2 Cold Street
North Pole, Canada
OHO OHO



I Have Been Watching You Very Closely To See If You Have Been

Good This Year, And Since You Have I Will Be Telling My Elves

Some Goodies For Me To Leave Under Your Tree At Christmas.




I Was Going To Bring You All The Gifts From, ' The Twelve Days

Of Christmas, ' But We Had A Little Problem Up Here.




The Twelve Fiddlers Fiddling, Have All Come Down With, ' VD '

From Fiddling With The Ten Ladies Dancing.




The Eleven Lords A Leaping Have Knocked Up The Eight Maids A

Milking And The Nine Pipers Playing Have Been Arrested For Doing

Weird Things To The Seven Swans A Swimming.




The Six Geese A Laying, Four Calling Birds, Three French Hens, Two

Turtle Doves, And A Partridge In A Pear Tree, Have Me Up To My Butt

In Bird Crap.




On Top Of All This Mrs. Claus Is Going Through Menopause, Eight Of

The Reindeer Are In Heat, And Those Dumbass Newfoundlanders Have

Re-scheduled Christmas For The 5th Of February.






Sincerely,

Santa