Cleft Lip / Palate Support Group
Cleft is a congenital deformity caused by a failure in facial development during gestation. It can be treated with surgery shortly after birth with highly successful results. Cleft occurs in somewhere between one in 600 and one in 800 births. Cleft occurs in several severities and is divided in two major categories: cleft lip and cleft palate.
Hey loves,
I'm new to the daily strength forum but not new to living with bilateral CL/CP. Lately, I have been struggling to cope and feel beautiful. I find myself holding onto years of agonizing memories and anger from countless surgeries and bullying. After reading your posts, I was immediately comforted to know that I am not alone. Some of the posts are word-for-word my exact thoughts and feelings.
I am struggling to feel worthy, understood, accepted, loved, and confident. I am lashing out at the people I love the most because I don't know how to control my emotions. I've been noticing my anxiety rising when I feel out of place in social situations. I am constantly questioning how I am being perceived... if people are judging me or staring at my imperfections.
I have been so blessed with many friends and wonderful relationships. I don't want to take these things for granted. I always try to surround myself with the people that love and support me the most. I want to be around positive influences and learn to shake off the negativity instead of holding on to it.
Thanks for listening xx
Yes, as you saw, many of us share similar issues to you.
I think you did well coming on here, that group is supportive and previous threads are a goldmine.
Some kind of apprehension in social situations is allright I guess, I feel most people, even those who are popular struggle with this initial "what will they think of me ?". This probably stems from when we lived in small insular tribes some millenia ago and our life was doomed at the slightest disapproval.
It's not that way anymore. This will seem unoriginal, but if you feel someone is rejecting you because of your appearence or cleft issues, ignore them. Easier said than done, I admit I also struggle with that sometimes. But we have to remember that we're really our best friends: We're the only one living with ourselves 24/7, for our whole lifetime !
That's why we should avoid to let our self-worth be determined by other people (unless they state sincere positive opinons or offer constructive criticism that is).