Chronic Pain Support Group
Physicians and professionalsdefine pain as chronic if it lasts longer than three to six months and is persistent. It's distinct from acute pain that is a direct result of injury or trauma. This support group is dedicated to those suffering from chronic pain. Discuss treatments that have worked for you, find advice for your specific experience, and find support. You're not...
I started having chronic pain 18 years ago.
At first I was able to push it aside because it was associated with my period, but it was bad. Then it was a different issue that was supposed to get better if I ever gave in and did the ultimate end-all treatment (a total hysterectomy, ovaries and everything) which I did at 25, because I was desperate to get my life back. I was ready to go back to school and do well- not struggle and fail and try to re-do classes constantly. I had been through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy to work through the idea that for the rest of my life there would probably always be something that would require me to have one more surgery in my life. I went through months of therapy to be to a point that I was able to admit when I needed to take my Oxycodone, and then more therapy to accept that it was alright to actually take it. I had a narcotics contract and I followed it so devoutly, I avoided taking it if I could help it, I took my medicine to every appointment incase my doctor wanted to count them. Eventually, she trusted me enough to know that I never abused my medicine, I understood how tolerance worked and kept myself leveled out so that I never needed an increased dosage, I only accepted scripts from her (I turned down an Rx at the ER the day I was in a head-on car accident, and the evening I broke both wrists in a fall because that would have violated my contract), she trusted me to the point that I didn't need to make an appointment anymore to get a refill, I could just call and say I needed one and the nurse would call later that day and say I could come pick it up (I had enough appointments that she was able to check in with me regularly anyways).
The problem is, every time one problem I have gets fixed or sort of helped, or taken care of, it seems like a dozen others come up. Now my Doctor has moved and I can't get in to see a new one until November, so I have to make the medicine I have last until then, and now I'm back to thinking about where I was when I went into therapy, constantly afraid that I would run out of my medicine if I took it when I needed it, and that brought me back to the other part of my therapy- accepting that I was going to keep needing surgery (up to 10 now)- and so now, even though I'm only 29 (in 10 days) I have to wonder....
When do I accept that my chronic pain is forever?
....And how?
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
God Bless
Stay strong get stronger!
You got this
Accepting that pain is part of who you are, part of your identity is dangerous. I am so very sorry you are going through this at an age where you should be having fun and nothing more :(
I have a list on my fridge of non-medicine pain relief tools. Ice, heat, baths, deep breathing, heavy blankets, calling someone I can be real with...make a list of things that help when you are suffering cause lets face it, when we are in the middle of a pain flair we can't think of anything but the pain. So sorry....xo
Accepting something is not admitting defeat, it's empowering yourself to learn ways to adjust life to a new normal so that you aren't constantly trying to find answers to questions that aren't relevant.
You've been dealing with this for 18 years, that's a long time. Can your pain magically disappear one day? Sure, anythings possible, but is it probable? Probably not.
When you accept that a life adjusted to the needs of your medical conditions and the pain they create allows you to have more control over your situation, and disables the constant questions of "why me" and "when will it go away", it can give one a sense of release. It takes a lot of energy to deal with those questions constantly day in and day out. An energy that can be better used finding different coping skills to deal with the pain that is a part of your daily life.
It's not giving up, it's adjusting to your life as it realistically is, and there is nothing wrong with that. I've been in "Pain Management" for 32 years, I don't remember a day without pain, I honestly don't. If I were still living every day fighting through the why's and what if's of the Diseases and Disorders that my crapass body contain, I'd have driven myself crazy a while ago, which would suck because I'm the only me who supports me. Many years ago I learned to live with the crap that life handed me, my Diseased body is what it is, I can't change it, can't go to the "Body Shop" and get a new one. Although that would be cool. So, I can't change it, but I can accept it and learn the best ways to make life the easiest it can be for me to live. I am a Chronic Pain patient, there is not 1 minute of any day that I am not in pain, that is a big part of who I am and how I live my life. There is no way that I can just ignore that or act like it's not. That's not giving in or giving up, it's being smart, logical and resourceful. I don't lose sleep at night worrying or wondering if it will all just go away...
Learning all the things you can do to make life the easiest and best it can be for you is the best thing you can do. If things change for the better in the future, then you have nothing but exciting positive surprises in store, but don't bank on things with a very low probability of happening and create constant negative disappointment for yourself.
Take care,
Kat
I would concur that accepting that your pain exists is healthy- denying it will only make things worse, and may prevent you from getting the care you need. But accepting pain as a part of who you are seems harmful to me- a person is not diabetes, or heart disease, or pain. They are people with other wonderful traits who are affected by these things on a daily basis.
Unfortunately I can't tell you "how" to accept chronic pain, because I haven't yet accepted mine (working on it). I don't think you need to tell yourself that it's forever though; I don't think you need to put a time limit on it at all. I like what OlderCPer said- accepting your pain is not giving up or admitting defeat. You can accept that in this moment your pain exists, and you can choose to deal with it or not.
Sending warm thoughts <3