I think everyone gets a little nervous with face-to-face contact, which is why texting, Facebook and Twitter have become so popular lol. I was really shy growing up and I hated face to face conversations, especially with people I barely knew. In high school, I started working in retail, which requires A LOT of face time with total strangers. It helped me get over my anxiety and made me more confident because I couldn't worry about what people thought of my face. In order to gain my customers' trust and make good sales, I had to present myself as a confident sales associate. I realized that not everyone focused on my face or passed judgements on me because of how I looked. And the people who did treat me like a "freak" noticed that I was a great sales person compared to some of the other associates and they would then change their attitude toward me in exchange for my assistance. Knowing that people weren't always so judgemental definitely made me feel more confident and taught me to keep an open mind when having conversations with others.

People are always telling me how funny I am, which I guess makes them feel more comfortable around me. I use humor to break the ice with people because it gives them a glimpse of my personality and will hopefully allow them to look past my physical appearance. I guess I use humor to cope with my paranoia because it puts everyone at ease. I still get defensive and bitchy from time to time, but I really don't think it's a such a bad thing.

LittleRed just described how it actually goes. Being humorous person protects you and breaks the ice between you and the others. It is just sad that this is the best approach on things, because if you really are quiet and non-humorous person, it is harder to attract people or you have to work a lot to improve your personality or outside presentation . As you know beautiful faces would be the best way to get people near you. Unfortunately this is not what many of us can use :( unless you really are very beautiful.

I myself have admitted the fact to myself....I am not that handsome compared to what I would have been without the cleft. This is a tough thing when you are young and need to start your life and make the foundation for your future. What to do with it: just find your ways to be. Who could you blame: poor luck, your parents, God? How would it help or change things, just cause more misery around. Also always keep in mind that do not blame cleft for everything. It is a psychological procedure that people will blame everything bad on that. But it is not true. People sometimes face difficulties in every area of life, they are not all related to one's appearance.

Heads up guys and girls on this forum! There is a lot we can do and we will.

love this postive sh** lol

I think people much more notice my left eye is blue and hazel. Medterm heterochromia iridis than anything else. OTOH mayb3e just because they never commented doesn't mean its unnoticed.