wow sorry...hope the meds get there tomorrow....

I am still having DT problems Yadlim. I tossed and turned all night last night because of no Norco and the pain. I finally had to slam some Nyquil to get to sleep. I don't know if I am going to make it without any pain relief. I feel mentally clearer, but my leg is getting bad. It feels like my knee is ripping when I walk now. I hope you get your meds soon. Is there a tracking number of the package that your meds were sent in? I know it sucks having to detox and no ougs!ne in the medical field seems to even care about us. I hope you feel better soon. H

Looks like my words got conjumbled. I meant to say that no one in the medical field seems to care about us. Hugs!

Apologizes... I HAVE to vent or go kill someone. I have gone all the way through the DTs and out again. One of the not so bad things about DTs is that the brain is spaziming so much that it really does not pick up on pain signals... so I am in less pain. It sucks, but hey, it is something.

I am completely out the other side since late yesterday afternoon. This morning, after no sleep due to pain, my mind was clear - if in agony. I spent 90 minutes on the phone with multiple people before I got one that could answer my questions... WHERE is my hydrocodone??? The answer? It was attempted delivery on 11/10!!! Ok, I am home 90% of the time, but my mailman never tries to deliver to the door because they have to get OUT of their car to do so. There was no pink slip left, unless it was tucked inside a newspaper flyer, but it would have had to have been seriously hidden for me to not find it.

Ok, from the VA I get a 32 digit tracking number and call the post office. Yup, they have it waiting for me to pick up! Hubby has gone to pick them up. I have asked him to file a complaint that the meds should have been brought to my door in an attempt to get the signature. According to the VA, they are PAYING extra for my meds to be walked to my door.

I had to hype myself up for two hours before I could get on the phone. I don't DO phone calls - ever. Phones trip my PTSD. I am sort of glad right now that my wallet is still on the missing list... if I walked into the post office to pick up my meds, I would have to take someone's head off or curl up and scream for a couple hours.

I hate people.

Hugs bill and Jeremy!!

Yeah, it is really rare that someone gives a damn about our plight.

I ruined my knees in the military, got myself a medical discharge because if I could not even march, how was I supposed to be able to fight? And even with that, I KNOW that my knee pain is NOTHING to yours. When I have been bad and not keeping up on the PT, my left knee will dislocate out of socket by about 1/16th of an inch with each step. I would guess that is as close as I will come to understanding your leg pain.

But I can stop walking... so my knee pain can be lessened to just aches (which you can't), but I can't not breath - at least if I keep my promise to hubby that I won't ever suicide.

I am not in a good place today...

I am so sorry you are not in a good place right now. I have been there and it's not fun, but you have a husband, a daughter and horses that depend on you. You also have a lot of people that care about you. Please remember that when dark thoughts enter your mind. You are a good friend to a lot of people.

The postal system is not what it use to me. I have learned, the hard way, that it is not dependable. If a postman doesn't want to deliver your mail, they don't. You can't depend on the postman to pick up outgoing mail because it is not their job, they only do that as a courtsey. It is only their job to deliver the mail and that is hit and miss.

Next month you may want to call your local post office if you don't receive your meds when you're suppose to.

Yadlim, there is a way that you can track your package on the USPS website here https://tools.usps.com/go/TrackConfirmAction!input.action. You can see when your package is shipped, when it arrives at your local post office, when it is out on the truck for delivery, and if a delivery attempt has been made. I think you just need to track and trace your Hydrocodone a bit more. I know it's a lot of added stress on you to do this. When is your refill considered filled by the VA? Is it when they fill it on their end and ship it out, or is it when you actually physically receive it in your hands? If they don't count it against you for getting your meds 8 days late, you have an 8 day hurricane stash to save just in case this happens to you in the future. I know you've been going through hell for the past few days, but this just might just turn out to be a blessing in disguise if you have a problem with obtaining your meds next month; and you now have extra pills to get you through. I hope you're feeling better with your meds in you and get a good night sleep. Hugs.

You can go on that link I just posted for you Yadlim and you can enter the tracking number you gave the USPS on the phone and you can see the history of your current package. It will tell you what day it was shipped out, all of the cities and post offices it has been through, and when it was first out on the truck for delivery. With a tracking number, you should almost never have to talk to a live person on the phone. The USPS is usually good about updating their online system. The mail man uses a bar code scanner to scan the package at each step of the in-transit and delivery process. Hugs!

Here is the link. Sorry, the last link I posted was not accurate.

Here is the link: https://tools.usps.com/go/TrackConfirmAction!input.action

Thanks Jeremy! I might have solved MOST of my problem as my pain management doctor is going to take over my opiates as of today. SHE will at least take my calls and see me when I ask to be seen.

To answer your question though, the VA times meds by the day they ship them out - which for my vicoden was the 8th.

What came from today and seeing my pain management team is that they are switching me to a time release morphine instead of three times a day vocoden. As of tomorrow I am to take the morphine in the am, then just two of my vicoden at night. After a week of that I am to stop taking my vicoden all together and just be on the gabapentine and the morphine... which gives me like three weeks of vicoden to save for rainy days!

My pain management doc was quite unhappy to hear that twice in the last two months I have had to come off of opiates. She wants it to be a steady amount in my bloodstream rather than this up and down that has been happening.

Of course, having lost my wallet last month, made picking up my new prescription of morphine from the VA pharmacy rather interesting. I also had to give blood as she is appalled at the lack of monitoring that has been going on after my cancer and the periodic drug testing. If it comes back positive I get to give my tattoo artist shit as it will have been from a contact high from her clothing!

LOL contact high from tatoo artist clothing...LOL

well seems things might be getting better then right?

Yeah - it does seem at least for now that things are getting better. I can just hope it stays that way. I will be over joyed with small improvements. I do find it funny though that I have been talking with this doctor for better than six months, telling her I want off the vicoden as it is not working for me anymore.. and she just put me on morphine. That is just a different flavor of opiates. Now, it does not have the tylenol, so I can be a bit less worried about my kidneys and liver so that is worth the change.

Oh my! I don't know if you have any tattoos, but my tattoo artist who tells me it is more common than not, has a bad back. It is from hundreds of hours of leaning over doing very careful line work. As this is not a profession known for medical insurance, she does not have many legal means of pain management... and the tattoo business is not exactly known for being drug free.

She used to offer me her pipe at every break, and to this day, six years after my first tattoo, still does not get that I have never smoked ANYTHING. Even though she would smoke outside, having her leaning over me, I would be breathing it the whole time. I would often leave with the giggles.

Now that I am getting randomly drug screened, she is not smoking until after I leave. As my last tattoo session was just 10 days ago, I am really glad of that!

My big tattoo over my back was originally designed to cover up the scars from the reconstruction surgery the VA kept promising me, as soon as I was ready for it, so the dragon has sat, half finished for years. But now that I know I am not a candidate for surgery, we are trying to get him finished. When she went over my crushed spine just with the outline of the wings, I had huge bruises that can still be seen. I have never bruised before.

Hmm so is the big tattoo on your back a dart board or a bullseye :) Sometimes I bet you feel like it is.Glad your meds issue is improving!! Perhaps you need a qipe on/off board where you can leave notes to let people know your mood and why you're sniffling etc :)

I don't think a sign board with a "this is how I feel right now" would be wrong... it might work out quite well! LOL. I will put it on my dainty list of things to do!!

I have learned the hard way that tattoos are quite therapeutic. After the first couple of minutes of OUCH!!! it usually feels quite soothing. It gives a release to emotional energy. I find it a great way to expend negative emotions like anger. Tattoos are addictive.

My big tattoo is... drum roll... a dragon. Wow, what a shock that was!