Chronic Pain Support Group

Physicians and professionalsdefine pain as chronic if it lasts longer than three to six months and is persistent. It's distinct from acute pain that is a direct result of injury or trauma. This support group is dedicated to those suffering from chronic pain. Discuss treatments that have worked for you, find advice for your specific experience, and find support. You're not...

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/ Chronic Pain Support Group

To be quite honest

AzSherryberry
AzSherryberry
To be quite honest, if I knew my life would be over or drastically changed by my mid-thirties I would have done a whole lot more of the things I love. My two biggest loves were long roadtrips all over the U.S. through Canada to Alaska and back and riding horses. Sometimes still I have such a longing and dreamy feeling about those two activities that I can no longer engage in. It's like remembering a lost love, one that vanished. There are a handful of other wonderful activities which are becoming distant memories. I miss it all. I miss the days when I didn't have a doctor and didn't spend most of my time outside the house at clinics, labs and pharmacies. No meds, why would I have ever thought of being thankful for a life without docs and meds? Without constant, severe pain? Because these things do not happen to people like me. I was young, strong, smart, attractive, a dediciated single mom doing it all. Hmm, then who do these things happen to?

I have learned to be thankful for the moments I can walk down the hall without the pain trying to kill me. To be thankful for people who ask me, how are you feeling?, and they want to hear my answer. I now am thankful for the moments I have enough energy to take a shower and put a little make-up on. I am thankful when I can sleep 4 hours straight at night. I am thankful for the moments I can almost think clearly. I have certainly learned to be thankful while in this misery.

Sherry
Kon
Kon
When I read your post it reminded me of a scene from one of my favorite movies, Awakenings (with Robin Williams and Robert De Niro). The part where Leonard's Mom say's "When my son was born healthy, I never asked why. Why was I so lucky? What did I do to deserve this perfect child, this perfect life? But when he got sick, you can bet I asked why! I demanded to know why! Why was this happening?"

Lately I find myself trying to figure out just what happened to my life.

I know exactly how you feel about the shower thing, it's all about timing isn't it, I need to shower about a half hour after I take my pain meds and hope I have enough energy to comb out my hair before it drys. Sometimes I actually go sit on the couch to rest after getting dressed. Lord those days when I have to leave the house and all the planning that is involved in what used to be the simplest thing...running to the grocery store, hell I don't "run" anywhere these days, I walk with a damn cane (sorry if the language offends).

Here's to wishing you, all of us, a few peaceful moments today.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I never thought I would miss working so damn much. (I've always had crazy bosses from hell! :P) I think back to the days when I was broke and homeless with my first husband - I miss those days. I should be in the prime of my life right now. I miss working out. I miss just going to the gym - now I can't even get there. I can't shower without being in pain. I miss cleaning my house. There are so many little things I just miss... I wish I could do over again. I don't care if they are fun or not. I just want to be out of pain.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I loved what Kon said here about not asking why things were good-what a great point. I guess I am very guilty of not appreciating how good I had it before. Things can always get worse. I try to remember that even now because I know I could have it worse. I have a roof over my head, a supportive husband and two beautiful kids. I have a lot of ***t that frustrates me and depresses me but I guess it is there to remind me to appreciate what is still blessings in my life. Thanks for a great post Sherry. Instead of making me feel bad for myself(which has been a lot lately), I realize I have much to look back on fondly and still things that are good now.
Great food for thought Sherry!
slrow
slrow
You are so right. I have pondered to tha,t in a million years I never thought this would have been my life either. Sometimes I guess God has different plans. I don't know why I am in pain everday, maybe one day I will know. I agree that we learn to be thankfull for the little things we can accomplish.
I certainly learned that you can not tell a book by it's cover. To look at me I don't look sick I hope I didn't judge people like they judge me. I am talking about family who have no -idea what I live with daily because honestly they don't care about no one but themselves. They don't ask so I don't tell them.
I just know when you go through this it changes you in my case I think it was for the better. I have more compassion and have a heart that wants to help when I can. Only God knows what my future will be. I pray that I can be pain free someday. If not I will look to him still as I look to him today to continue to guide and direct my paths.
deleted_user
deleted_user
cp can take away your life so quickly.
i have learnt with cp just cause i cant do all the things i want to, even sitting and watchingthings i enjoy, helps.
i hate the fact that i spend more time running around with doctor and medications i want my old life back.
but when things are limited finding joy in everything.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have had cp since I was 19 years old...I was finally ds with lupus when I was 24. Its been a long many 20 years with the pain and fatigue. But the one thing is I try sooooo very hard to live!!!! I still have my horses...they are my sanity. Do I ride like I used to NO...actually have issues with strength and not trusting myself in the saddle like I used to. Trying to work thru that. But I do notice that my life is better when I am able to be with them. I right now own a boarding stables. And my hubby is working out of state...having to go where the work is. So I have more than my share of work...some days I am in so much pain I barley can get the stalls done and horses fed...but when I finish I feel good. Even if I am vomiting in the corner of the arena...lol I know I can't stop...I tried that and I got soooo very depressed that my life felt empty...now I hurt more but my life is fuller. Oh how I wish I was not in pain...but I appreciate life even more because of pain.
Tishka
deleted_user
deleted_user
stillhav said it for me.. My life is nothing but planning drs appts and counting meds. I'm sick and tired of this life I have now. I wish the CP would take a hike so I can have a life! I'm so exhausted all the time. Rarely do I feel good enough to be productive at work or home. This is the pits!!
tendonshurt
tendonshurt
I thank God for Daily Strength and all of us having each other and a place to share and be understood. Living with pain 24/7 is exhausting. I don't know why me I know God has a purpose for all of this I guess we all just need to keep sharing and helping each other get through another day. God bless all of you. Thank you for being here for me.
AzSherryberry
AzSherryberry
Thanks for all your comments. The replies are all interesting and helpful to me. Someone else with the whole 'shower thing' going on, wow. Someone else misses working even for bosses from hell. Someone else realizes the fond memories and the good that is right now. Another with the 'family thing'- I am with you on that one. Someone else finds joy in everything(or little things) with these limitations. Someone appreciates life more because of the pain. Another exhausted all the time(get that one too!). And another who is thankful we all have each other here.

There are many, many adjectives to describe what our lives have become. Most are negative but are the cold, hard truth. I am very thankful I have the support from all of you and others here at DS. It really is helping me. Thanks! Wishes for less pain and more energy to all of us.

Sherry
slrow
slrow
I too am thankful to have aplace to come nad feel like I am not so aolne. To feel that I am finally understood. If you have not been through what we go through then you have no idea. I believe this group and the people on it is one of Gods little blessings that help me get through days when I don't think I can. I too an thankfull for all of you and your support :)