I'm in the same boat. I wasted 20 years of my life using cocaine. Went to prison for 6 years for holding up liquor stores to support my drug habit. Now I'm out and have started smoking meth. I make myself sick.

It's like you can't control the pull to use. I can tell myself no all day long and when it hits me I'm like a robot following orders.

I'm bouncing around through posts and comments out of sheer boredom.

I never had a drug problem or did any type of drugs.... except cigarettes.
Though I've done a lot of counselling to Vets. Many homeless Vets. Working to find them shelters, a home, food etc. And often trying to get them off drugs. Sometimes off the drugs that the VA hospital got them hooked on to begin with.

Have you ever noticed that BOREDOM plays a huge role in addiction? It doesn't matter what the addiction is, drugs, pot, cigarettes, booze, sex whatever.

Your mind wanders.... You start thinking about what makes you "feel" good. Especially RIGHT NOW.

A lot of what people need, is something to do. Even smokers, they basically can smoke most anytime. Yet, when they are busy doing something, they don't think about it really.

If you guys could fill more of that down time, or alone time or boredom. You might be able to get away from the need to use drugs.

Finding or creating a hobby could be a HUGE help. Something that takes up more of your time. Something you really enjoy doing and you look forward to doing it.

For me, I like to prospect, metal detect and look for old bottles that are around 100 years old.

As a prospector, I enjoy collecting rocks. I'm thinking about joining the local Rock and Gem club. They have weekend outings to some great sites.
I enjoy reading about all these things too. So, that also takes up my time.

Find things you like in life, and let that help to fill the void you have for the bad addictions.

Thanks, Seamus,
You have a good idea. But I think it is a chemical thing. I garden, play guitar, work out, ride my motorcycle. But when "it" hits me, I can't stop myself.
I've scheduled myself for down time during the day so I have more strength to resist. But every 2 or 3 days, BANG!

Non of us can beat this alone thats why we are still in the same position as years ago. U r strong!! Even just asking for help makes u strong xxx

hey i'm not sure if your still using this site - its use to be more used and i'm grateful for the people who replied to my posts which sounded really similar to this post. I didnt think i had a big problem but I had no self control, i use to feel like I just needed to try harder. But whatever I did I would end up using again and again. 3 or 4 days would be a big achievement. Today i'm 5 and half years clean after 3 relapses over the past 10 years ...each relapse i thought that was it there was no coming back I had given up. Personal I went to a 12 step fellowship and worked the steps ...still do. dont always want to but its the only thing that has given me any quality of life. i'm always happy to speak to anyone who wants help feel free to message me

I'm new here but don't think even this will help I don't have enough space to explain what a complete fuck up my life is and I need someone to talk to who has been there cause no one else understands and I feel patronized and worse

I joined in part because I saw your post. I completely understand where you are coming from, I accessed online help the last time I straightened out to help cope with the cravings and give me an outlet just in case that particular day I had a teaspoon of willpower, it helped. I like the anonymity and it gives you an opportunity to get everything you are feeling out there which is helpful. Besides all that, its damn near impossible to find a sponsor in a small town. What are you thoughts in regards to your situation? Is this something you recognize as hampering your life or are there other factors? One thing to think about when using these types of resources is when you vent to a stranger, they dont have the same emotional investment/ personal agendas per say other than wishing you well and allowing you to tell it like it is. Ive always found the people closest to me are so fixated on what it is that THEY WANT, theres no room for what I need to help me get well. Is it like that for you? Obviously they all want me to get well so that they can get on with their own lives, ignore me and pat themselves on the back. No Im not kidding, it really is like that more often than not. Now I could certainly understand all that if Id been leaning on them for money or owed them something, but sadly thats not the case. So heres a little about me: I didnt do drugs until I was about 37. I did a couple years fell in love quit 'cause I was happy and didnt need the chemical help along the way. Then the day my doc took my benzos (I suffer from severe depression, anxiety (have been hospitalized) and PTSD..anyways I started right back up, getting worse as time went on now Ive stopped, its been a month. I crave like nothing else and I think its because of the phent in it. Also bored as fk. No, really bored- thats almost worse. I started exercising and my size 2's are getting tight. Enough of my blather, Id sure like to listen to anyone elses madness for awhile

I just started here... I can be here for you & when I am about... I also got heroin on my list, been clean 2 weeks crack, 12 weeks heroin... they all want come bite you again (the drugs & other users who you assist in being an addict too) & it's scary lonely painful hard place... message me if you want & I will do what I can x I got fuck load madness you could listen to if you want ..might make you feel better... message me & see if it helps...xxxx

I'm coming back here! It's gotten worse. it's consuming me. I feel like I'm trying to climb a ladder out of the hole but I'm buried about 2 feet below the first rung.
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It's consuming me too. Idk what to do either and it feels like everyday gets worse

New update. Getting worse. I may have to tell my kids I need help