I am so sorry for your loss, sassy and also for the hard time you are going through now. Do you think maybe you are still pinning some of your self-worth on how your sister (and the others) are treating you? That is usually what gets me to that resentful space. Try to remind yourself that their treatment of you and the fact that they brush you and what is important to you aside says more about them than it does about you. And it sounds to me like the only way you will be accepted into that 'household' is if you go along with the dysfunction, so really, your place, with your own company, is probably a much more pleasant place for you to hang out than your sister's house. The grass often looks greener on the other side but it can also be pretty darn bitter when you get a decent taste of it.

Maybe there is still a part of you that believes what they say and think? Dig deep, remember that their opinions are tarnished with their dysfunction, they can believe whatever they want to believe but it doesn't make it true. It is hard to have someone thinking bad things about us but we need to remind ourselves of the truth from where we stand and not just automatically take other people's opinions as gospel without considering for ourselves. You know the truth from where you stand and you can try as hard as you like, and for as long as you like, to get her to see things your way but she probably never will. And you don't need her to. You can still be ok without her seeing things the way you do.

One of the things that I have learnt at Al-anon is that it is ok to reach out for support at times like this, when we are feeling low. Reach out to someone you trust, go to a meeting, call a friend- do something that helps you feel supported by others, even if your family isn't supportive. Just because we don't get love and support from our families doesn't mean we can't get it from other, more emotionally healthy, people around us.

Big hug to you and take care.

IMHO, she repeats herself because she's a drunk. Can you not talk to her? Alcoholics lie too. She sounds toxic. You don't need to hear her abuse. Personally I can't stand to talk to someone who is like this. You don't have to either. I don't think she is a truth teller. Definitely not someone to be taken seriously. As for the rest of your family, birds of a feather flock together. I'm sorry if this sounds blunt, but no one has the right to abuse you. I can feel resentful and thrown off by talking to people abusing alcohol. What we hear affects us.LeafOnThe... is 100 percent correct when she says what others do says all we need to know about them and nothing about us. I hope you feel better soon.

I agree. It says more about them than you. People who know you know you are a great person with a lot to offer. Don't let them take that away from you. And now that your sister has passed, you don't need to be involved in their lives anymore. Let them terrorise some other family member. Give yourself some peace of mind. Put some distance between them and you. It has worked for me, and I feel so much better for it. Remember: "what someone things of you is none of your business."