exactly did you begin to embrace that part of you and not let it rule who you are? I'm very curious about this!

stopped pushing her away and after reading self compassion I realized that I could do that. I actually tell her that I will take care of her and it will be ok and that I understand her fears and confusion and that helps me a lot. it is feelings left over from childhood and bad things that happed to me as an adult and accepting those feelings as part of me and that it is ok to feel my sorrow, regret, guilt, and bad decisions that I made that affected not only me but many others that I love

Childhood trauma and challenges can often affect our self-esteem and our co-dependent behaviors as adults. I have been both the addict and a codependent in my relationships.

I think one of the biggest wake-up calls I received was the necessity of me to focus on changing only me. When I was drinking, I was trying to erase the world. When I was being codependent, I was trying to change her. When I chose to focus on reality and on myself, my life began to change. I worked day-by-day to improve my thoughts, my health, and my social abilities. I did not forget about my significant other, but I chose to improve me and to lead by inspiration instead of force.

There were childhood traumas that I had buried so deeply that were affecting my self-esteem, that it took serious probing in a group session at a treatment center to bring them to the surface and help me release them. It was not a fun day, but it was one of the most powerful sessions I ever had.

That all makes a lot of sense. I will try feeling that way as well, and hopefully I can learn to accept this part about me.

I've suffered from low self esteem during my lifetime too and it took some inner searching to finally rid myself of that monkey on my back.

If you are interested there's a Kindle ebook called

Self Esteem For Women by Sophie James that has helped a number of people.

You are special and lovable, try to remember that.