Welcome to the group. I also have scoliosis (severe) and have had it since I was a kid. The frequent back pain however didn't really develop until my early adulthood around 18 or 19. I'm in my 20s now, unable to work, the few jobs I have had I've had to quit, or was about to quit because of the intense lower back pain I get when standing/walking.
I also relate to what you said about feeling too slow for people, I don't have any friends anymore really, but when I did it wasn't easy to relate. I was pretty much the only one suffering with pain on an almost daily basis that was debilitating me, so I always felt like an outcast, it's probably part of the reason that I'm no longer speaking to most of them anymore.
My life has changed because I'm unemployed, friendless, and suffering daily. Also depression is getting to me too and I feel just constantly angry and daily I ask myself why things like this have to happen to me or anyone else. I've not "let go" I'm still trying to find something that can help all the time, I've tried a few different methods with no help really, but people (parents in particular) keep telling me to hold on and have hope for a method that will actually help so that's what I'm trying to do.

For myself I know that physically there isn't going to be any improvement. I journal here as well as in an actual journal at times. I have tried new hobbies that don't stress me out as much physically. I read, I make jewelry, occasionally paint. I am online quite a bit. I am trying to find interest in tv. You need to try to keep your mind busy.

I think I socialize less now than what I ever have. Sometimes when the pain is bad or I'm tired it's hard to keep up a conversation. I try not to be resentful cause the only person it really hurts is me.

I try small things to keep my mood up. I sing along to the radio when doing chores in the kitchen. I try to keep a mental list of things I'm grateful for and try to come up with 5 things in the morning. I try to do one chore a day so as to feel functional. I pray. Also I don't dwell on the future. I just try to make it through the day.

You don't have to adapt to everything. I looked at your profile and you are only 48. I had both knees replaced due to severe arthritis at age 47. I was like a new person...got a personality transplant according to my hubby. I couldn't walk 10 steps without 2 canes. there is help for severe knee OA.

As for spines, find a really good spine surgeon and be evaluated. I'm now 64 and 4 surgeries into having my entire spine fused for massive arthritis. I am retired on disability but not from arthritis....I broke my neck 10 years ago and that was when I found out I had massive spinal arthritis. Took 3 years to fight off the paralysis but I'm now pretty good but suffer from chronic pain.

Oh...and I have severe PTSD and DID from parents who kept trying to kill me as a child. May not be bi-polar but just as bad if not worse.

One day at a time and conquer one problem at a time. There are as many answers in the physical world as in the mental health world. So get your body fixed so you can now enjoy life. See a good knee ortho then a good scoliosis doc. I've seen some amazing scoliosis surgery on adults in the hospital where I go. It's not just for the young ones anymore. You deserve to enjoy what life you have left...agree????? Go for it!

hugs..............Jen

See a pain managment doc and get on long acting pain pills, with something for instant releif. Muscle relaxents also help, that was a saving grace. Chiros can somethimes help for backs. Anti inflamtories tend to be a no no for me. People freak out over pain pills but the anti inflamatories tend to have 10 times the evil side effects. You learn to know your limits. You get on ssi disabilty. You stay home, do only what you feel you can do. Don't push your self beyond what your body says it can do. Basicly live life like your dieing.

It's definitely a process! I have my bad days but they make me appreciate the good ones that much more. Yes, my life has changed considerably and I often get the 'woe is me'. I have found an awesome PT/massage therapist who has done wonders for me. After leg surgery (osteotomy because i was too young for a knee replacement and my leg was bent on a 15 degree angle causing damage to numerous areas of my body) I now have scoliosis in three, yes 3, areas of my spine. They will not operate due to the extent of the damage (would have to rod me from base of my neck to my butt) I find stretching is the best treatment for mobility for me. Was seeing a neuro/chiropractor- of little help as my back is pretty much fused in the curves. Yes, it causes spasms and usually at the most inopportune times but I have to learn to deal. Strengthening my CORE and improving my range of motion are my main goal areas. Keeping my hand in nature also helps, I enjoy my garden and going for walks. I find if I don't keep moving, i seize up:( It's to my advantage to move the muscles, no one else is going to do it for me! Hang in, pray for acceptance, and keep moving! You are in my thoughts and prayers:)

Enigmatic - thanks for your reply. I have been out of work for this while, too, I've gone back to school for a career change to something that works better with my new physical requirements.I'm sorry you are having problems with friends, and depression. Our only option really is to hold on and keep trying things until we find something that works, huh? :)

Kelley - thanks for your reply. I have developed a to-do list that includes some really basic easy things for those really bad days, so I can get at least one thing crossed off per day as well. It does help keep the depression at bay. I've also started keeping a checklist of everything I accomplish during the day, no matter how small ("emptied dishwasher", "answered emails"). Seeing a long list of things done makes me feel better at the end of the day, just reminding myself that I'm actually getting stuff done. Thanks for the suggestion.

51percent - thanks for your reply. Yep, one day at a time! I've been told I'm not yet a candidate for surgery, but will be in time. Guess I'm on this "journey"of getting worse over time... So for now it's PT , TENS unit, muscle relaxants, and lots of baths and icing. I've been avoiding the pain meds, because I feel weird not knowing what my pain is doing. I feel I should be aware of what is going on, and if it stops responding to the methods I'm using.

Thanks for your info about surgery, though, maybe I won't be so afraid of that when the time comes.

Sorry to hear about all your've been though yourself. Hugs to you!

Jayman - thanks for the reply. I have taken pain pills, but I'm hesitant to use them much because I feel weird not knowing where the pain is, how it's progressing, if the methods I'm using are doing any good. There will come a time when I'll have to take them more often, but for now I'm being stubborn. I'm adjusting to this whole thing rather slowly (which makes sense, since it snuck up on me rather slowly).

Lynr - thanks for your reply. Yep, I'm in the "woe is me!" stage! :) I really do need to work on my core muscles, I know that will help. I don't mind the stretches that much, but core exercises - ew! Realigning the pelvic area has helped quite a bit with reducing pain duration, but I have to address that multiples times/daily or it just goes right back to where it wants to be. But we do what we need to do.

I have found workouts on YouTube that helps address some of these issues: scolio-pilates and sciatica-pilates by Karena Thek. Quick workouts that seem to address the deep muscles. And she helps you with wedge placement to keep things aligned while you're exercising - no one mentioned using wedges in this way before, it seems to help with the discomfort.

Hello!

Well the Chronic Pain thing can be down right infuriating at times, frustrating, angering, crazy-making...you name it.

For some of us, like me, I've been so long in the Chronic Pain game that I don't remember a time without it, I've been doing this since I was 17, I'm now 47.

The biggest things to remember when dealing with CP is adjustment and coping skills. Chronic Pain becomes a way of life if you live it long enough. You have to be able to fit your life around it, so that you can still manage to have a quality of life.

There's a reason they call it Pain Management and not Pain Cure, most of the things that cause Chronic Pain are not curable. The Pain can be managed with different therapies and medications, but it can't be gotten rid of. So 1 of the important first steps to take is to decide what pain level you can live with each day and still function, still have a quality of life. Mine is 5, I live with pain every day, all day that's a 5, with flares some days.

I've worked my career, children, home care, everything around the Chronic Pain and all of the Dr.'s visits and tests, etc. so that I know what to plan for and what to expect. I don't like surprises...I like to plan, then plan for that plan, then plan for those just to make sure its covered. Yea I have a bit of OCD going on. LOL

When your new to this, it takes time, and it takes baby steps. You'll learn coping skills as you go, tips and tricks that will help you learn easier ways to deal with things in spite of the CP.

Hang in there, you'll get lots of info. from the good folks here for there is much information to be gleaned.

I have had chronic pain from an injury for over 4 years, I have been through surgery, burns, injections and a medication roulette game. Many I cannot tolerate. It is as someone said baby steps. Look at what you can do. I have turned over most of my life due to chronic pain, it has changed immensely, but I still have hope. That little spark no matter how small is what keeps me moving forward. I wish you the best on this journey, it is not simple but it ours. Hugs to you

Hi and welcome. It has taken many years for me to come to terms with my health conditions. I have lost a career that I went to 3 yrs of college to acquire, I have lost the freedom to get around when I want to, some of my driving privileges because of all the meds I take, my freedom to exercise and get healthier, (because most days I can barely move), friends don't call me to go places or do things because I can't. You name it and I've lost it.

I fought it tooth and nail. Got angry, got depressed and felt like life wasn't worth living. Now I just accept it. I see people in worse condition and thank God that I do have some mobility.

Learn to go with the flow. It's the best thing you can do for yourself and those around you. Hope this helps.

If you find that 'to do' lists help you feel productive, you might try the personal management tool called Trello that's basically way of tracking your activities in a visual way on the computer.