Cleft Lip / Palate Support Group
Cleft is a congenital deformity caused by a failure in facial development during gestation. It can be treated with surgery shortly after birth with highly successful results. Cleft occurs in somewhere between one in 600 and one in 800 births. Cleft occurs in several severities and is divided in two major categories: cleft lip and cleft palate.
My name is Melissa and of course, I was born with a cleft lip and palate. I have had 3 surgeries and for the most part I am happy with the results. I could have one final surgery to make things "perfect" but I don't think I want to sometimes. This is a part of me. I have been going to a therapist since I was 18 and I am now 26 years old. I can say I have come a long way since first beginning therapy. I used to feel chained down by society's expectations of beauty, social awkwardness and just a desire to "beat the odds" of what people would assume about me or assume me capable of or not capable of. My therapist has really helped me to realize that I am not living for other people. I am living for myself. Life is full of endless possibilities. I could never have said that when I was younger. She really is amazing in my eyes. I am wondering have any others on here sought out therapy and if so, what were your experiences? I don't know but I have also been wanting to connect with others who have shared in my experience since no one else in my family has this and they really can't relate to me. I'm hoping to make friends
It's amazing that in spite of our differences in age, in location, background,...most of us harelipped people (not derigatory, it's just a stupid word) have to go through the same experiences in life.
You are lucky to have found a great therapist. She's right, in the end, we only live for ourselves.
My past therapists haven't been that helpful, but I'll be going to a new one in a few days, I'll probably update this thread for the experience.
My cleft lip is really messed up and even with 20+ surgeries, it's still noticeable and very nasty looking...
Thank you, but my cleft is way more noticeable in real life. That's just a pic with good haircut (for once), good lightnin', subtle confidence etc... only intended for social media/profile pics .
CleftLipGuy : It may have to do with her smiling. Most people look good smiling, even more if you had braces or didn't have teeth malocclusion in the first place.
@Giggles8722 - I applaud you for even thinking about your surgeries this way. Most Clefties try to have everything done that they can in order to appear "normal." You and your therapist have gone through some heavy stuff and I am really glad to hear that they are doing a great job in helping you find your strong self. I myself have sought therapy lately for other issues, but funnily enough having a cleft and my appearance always seem to surface now and then. So even those of us who feel that they have put the worst behind them have their re-surfacing moments. I also understand wanting to find people similar to you in order to share experiences. I know whenever I'm out at the grocery store or the mall or whatever and I see someone else with a cleft I always want to go up to them and start to get to know them. I never do, I am always afraid of offending people. But I know when I glance their way they always glance back and at least there is a feeling of understanding. Being on this site has been great for connecting to others like us :). Also, you look gorgeous, be proud!
@Woodoow - You look great even though you may not agree with me. I hope your new therapist helps :).