Hello, it's been a while since I was able to sit here this long to type or read. Just my spin on who belongs here!

I haven't read any replies, because I figure I have them all in my own selfish little head anyways, & I am usually right!! Joke... Ha Ha.

My God, you got to go back to work & it got better after all those years & all those experiences................. I would sincerely hope you would be on line with the group for me if I was ever able to work & have a life again.

There has to be many lessons learned, with awesome wealth of experience to share about transition from one stage to the next on into where ever you are today.

I would hope we are not addicted to gloom & doom, & that you are not here to tell anyone else their experience is something other than what it is.

I did have a friend from a completely different support network, just last night, tell me that I had an "unhealthy fear & bad outlook about doctors, & we just can't have me in pain like that everyday!~!!"
" I should really do something about how I felt about docs it was not good for me."

I've known this man for over 20 yrs and I let him have his say & his opinion & his experience & did not argue with him. I got up from the table where I was sitting with him & left to go do what I went there to do in the first place which was to get & give support for another chronic life threatening illness I deal with on a daily basis.

I do not get to go there very often without consequences of my chronic physical pain becoming seriously out-of-control. I know, that you all know what I am speaking of..... a pain we wish we could stop & have very well possibly wished ourselves not living any longer for fear of having to experience anything worse than we have, for any more time at all.

I love this man.... but I would never presume to know what his experience is or doubt his reality. Many people have had severe pain at one time or another & may have even had to deal with it for a period of time. But............ those of us who have a life which really doesn't resemble anything like what we want or used to have , maybe lost most of our intimate relationships for lack of ability to keep up with our "not in constant severe pain friends,"
I just cannot in all honesty say to anyone I know what they really ought to think, feel, do, nor what their reality should look like!

I have found people think I am a "Negative" person because much of what I speak of is my experience with pain & many not so great experiences with an ignorant medical community. I have many "Positive" things to express which have come from my chronic pain experience.

One does not take validity away from my other experiences. anyways, I hope we all keep showing up with what we have had to endure, what has brought us joy & growth, what new experience today is bringing even if it looks just as nasty as the last decade of days. I believe pain is not something we have the ability to measure.
I do know I have had the experience of measuring what I have lost in my daily life because of C.P. and it is of a value no one can compensate me for.

I trust My God to bring me to experience joy even in the midst of horrific pain. I have unfortunately measured my value & worth as a human being against what I used to be able to contribute to life & how I used to contribute it. This something our cultures and environments push against us and we fall into the trap of judging self &others in this manner. This is, in my opinion, almost as bad as the experience of the constant severe physical pain I endure 24 hrs a day, everyday of the year so far for 8 plus years. I will never judge another this way again, & I try not to do it to myself anymore.
Please come at least visit us if & when your pain diminishes enough to have more activity in your life.
We all need to know reality can & does change, even for better!!

Always In the Spirit of,
Love, Truth, & Service.
"Stubborn TerrieAnn
ralop