I think I know how you are feeling about the looks. I have seen these look all my life. They never go away but someday you will feel stronger than them. About the surgery, you need to remain calm. I'm sure there's a way to fix things up. Even if it means using another technique to fix your teeth. If you want to talk with someone, I'm here. We could talk on skype or through email if you want.

Thanks man, yes there are ways to "fix" it, but like everything it takes time. I know exactly what you are saying, its just hard to remember that everyday etc. But thanks again and yes I think we should email!

Henry,

I know from experience that doctors can be at a total loss when operations dont go as planned. Obviously, what your new orthodontist is saying isnt helping at all. I wish someone could school him in what it takes to cope with a condition like this. In my opinion he should not be using words like failure and focusing on how youll never get to a 10/10. A face is a very personal thing, but it doesnt define your horizons.

I read a book called Psycho-Cybernetics a few years back that I think describes pretty well what the actual role of reconstructive surgery is. It was written by a plastic surgeon who wondered why some of his patients who received dramatically positive results through surgery didnt feel any better about themselves afterwards. He decided the reason was that they didnt undergo an inner operation on their self-image, how they saw themselves. Thats what really mattered. The physical surgery was just a tool to help the patients feel better about themself. If they didnt make an inner change to go along with it, it wouldnt matter.

So, I wish I could tell you be strong or some other magic formula that make you feel surefire better about yourself in spite of appearances, but I dont know any magic formulas. Honestly Im still working it out for myself. I could offer you some ideas and maybe share some other resources like the book I mentioned, but nothing is foolproof. Its similar to medical techniques in that way. However, I keeping hearing that theres nothing a person cant accomplish if they put their mind to it, and I like to think thats something more than a cliche. A human being is an incredible resource, if theyre not too cramped by isolation, stigma, and negativity. Many of the greatest innovations in history have come from those who faces the greatest challenges.

I hope Im not being too glib with this stuff. Please respond or private message me with any other thoughts or questions. I know its not easy and it sounds like school is not a comfortable place for you right now, to say the least. Here are some thoughts I hope may be helpful, anyway:

Few things will make people enjoy your company more than having a sense of humor. Study the people who make you laugh, try to master the arts of tone and timing. Dont try too hard or treat yourself like a total joke, and if people happen to make fun of you, dont become whatever character they want you to. With practice, sometimes you can turn it into your own joke that makes fun of the situation without sinking to their level. If you sink to their level you lose, so hang on to your dignity. Always, ALWAYS, remember that it takes way more guts to stand in your shoes than it does for them to exploit you for their own cowardly ego.

Above all, try not to let stares and whispering make you paranoid about people. You can still make a good impression by smiling, being nice, witty, and showing people that you respect who you are. You might want to rehearse some dignified replies. Check out this page for some more resources (and elsewhere on the site): https://www.changingfaces.org.uk/Young-People/Self-help-information-for-young-people.

Glad to have you in the community

I recently made a Youtube video about my experiences, because I have found that seeing how other people have got through it gives you hope and makes you believe in yourself more, whilst also realising that you are not alone.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoRCaJEbk6U

Charlotte, I subscribed to your channel. Also, I must say that you are very beautiful!

Have you looked at other teams and/or orthodontists? Never say never! Contact the county health department where you live and see what other options are available. Feel free to contact me personally and I'll help if I can.

Henry I know exactly what your going through..I went through the same thing..Jaw Surgery was the most intense surgery ive ever had. And ive had over 20 surgeries! after the surgery my face was like a balloon..My family cried when they saw me after surgery because they thought that my surgery went terribly wrong..i was unrecognizable BUT it was completely normal because it was part of the healing process...they had to break my jaw i had severe underbite and they moved both my upper and lower jaw..the surgery was suppose to be 6 hours long but it took 12 hours! my case was a complicated it one..during the healing process a lot was running though my mind..I said to myself "i never wana go through this again, I wana die" Why me GOD? All these nagative emotions at the same time while I was stuck with wired shut and not being able to eat BUT before I knew it my face was looking better and I felt better and praying for strength and just letting the time heal me is what helped me...I hope your doing better and believe me when I tell you that it will get better ..You remind me of myself when i was 16 going through that...