Cleft Lip / Palate Support Group
Cleft is a congenital deformity caused by a failure in facial development during gestation. It can be treated with surgery shortly after birth with highly successful results. Cleft occurs in somewhere between one in 600 and one in 800 births. Cleft occurs in several severities and is divided in two major categories: cleft lip and cleft palate.
My lips have always looked a little different throughout my 17 year treatment for my bilateral cleft lip and palate. My upper lip has ALWAYS been extremely thinner than my lower lip. When I had my jaw surgery, the discrepancy between the two was minimized greatly however, my upper lip remained much thinner. When asked if I wanted to surgically change my upper lip, I declined. That decision is one that took me many weeks of thinking to make. Ultimately I passed on getting it done because I grew rather comfortable with how they looked. Yet, I cannot lie and say that with today's focus on mass media, beauty, and women in particular, that I have had doubts about my decision. Everywhere I turn, women are now expected to have full and vulumptous lips in the beauty world (a world in which I am totally immersed in). Not only has it taken a jab at my self esteem but it has made me rethink my appearance. Nevertheless, after slapping myself in the head for having such thoughts, I have taken a look at what makes me who I am and what gives me my strength. To be honest, I am not ready to touch my upper lip. I am quite comfortable and okay with how my lips look. This video was made to clear up any confusion people have had over the evolution of my upper lip for many think I have altered it and enhanced it throughout the years (not that there is anything wrong with it). In the future, if I ever DO decide to change or enhance my upper lip, I want it to be a decision I make because I WANT it, not because it is EXPECTED of me. Not because it is a TREND. If any of you have any advice for me, please share it and give me any type of wisdom you may have. I am not thinking about getting anything done anytime soon but I'd love to know how it went for others if they did it and what made them decide they wanted it. Love you guys.
In general, the work you do on your own character is what really matters. I first got that idea from a book called Psycho-Cybernetics written by a surgeon-turned-self-help-coach, but reading about it and doing it are two different things. It's work that never ends, for one thing... but, to put a more positive spin on it, think of all you can become if you keep at it for years on end, learning from your mistakes and daring to try new things. It inspires me to hear from you and the other young folks in this group who are getting a solid start on that work. I believe people with cleft have a truly unique voice to uncover and a truly unique contribution to make, even if it is harder and more confusing than folks without it will ever know.