I am a 62 year old, wife, mother and grandmother. I went 19 years with no surgeries or treatments. In college I had wonderful friends and mentors who helped me learn to accept myself and be the sort of person that other people wanted to be around. Most of all I learned to have confidence in myself. I spent the first 19 years of my life looking down. When I picked up my head and decided I was just as good as anyone else, my life totally changed. Many surgeries and therapies later I got it together and started getting asked out on dates. I married a wonderful man who actually admired all I had been through and even went through a few last surgeries, with me. I think believing in me is what changed everything. I became a story teller and despite my speech not being as good as some people, I learned I could make people laugh. I changed my major to Public Speaking in college to help me get over my fears of talking to people. Anyhow, I believe having respect for ourselves and believing in ourselves helps others enjoy being around us and wanting to be our friends. I also learned that people like to talk about themselves and what they are interested in. I learned to ask people to talk about themselves and show interest in what they liked and their knowledge of things. I hope this helps a little. I believe there is someone for each of us. Respect yourself and be true to yourself and others will be drawn to that, and you. :)

That is a touching feeling when I read it. What you wrote may me feel like I want it to cry, it hurt yeah so much. I am not done with my cleft surgeries yet but I am close to the end. I will write about my cleft lip/palate on the new one. Thanks for your word it touch me with great feeling.

When I was in first grade to 12 grade I didn't have a lot of friends but a few. I did got beat up by other kids which I was dumb not knowing why. At the time when I been to college I found many good friends but I was still missing something. That was me as a childhood having no great life in the world. I have no life( no meaning of living)!! It also like I have great friends but I feel lost because I don't connect to them well. I try but I am different from them. I guess time to time I do put myself down just because I am alone which I am the only one who have the cleft as I know. I am trying hard to believe in myself.

Your story is very touching. You should be happy with your body and appearance. Having a cleft lip doesn't affect the quality of person you are. Always do the right thing, think of others, and be generous.

That being said, every one finds insecurities in themselves. There are cosmetic surgeries that can help you overcome those insecurities. The dental field is advancing quickly and many cleft lip reconstructive surgeries have been done with much success. Talk to your local dentist about your options.

Only result to surgeries as a last resort. Remember every individual is beautiful and has something to offer in this world.

There is no magic cure, no making it all go away forever. There are only small steps upward; an easier day, an unexpected laugh, a mirror that doesn't matter anymore.

http://social.kaptest.com/competition/657/one-million-smiles#pic903

Considering I'm on the verge of reconnecting with my exwife. Trust me your gonna be ok. I know it can be hard to fathom that sometimes someone will be able to see you. Thru your eyes and self viewed faults they will see the soul underneath & fall madly in love with you.

Trust me your gonna be ok. =)

We have all had issues with this - all of us have had doubt and those self-conscious feelings that revolved around other people being attracted or repulsed by us. I still have issues though I know I have the worst of those insecurities behind me. I know it is so much easier said than done but you really just have to be strong and patient. Focus on the things you are good at, your strengths. You also might want to consider that you are being hard on yourself and give others some credit. A lot of people never knew I had a facial birth defect until the topic came along in conversation. Just because you see it doesn't mean they will. Don't let it rule your life! The right person will come along. The older you get, the stronger you get, the more you will learn about yourself. By the time that right person might come along, you will know exactly what you want anyway. Stay strong!

Like so many others here have said just b patient w urself and accept urself. Love urself. I know in a world where appearance for a woman is considered paramount it's easier said than done but never mind those people. To me those kind of people r one dimensional and small-minded. If u do these things the right people will come into ur life and as far as soulmates, there r so many different kinds. U will find someone but for me, once I accepted myself I realized it was not as important to me as I thought. Like the first person who replied here said just believe in urself and don't give up on ur dreams.

Thx guys, I don't know what to say now. There so much going on now which I am trying to hard or to small. I doing my best.

I am talking to few of the gurls that I am interesting but it is getting harder to get to know them when they don't reply back. Maybe I am not a manly to the gurls I been chatting with.