After 10 years with no ER visits, 3 months ago I was taken by ambulance b/c I thought I was dying. Turned out to be a kidney stone and I was treated very well, passed the stone there, and went home. I remembered to disallow meds till they got hold of my pain doc and I was in so much pain that I barely opened my eyes. I had an IV which I'm terrified of but it worked and I went home.

Last night it happened again, only 100 times worse. I spent hours at home vomiting and unable to relieve my pain in any position. Finally I got into the car with my hubby & 4 year old, convinced again it was death, and showed up at the ER screaming which is SO unlike me. I have a high pain tolerance but last night I wanted to die. Literally.

My eyes were squeezed shut and they put in an IV, we told them about the doc/pain contract even though I'd been told after last one by my pain doc that if it ever happened again I could be treated just not bring home narcotics.

1st they gave me anti-nausea meds, then some Dilaudid but it didn't even TOUCH the pain. I was dying. I had vomit in my hair, was wearing a nightshirt with my hubby's hoodie over it & was screaming/crying b/c I was SURE I was going to die in front of my 4 year old.

When I finally was given Torredol, it took a few minutes but it stopped! I went from the worst pain in my LIFE including RSD AND childbirth, to being able to breathe again and relax. And the great part is that while the Dilaudid did some of the pain killing (or so I'm told) the non-narcotic Torredol is what did the trick..

The KUB gave them nothing so I had a CT scan where they found a 4mm stone in my left ureter. And after 20 years of passing stones that NEVER caused this much pain, this was my 1st one in my left side.

I don't know if it has passed as it was pretty quiet since 6am or so, then another pain around an hour ago. I think it is actually close to going into the bladder if the literature is correct. But what blew me away was that I thought I'd had the worst pain in the world with RSD. That's how I always described it. But there IS worse pain. I experienced it last night/this morning.

The ER doc was SHOCKED that my doctor had never treated me smartly for the amount of stones I still hold IN the kidneys. (Those aren't painful and only matter if they drop, like last night.) So this nice ER doc gave me a medication used for men's prostates that helps open the ureter a bit. (Odd side effect, he said.) As a female I have no prostate but am glad there is SOME treatment for multiple stones. He also sent me home with Torredol which I protested but he said it is non-narcotic and he'd talk to my PM doc if there were questions. I doubt that there would be as it is non-narcotic.

So after what felt like Hell, they sent me home but forgot to send the strainer. My hubby had a babysitter/family friend come by to watch our son today until preschool, and has kept an eye on me. The literature tells me that when the stone is low and more in the abdomen, it is close to passing so I'm holding off on the Torredol. I need to know if the Torredol is keeping the pain away or if the stone is passing/passed.

But one thing sticks in my head: as I was brought in, literally looking like a Hollywood version of a street person or worse, yelling things like "I'm going to die!" and praying, "Please God, please make it stop!" rolling around, trying to relieve pain on 2 sides of my body, they didn't worry about someone scamming them or any of that nonsense people go through to get pain meds. In fact the nurse said, "We can tell in a minute if it's a stone by the pain. Pain can literally make a person CRAZY!"

She was SO right! In fact once the pain subsided, I was apologizing profusely for acting insane. If I'd seen ME come in that hospital last night, I would've thought that crazy lady needed help! When I say I was a mess, picture this: my head on one side was matted with vomit that I didn't see or feel, I wore flannel striped pj bottoms too big for me, no bra (and I NEED one) a MGM nightshirt with my hubby's grey hoodie over me, no socks and SANDALS! I looked NUTS, sounded NUTS, FELT NUTS, definitely. It was a crazy night.

I'm not thrilled that they released me with the stone only halfway down, but I really am terrified of hospitals and had nothing with me. That said, I DO wish they'd had me come back to check where the stone is as I'm planning 2 trips in 12 days starting Thursday. I can cancel the 1st one as it is a car trip to visit relatives mostly for Jaden, but the next week is work out of the country. And now that this has happened twice, I'm terrified of this happening on a plane or in a hotel. There's no one to explain for me.

So tonight I will try to get by w/o the Torredol which was to me, the most amazing medication ever. It stopped my pain with no dry mouth or opiod side effects after the IV Dilaudid didn't touch it. I'm praying REALLY hard that this stone has passed or will pass very soon, and also that my son gets his trip home. I'm praying that I never have another stone pass (unlikely as my kidneys are full of them) and if I do, that it only happen in a safe place.

This time last night I was saying goodbye to my 4 year old b/c I honestly thought I would DIE. Pain, which I've lived with half my life, is now a new word and there's a new chart in my head. Maybe my RSD has been under control SO long with few problems, that I forgot what it was really like. But I SO believe that nurse that pain CAN make you crazy. I was out of my MIND last night! I almost feel like it was a life-changing experience in surviving that much pain and of that type.

So today I am humbled. I don't swear at the twitches in my leg b/c I forgot my muscle relaxant. I don't berate the world b/c I have to take a pill to make my RSD stay at a livable level. My RSD, an awful disease, is under control, and for that I am immeasurably grateful! I don't EVER want to feel what I felt last night again, but I learned a lot.

And now, remember the old saying to add insult to injury? Well, my DH just brought up a summons. I've been called to Jury duty in December. Welcome home to me. But at least it's not another kidney stone!