Hi jancam. I see you're from LKA. Pardon my lack of geography knowledge, but please, where is LKA?

Jan,
I think you are funny and a great addition to our groups.
I couldn't sleep so I thought well I can go see what the night shift is up to.
That is good.... I like that.

I am going to be brave and tell you what I think. (scary :-)

Since you ask a lot of questions and don't seem to mind the answers I will just tell you a few things I noticed that just raised my hairs...... not in a bad way.... but just in a, take notice, kind of way.

First you came in with MM.... maybe not came in but were here for all that...... you were new but seemed liked you knew the ropes but acted like you didn't.
That didn't bother me really but just raised a hair or maybe an antenae.

Then you came on one morning and said that you were trying to make alot of friends so you could see what other people were talking about. Well, that raised my other antennae.
You were my friend then but I felt funny so I removed you as friend.
not that I didn't like you.... i did, I just felt something was..... well different. But now we are friends again.
The third thing was today I read that you said that you felt that maulkiesmum was someone you know before or seemed familiar.
You haven't been here very long so that raised my third antennae.......I have no idea which insect has 3 antennae
How would someone seem familiar unless you had been here long enough to know them before. But I suppose it is possible it is someone new that left and came back.

So now I am wondering if you were here before?
If you were I don't feel I know you but just some of the things you have said make me wonder.
I enjoy your posts and you are funny and easy going so I hope this is what you wanted for this thread.
You just seem to not just be here for support but you really want to know how the wheels turn.
I like to know that too.
I would ask as many questions as you do but somethingholds me back.

I am posting this here in the open because it shows I am not talking behind your back and that I do want to clear this up.

I told another person that they seem familiar and do you know everyone on the board thought the same thing but I didn't know they did. I just thought it and wanted to ask.
But it turned out bad because she got angry and left.

But since you have said you aren't leaving i feel I have nothing to lose and something to gain, if nothing more than you knowing that I do care for you and want to understand you.
I have not deliberately stayed from your posts. I just have to watch how much I type so if I haven't responded it would be more of that than something else.
Well I hope this helps!
Let me know what you think.
Hugs, Pauli

**I try to give most everyone the benefit of the doubt. I feel better about myself when I do that and that is how I like to feel.

Doesn't a famous saying go something like this
"It not paranoia if they really are out to get you."

So what does that mean Sunny? Because I'm feeling the same way today.

Keeska, where does it sayLKA, I don't know what it means.

Pauli
Thank you SO much for your honesty.
I hadn't realized I came in at same time as MM, I somehow got the impression he'd been here a while.
I'm not going to remember all your points, but I'm trying.
I said s.o. seemed familiar because I thought it wasMM..and have let hi k ow on "hugs" , that I had heard he was getting, that I don't approve because this is, or needs to be, a place of trust.
I do ask a lot of questions, I get more answers that way.
I've never been here, or on any public forum site ( including Facebook....I'm fairly computer clueless).
Did I get them all?

I can't tell you how much I appreciate you just coming out with what you thought. Thank you.


Sunnybun, you,re always here for me, you sweety.

Health and Wellness to each of you..........jc

It means that you aren't paranoid if someone is really out to get you.

Paranoia is usually a feeling we get that has no real cause
,,,,we feel paranoid that someone is following us...... but if they really are following us....then we were not paranoid since it is true.

Sisy what is happening with you today?

I have days like that.........I always blame my meds and pray alot.

I mean I do not feel paranoid so based on what Sunny said then evryone is out to get me so to speak. I feel like I am not wanted here today.

Jan, I love what you said about "you ask alot of questions because you get more answers that way..." ok that kind of talk comes from a very smart sure of her self person.

I am glad you appreciated the post and hope it helped.
I thnk MM had been on the site for awhile just not here in this room and it seemed you came in about the same time but I think that was a coincidence.

Sis, please reply to Pauli, I'm wantin' to know if you're okay, too.

sisy, do you know why you feel this way?

Because no one responded to my post and I know there are a lot of people here who do many different things to make it more bearable yet no one shared that with me. A few did but their not my "friends".

I think Cp'ers tend to get that paranoid feeling because we struggle with so much negativity in the world.
Doctors don't believe we are in pain.
When they finally do get that there is pain, the first reaction is "learn to live with it"
If you are lucky enough to get decent treatment, some addicts or $$$ hungry pill mill doctors cause honest people to pass laws preventing yoy from keeping the doctor you know and love.

The pharmacies treat you like an addict and yell things out accro0ss the store like "she gets them here all the time"
"why do you have three pills left"
"you are way to early for this script" (it can be filled tomorrow)

Nurses act like you are taking money outta their pockets when you talk about your pain
Family compares thier hang nail to your severe CP
Friends fade away when you don't get "better" from the last appointment with the doctor

Underlying all that fear is the constant fear that something is just not right and the doctors are ignoring you until it is too late and whatever is wrong will slowly kill you.

So we have a lot of hits all the time, very little support and struggle against an unseen enemy. I think we might occasionally feel paranoid with reasons.

That is what I meant!
That was pretty long winded. I am sure that others can add to this list.

I am not saying give in! Just recognize that we struggle against many unseen issues that cause stress that can't be pinned to the wall and faced all the time.

jancam, when my curser hovers over your avatar, it says "female LKA member since January 3.

sisy, maybe they weren't online or were having so many problems of their own they didn't know what to say.
I thought of that question..... how do i stay strong?
And all I could come up with is that God leads me daily and makes a way for me.
I write that on almost every post. So I think, maybe people think I just say that and don't want to come up with something else..... but honestly it has nothing to do with anyting I do myself. I have no strength of myself....... "when I am weak.... He shows Himself strong.
In my weakness he is perfectly strong...........

I reall mean all the things I say about my faith. i don't have anything else.
I lost all of what made me strong, fast, tough, and now I am weak...... but IN HIM I AM STRONG.

So that is what I would have said. I don't read positive affirmations, they are useless for me. They might help some people.

I have to have the strength of God to get through this life.
I hope this helps.

Yes it does help and so does SunnyBunn's reply and Tonna's hug. I should not have posted that. I was searching for a magic answer and there is none. And I probably triggered off some bad reactions because it is a daily struggle for everyone here. I am so glad you helped me through this I was ready to leave and it was making me cry. Thank you. Now I can sleep.