Hello, all. My name is Tanner, and I'm 21 years old. I was born with a full bilaterall cleft lip and palate. I don't really understand a lot about my condition. The only surgery i really remember having on my palate was about 10 years ago when i was 10/11. My lip has never been normal and my nose feels crooked and big and aysmetrical. My right ear drum has always been perforated and my left one has always had a tube in it.  I still actually have a small hole in my palate that connects to my left nostril. Air sometimes squeaks out of it when i use a straw and if i want to i can squeeze liquid through it. I guess I just wanna talk to someone else like me. I feel like everyone else with a cleft is just more normal than I am. I don't know if anyone else still has these at my age. Everything i read about it says they get their lip/palate completely corrected at a very young age. Right now, I am strongly considering getting surgery to fix my lip/nose/palate, but its very very had to make this decision. It's also really hard to talk to my parents about because I don't want to make them feel like I'm unhappy if its because of a decision they made. I consider it part of my identity, and i definitely wouldn't be who I am today if i didn't have it, but I've been very depressed lately and don't know who I can talk to that will understand, because everyone i've tried to talk to about this just doesnt grasp it in the slightest and it's really frustrating.