I went and had that oh so fun sonogram today and it really is just my neuropathy that is causing me all my pain. I should feel very elated in knowing that I can know have children there should be no problem except for the neuropahy. my family says i know just need to have the nerves all in my pelvic floor cut because if i do ever get preggo I can no longer take any of my meds. Im kinda worried though my dr told me to get on prenatals and we are going to change my birth control in March. But no reason why i am having my cycles so much and so bad everything is great. im not sure though how to deal with my family. They say i need to do what is good for me and blah blah blah but get so angry at me. I was sitting in my car crying after the test earlier because i called my mother in law to tell her the good news and she was so angry because my hubby or my sister did not go with me. They say that to help with my neuropathy and depression that I need to get out and have two jobs. I havent been able to work all last month because my nerve blocks wore off and i had such a long cycle. it was terrible. I am still on bed rest but i badly wish to go swimming. when i do i can feel the stress just leaving me. My family grr i go home in two weeks for the big turkey dinner but i am worried because they also cause me so much stress and disappointment but im just going through such a hard depression because my family is so far away and my hubby's family who i am pretty close too get so mad because of my pain. Saying i need two part time jobs and such so i can get out and about. they say that is why i am so down and that may be true but when your pain has been up for a whole month and having hormones all out of whack with depression the smallest thing triggers ya. I am on cymbalta for this depression but i have not gone to talk therapy in a while i go next week before i leave and will go when i come back. i just think it is so hard when you have a family who wants to see you well and you go through this pain day after day with no real help. i have some great friends here at DS who I can talk to and vent too but i wish my family could understand all the stress im going through and they would stop pushing me to get jobs i am a sub teacher and it is wonderful when i can work but they great thing about the job if im in too much pain i dont have to go to work that day. and im sorry that i havent worked all month but they cannot see anything or how much they hurt me when they constantly yell. im sorry im so tired of this life and trying to cope around my neuropathy and my old life i wish so much i could have it back. i was a very happy outgoing person who was always on the move and i had a wonderful full time job as an educaitonal assistant in a kinder room. i miss those kids and being able to help my neice. i dont know how to make my family understand they are making my depression worse and my pain but i want to get out of this cycle. my mother in law told me today that i was a 6 year old spinning in circles lol. its not funny i know but she is rght that is how i feel like im stuck on some ride whatching everyone else have a life and im just stuck in some pain hell not able to move or get out of bed some days. i did get four nerve blocks yesterday and im just waiting on them to kick in still on bedrest but im dying to get out of it and go swimming ad get back to work. my pain level is down again no more cycle and im not taking as much pain killers so happy i hate how they make me feel and that may be why im so crabby and crying so much im going through some withdrawls and my lyrica was just upped from 25mg to 50mg. so im still trying to get used to it just started that treatment friday and bu god does it help with the pain so much. anyways i need to go and find some dinner i will try to think happy thoughts and just be happy knowing nothing is wrong with me girl stuff wise but just pelvic neuropathy where the whole pelvic floor and ovaries just scream in pain 24/7 but hoping the injections kick in and the lyrica keeps working and i will be up and about by the weekend.