Hi Sharon, and welcome to a place where great people hang out and help each other! I'm sorry you're in so much pain but we all understand. You can vent, share, rant, have a pity party - we all get it.

Please don't ever think of yourself as less than perfect, ok? Everyone, no matter what is going on in their lives, has some kind of issue or another to deal with.

Your dog sure looks like my little Kia. She's part Lhasa and part shihzu and mostly attitude. She came from a rescue and I can't imagine getting through the day without her at my side.

Welcome!
Lynn

Hi Sharon!
I can only tell you that you CAN have a love life even with " less than perfect " health and body.
There was a time when I was in a wheel chair with a wired jaw and I had a few offers for dates even though these men knew about my situation. These were good guys too. I actually dated one for real for a few months. Also a nice person. One day we drove to the beach and he even helped me limp to the water with my cane.
I am Certain you can meet someone. Best wishes.

Thanks for the warm welcome! Lynn, I know they are identical. My baby is Oliver and his brown eyes and love has gotten me through a lot! The joy he gives me - he is shih Tzu and American Eskimo. He is full of attitude which is the Eskimo - meaning he gets what he wants - even what direction we walk down the road, to exactly where and when he wants his cookies and how if he drops something I pick it up. He has me around his paw!

Aronia, thanks for the uplift! I needed to hear just that. Sometimes you feel very alone and it seems people that are not afflicted with something painful just do not get it at all. It is exhausting and sometimes it is all I can do to make it through the work day let alone try and keep up with people that want to go have fun. I wish I still had the energy for all of it... But right now I just don't. Still trying to get right with what is going on right now!

Thanks you both for the welcome! Very much appreciated!

Sharon

Welcome!

Your life can be as full as you want it to be (with just a few limitations that we have all had to adjust to). Rejoice about the things you can do; those are what you bring to the table, and you will find a suitable match.

With your positive energy you will attract the right kind of people into your world.

Remember: enjoy your life, it's not bad, it's just different!!

Take care

Look for churchs in your area. Most large church's have groups by age and/or circumstances. For example 50 and over, 50 and single, etc. They often do things outside the church and the costs are usually low because its a group.

check out meetup.com and try a singles over 50 group....that helps me a bunch...I am organizing my singles over 50 group now for over year but giving it up in Dec....let someone else do the hard work...LOL

by the way it is my knees and arthritis that cause me to be here too...

I think the thing with coping with disability is finding your own way.

Some people will find great social groups. Or a church.
Church is the last thing I personally expect to find support in America- it's been my experience just a money-making racket for other people!

But in other states/ countries- might be a great support group there.

This here is the only online group I have found where people actually understand chronic pain. And aren't trying to 'prettify' it or make money ( search support groups in my area and they are people trying to make money. I've had more than enough for-profit so-called treatment for one lifetime...I'm looking for something actually supportive, caring, ethical etc )

@Shearo...
I have had to learn to do a lot by enjoying life by myself. I can't walk far. Can't eat far from home. Can't guarantee I will be well enough for appointments or commitments. Get embarrassed having to explain illness and disability to strangers or people who are frankly- obnoxious....

Hang in there!

I cope a couple of ways. I still work part time in Finance, so being busy running my office 6 hrs/day, 4 days a week gives me the "need to use my brain" feeling that keeps me from going crazy. I can work remotely which I often do on and off on the weekend. I always have 3 day weekends. I take a lot of naps, spend some time in my flower beds and do the things that I can do. the heavy lifting, digging, weeding that I can't do, I pay my 2 neighbor boys to do, their good workers and always willing to earn pocket money.

I live primarily by myself, so my home is set up to be easily accessible for me. I've planned the kitchen, living room, bathrooms, master suite all to work for me, without me constantly having to fight my house.

I don't drive much, by my car is also built to my specs, I can plugs my laptop in, my tablet and my phone while I'm driving, so I always have what I need with me.

I don't hate my life...I hate the pain, I hate the constant meds, I hate not being able to drive long distances anymore. But I don't hate my life. I have great Dr.'s who do what needs to be done without me having to bother them, I have 2 great grown sons, and I stay busy as I can.

Yes I have down days where the BiPolar takes over and the Depression wins for a few days, but not very often. The pain has been part of my life since I was 17, and actually I was born with it, I wore leg braces from 8 mo to 4 yr. old. I'm 47 years old, I don't really remember a life without pain in it, and there are a lot of different kinds of pain. So some things you just know are going to be there, you do your best to control it, encompass it into your life and live with it....well, that's how I do it.

Wow, great thoughts and advice! I am kind of likening this to a "death" of some sort and mentally I am just trying to accept my new reality. The problem is I don't want to accept that I am going to live on medications that are certainly causing me worry. I hate the 24 hour pain. I dislike the fact that my earning potential took a big detour. I want to be able sleep one full night without awakening in the middle with some pain. I really miss a good nights sleep!

I keep thinking if I ever get in a place where I can take time off to get surgeries (money from who knows) that I won't be able to deal with the pain because my body has been used to pain medications for so long.

I do know I have to get out of this whoa is me state. I realize it could be much worse. You know when I pass by people with signs asking for help I think it is gonna be me. That scares me. It brings out the fight in me. Just hoping I can keep some of the fighting spirit as this goes on.

So my goal for this weekend is to try and get out of the house and quit being a recluse. I have really become pretty anti-social. Not because I don't want to see people but I am just so damn exhausted!

Anyone have any good ideas on how to sleep through the night and not feel the pain as much. Narcotic, that I take wire me up and give me energy. I am always the quickest wake up person after surgeries. Weird I know!

Thanks again to you all for responding. I look forward to getting to know everyone!

I have the same reaction to narcotics, they jack me up..and my dose for the day is pretty high, with the last pills at 11:00 p.m. I have been so lucky as to have developed Circadian Rhythm Sleep Disorder about 7 years ago...which is a fancy name for my body's sleep clock doesn't work anymore. I take a double shot of Ambien, Klonopin, 10mgs Melatonin and Vistaril at night and that gets me sleep from 4:30a.m. - 5:00a.m. to 8:00a.m.

That combo would bury a normal person under the bed for a week! lol So if you haven't started on a Hypnotic Sleep med like Ambien or Sonata or Lunesta...most people try Diphenhydramine Hydrochloride (active ing. in Benadryl), Melatonin a natural herbal at any pharm, or Valerian Root a natural herbal at any pharm.

If the OTC things don't work you can ask your Dr. about a sleeping med, BUT.....most often once you start a Hypnotic class sleep med, it is pretty much in your med cocktail. they're highly addictive and once your brain gets used to using them, it doesn't like to stop.

good luck.

I've had a really crappy week this week, as I knew I would trying to do too much! It's always the same- I pay for it later.

@OCP
I use an anti-histamine if I must sleep, chlorpheniramine maleate ( I may have spelled that wrong ) but I avoid most meds especially anything which causes constipation which makes me really ill these days. For all the IBS problems I have I'd prefer that any day to constipation!

What next?

Sometimes just a pause and thinking about it...

@Chickentikka....*sigh* I'd love to go rogue and just quit all my meds...but...when you have no removable organs left in your body, except a lung, and that's getting hinky because one of the lungs now has a tumor in it....i have to take the meds to make my body work like God intended it, then take extra meds to deal with all the diseases that God put in my crappy body......so me and God not on great footing these days...we need to have a Come to Jesus meeting over his constant inconsistencies as far as my piece of crap body goes....

yeah i'm grumpy today to, so ciao, i'm going back to bed for a bit.