This is for all my wonderful friends here at DS. I know that lately I have been coming to you guys with everything lol. I truly feel like you guys are the only ones who can understand. My counselor asked me today since I am on this site if maybe I just like talking about my pain and you know I dont think so. I hate my pain with a passion it has been one year since that idiot dr did this to me and I have yet to forgive him. I do believe though that if I can warn others about the dangers and risks of IUD's like mirena than hey they know something that there dr may not tell them. I also love coming on here to help others and to be able just to vent it is hard keeping it all inside and sometimes you just need someone you know. I did tell her about hubby and I and even how I would have stayed with my family longer if it wasnt for her and my pain dr being here. but for today hubby and I are doing better. We went to counseling and you guys are right lol he is worried about me. He knows he cannot "fix" me and it worries him about how long this will last. he also well they both want me to try harder to get back into working even if it is juts 4 hrs and i can sit or stand. So we will see how it goes im not to sure yet and im not going to say we are all better now but at least today was ok.

Also I was walking around walmart tonihgt waiting on my scripts and you know what I bought some really pretty flowers daisy's and such for myself. They are pretty and I find that they make me a bit more chipper. lol.

I want my hubby so bad to be like how we used to be. When we were both working and going to school I want to try harder for myself of getting back into things they think it could help my pain mostly because when will I have time to think about it if i have 20 kids to mind. but for now i told them once a week and we will see.

My pain is keeping me up again tonight and a lot of deep thinking on this whole hubby thing because I feel like its a yo yo one minute we are good and happy and the next we are screaming and I end up leaving. i just dont deserve it but im so scared to be alone my biggest issue Im scared to leave him. so more counseling I just wanted to tell you all how it went and that I bought myself some flowers and he bought my meds. gonna clean me out here soon way to expensive anymore even with insurance.

Thank you so much for being there and listening to me whine sometimes I think this is the best site ever. I do not have anyone else that I can talk to about my pain or to get help from really. the goal is to not tell hubby that im hurting so much and if we both do agree that we want to have sex to take my oxycodone beforehand crazy huh takes some of the fun out of it. but hugs guys you are my heroes nite