Well, hello and welcome Josh. A lot of us can relate to your experiences.
It seems like you're in a bad phase, you're at the right place for this.

Thx that why I am here :D. That is how I feel about it. I am working my best not to feel bad having it. I am trying to make a living.

I wish I could think of something to encourage you. I had a very difficult time the first 20 years of my life but then things got better for me with lots of help from friends and professors at school. I know how lucky I am to have found a husband you loves me just as I am. I am a mother and grandmother. I pray that you can have these experiences one day. Believe in yourself and believe that you can reach goals that are hard. Believe that you are just as good as anyone else... because you are!

Hi there, Josh. It seems like a lot of people have some sort of midlife crisis when they approach 30, when they feel like their time is running out and have a lot of doubts about where they're going. I'm at that age myself, but I think I may have dealt with those doubts already over the past several years *crosses fingers*.

I know cleft complicates things, but one way to make the present better is to come up with a plan for a better future. Although everything might seem muddy for you right now, dark times can provide the chance to really take a good look at yourself and what you'd like to do. What do you think your strengths are? What inspires you?

You've come to the right place. Having a cleft is kind of like being a pioneer in a brave new world. Even though we have other humans all around us, often there are bridges to be built so we can relate to them with our unique experience. Don't lose hope! Others have met similar challenges; we can do it too.

Hi, Josh. I truly understand how you feel. I'm going through the same thing, and it's not my first time. I'm 50 and have experienced so much pain in my life. When I was born, my family refused to take pictures of me due to my cleft palate. Actually, my first picture was taken at age 5, after I've had multiple surgeries.

Living with a cleft palate has been extremely painful. I thought my family and colleagues would be more understanding, as maturity should come with age. Family members still tease me and some of my colleagues often say I need to have surgery. Some family members continue to exclude me from certain functions.

I wish you the best and hope that you can find some comfort with the support of family and friends.

Sometimes, I wish I could move to an island that is dedicated to cleft palates.

@JonSnyder
Thank you for your word, it Yes life is getting hard at the age of mid 30. I wonder myself in 5 or 10 years what will my life gonna be like? I don't know where I gonna be like but feel like I want to give up and die just to get over it. Death is upon me but there is hope that keep telling me that don't do it. My friends, Cousins and my family that I think about make me rethink not to do it. The closest one who that I look up to is my friends then any other why I don't know. They are the closest one who listen to me but family should be the one. I don't feel close to my family. I hope I will find what within me happy and free than the deep sad/bad habit of my.

@Sheliaj
Hi there, yes I believe so. I may not know what you been through but know that you been through then me. Living with a cleft lip/palate is not a happy life but to accept it as a gift of God that he gave me. Even so I give my life to him so he can help me along the path. I still feel I am missing something. it hurt to have a cleft lip/palate but I learn to be happy with it. What I not happy with is my experience of the world, I lost so much time in the world that I haven't learn yet in my childhood. Feel like I am walking on earth like a zombie having no meaning at all. If I did have a meaning of some things then things will look better. Even if that is there will be something in a way so I don't know. I just have to take one step at the time.

Speaking from experience I know where your @. The thing is man you can't let it get to you. To do that is to invite weakness into your life. Everyone deals with issues of self confidence &/or insurity issues. Cleft or not. The trick of what we have to deal with is it's too easy to always use the fallback of having a cleft in a negative way. They didn't like me for this..or that happened b/c of it. You can't think that way. Your just like everyone else..alittle different in your own way then even I am. If you and I stood side by side...both with a cleft we would be way different to even each other. So having a cleft doesn't define who you are.

The thing is your the one letting it define who you are. The beauty of having a cleft is it gives you a great set of eyes into the human condition. It helps you sniff out fakers in a hurry and not waste your time on them. It gives you the ability to just have that sense about people. You avoid negative people and surround yourself with awesome peeps. Why would you wanna give that up? To seem "normal" to yourself? Cause all those who are making you feel less then "normal" are dealing with their own issues you know nothing about. Why do you think their picking on you for? Cause they got bigger issues inside that you can't even see.

In a nutshell..it's really simple man and I hope you make it thru this downtime with wisdom gained.

Over the years, I have learned to not let people affect me by their responses, looks or how their treatment towards me. I made it into a challenge to help me to gain confidence and self esteem. For example, when I went into college, I was shy and conscience of how I spoke. Over the years, I learned not to worry about what people thought of my speech and personality. I am currently considering to start practicing my speech, because I still find my speech is problematic.

So, Josh, this is my first time to this site, it looks like a good place to be. Don't give up hope, you are not alone.

Thx guys from coming from the one who been there :D. I am taking it one step at the time.