Neighbor is home now after 3 days in the hospital. He has portal hypertension. His blood pressure was so high they admitted him right away. He hasn't slept all 3 days in the hospital because of bleeding. (Not sure from where). The portal vein in his liver is done. I suspect there will be more 911 calls again soon.

Not the prettiest way to go. For his sake, and friends/family, hope he either gets better or passes smoothly.

My boyfriend of 18 years - Joe was buried earlier this week.. He was disaganosed with Cirrhosis back in late September. He was 47 and had been drinking since he was in his teens. In late August he became Jaundice - if some don't know - his eyes

and skin was completely yellow.. We went to the urologist because he was having problems urinating and the doctor told him to go immediately to the emergency room.. We left " I told him let's go" and he said - tomorrow morning... tomorrow morning turned into over a week. When I called EMS - my boyfriend signed off - "No medical Treatment." He finally arrived at the emergency room in late September - a month later - after I tried many times to get him to the hospital. He told me if I called EMS again he would get a restraining order on me for harassment....Over the months - Joe became unrecognizable.. after he left the hospital - he stopped drinking for 2 weeks and then began -up again with whiskey shots and wine. -He never stopped until I called Hospice two weeks ago - by then he had lost 40 lbs in 5 months- he stopped eating and his legs swelled up with Edema 3 to 4 times the size He weeks ago he and woke up and didn't recognize me or his father one morning... He started hallucinating and thought there were people in the apartment from the news show we were watching..

When we got to the hospital - he received his 5th unit of blood in 3 months and his ammonia level was 90... Hemoglobin was 5 - normal is 13-15 and he was diagnosed with Hepatic encephalopathy.. Joe was very stubborn and insisted on handling all his own medication and vitamins.. He wasn't taking his lactulose. and he was always very secretive - from his alcoholism and unwilling to get psychological help.. He unfortunately told others I wasn't willing to take him for help - but everytime I wanted to take him to the therapist he said - "tomorrow" I keep going over and over what I could have done different.. I wake up every morning feeling terrible guilt and pain - We had broken up several times over the years and each time he would call many times begging me to come back and he missed me and loved me - He was depressed and our relationship wasn't good anymore. I was always his enabler..and he never was willing to go to AA. Many times I tried to get him into rehab - he would detox and check out the hospital .. the next day. but I have been told he might have just continued to drink if I left or stayed We will never know .. My heart goes out to all those that suffer from this terrible disease and for all the caregivers that feel helpless

Sorry Michelle for all you went through. I am so sorry for the grief you are going through.

A person with an addiction has one spouse - the substance. They are expert at making other people feel responsible for their situation. It was his choice to drink, to ignore medical symptoms, to lie.

I hope at some point you can see how you were held emotionally hostage, that now you are free, and explore how you ended up with a needy, manipulative person so you can avoid attraction to the same personality type in the future.

Michelle - This disease of alcoholism is bigger than we are. Bigger for the alcoholic and bigger for their loved ones. Along with this disease is the disease of denial. So much denial that they can justify having a "cocktail" or a beer or a glass of wine even though they are at death's door. It is most difficult to understand the mind-set of the alcoholic when we, their loved ones or just an observer, cannot rationalize the way they think. Alcohol has changed their brain chemistry and killed areas of the brain that makes rational decisions.

My neighbor, that I wrote about on 3/2/16, is back in the hospital now for the third time in a month with portal hypertension. He is still drinking everyday. Beer with whiskey chasers. He almost died last summer from end-stage liver failure. Here's a man with a brilliant mind and had all kinds of degrees in mental health. You would think he would know better, but he has no control. Alcohol has a grip and he can't go a day without it.

My own sister almost died 5 yrs. ago from ESLD and when she got home from her near-death experience, the first thing she wanted was a glass of wine. If you could have seen her when this happened, she was unrecognizable too. Just a bloated, yellow mass of a body that couldn't put shoes on because she was so huge with edema. She got strict orders from her doctors never to drink another drop of alcohol ever again - but before long, she started intergrating cooking wine into her food. We had to take all the wine bottles out of her apt. I don't know if she is drinking now because she lives far from me and won't let me visit anymore. Denial is so powerful. I can't help her if she wants to drink again. I have handed her responsibility for herself back to her.

You cannot take the blame for your boyfriend's addictions. The addictions and the denial is more powerful than their will to live. I will say that at this point, my neighbor is suicidal. He will not leave the bottle alone, and his liver and probably his kidneys are shot. He has a death wish. There is no talking to him. Even his family doesn't come around anymore.

No - You are not to blame. No one but your boyfriend is responsible for his actions. Don't carry that around. Let it go. Take care of yourself now.

Up-date on my neighbor: He got out the hospital on Wednesday of this week after being there for portal hypertension and kidney problems and severe rib pain. (Probably liver pain). He signed himself out because the hospital after 2 days because they wanted him to wear diapers because he couldn't control his bladder. He continued to drink his whiskey chasers and beer when he got home. Today, he was supposed to go to a doctor appt., but he was so full of edema and ascites, that he couldn't get his shoes on and could hardly walk. My husband ended up taking him to the ER and the hospital admitted him. My husband believes they will try to drain the fluid from him. My husband told him to listen to the doctors and let them do what is necessary. This neighbor was hospitalized for ascites just last summer and spent 10 days in the hospital. Now it seems he is just going to be in and out of the hospital because he won't stop drinking. I don't really know how he will take care of himself if he does come home. He is not capable of doing the simplest things. He is like an invalid now. From what I understand, they can't make him go to a nursing home if he doesn't want to though - right?

Fortunately, individual right to choose is supported by every court. Depends on state law. if a court determines a person incapable of making decisions for themselves, temporary placement in an emergency situation is possible.
If a court determines an individual to be incapable of caring for themselves, or If he is a danger to himself or others, a conservator can be appointed for them.

Sigh - My neighbor was the director of our county Mental Health facility. He knows every law in the land. He starts spouting off things to doctors when they want to help and then he checks himself out of the hospital when he starts craving alcohol again and the Librium just isn't cutting it anymore. He has bruises all over his body because he is a black-out drunk and falls all over the house. I am hoping that because of all the bruising, some alert doctor will see that he is a danger to himself and at least try to get him into a re-hab with occupational therapy. He can't even do the simplest thing for himself anymore and he is not eating. He stills drives to get beer and whiskey and he drives drunk. He is a danger to himself and to others. But no one is there to report such behaviors and we're not sure if doctors or social workers can do anything anyway.

I am nave as to what can be done to help him professionally, but I am not nave to the dangers of drinking alcohol with cirrhosis. He is a dead man walking now. As much as we are trying to help him without getting too involved emotionally, it is difficult to not feel a heightened sense of danger for him. We know what will happen unless he wants to help himself and we have a front row seat unfortunately.

Thank you for your post.

Mental health doesn't always work. I have been going for 30+ yrs to counselors, doctors, hospital stays, etc. Their first answer is to give you drugs.

I hate to sound negative but that has been my experience.

Doctors are in it for the $$$$ You think they took that profession to help people.. ha......they took it to help themselves. I have no faith in them and only see one when I absolutely have to.

Have you ever researched the drugs you are taking?? Drugs.com is a great site. Doctors dish out drugs like they are candy but they don't know squat about the side effects. Do your own research and decide if that particular drug is for you.

Hey, AKA, I haven't seen you around for long time. It sounds as if you are experiencing some issues.
How are you feeling?
Changes in your health?