Chronic Pain Support Group
Physicians and professionalsdefine pain as chronic if it lasts longer than three to six months and is persistent. It's distinct from acute pain that is a direct result of injury or trauma. This support group is dedicated to those suffering from chronic pain. Discuss treatments that have worked for you, find advice for your specific experience, and find support. You're not...
I can't do this anymore. Just can't.
I think I'm going crazy. Yesterday, for the first time in years, I had an amazing day. All day. I went to see my favorite band, hung out with my boyfriend, ate a full meal without puking, and I didn't fight with my dad. I wasn't in pain and I was as happy as I ever had been. And guess what? I got my hopes up that maybe things might be looking up. For the first time in my life, I felt like a normal person. I stayed up until four this morning because I knew it may not happen again after I went to sleep.
And I was right. I woke up this morning with my entire body on fire. I could barely walk and couldn't even think straight. My hand and leg pain came back again after it had gone away for so long. I feel like I'm right back to where i fucking started. After the procedures, surgeries, spinal taps.. I think i may have just wasted three years of my life that I actually thought I could call progress. The past few weeks have just been full of more ER and doctor visits with no answers whatsoever.. I'm headed downhill fast. Yesterday was just a miracle to me. I don't know why I'm getting worse, and I don't know why or how yesterday happened only to return to this.
After a tethered cord release, my syrinx isn't healing. My brain cyst isn't going away. Nothing is helping the neuropathy. My ulcer is getting worse. Everything is just progressing. My hair is falling out, and these awful bags under my eyes are making me look like a meth addict... And I know this is selfish. I know I should be thankful that I'm not dead. But sometimes I just wonder if things would be better off if I was. And the worse part is, no one has any idea. Everyone thinks I'm perfectly fine. The few people in my life that I'm actually close to have enough shit going on in their own lives and don't need any more to worry about.
My life is falling apart. I'm at my breaking point. I can't go to band practices, and am about to get kicked off of the academic team as I'm in the process of destroying my perfect GPA. I can't even hang out with my best friend who needs me the most right now. Not to mention my boyfriend's mom is going to make us break up because I'm agnostic while he's Christian. I've just been constantly dissappointing everyone lately.. Maybe some of these doctors are right and I'm just going crazy. Cause I sure do feel like it. Some days I can handle this pain, but others I'm just suicidal. I feel so moody all the time... Like I can make it through half of the day and then my whole mindset changes and I could cry for hours. What the hell is wrong with me? I just don't know what to do with myself anymore.. I can't handle all of this bullshit anymore. :'(
I think I'm going crazy. Yesterday, for the first time in years, I had an amazing day. All day. I went to see my favorite band, hung out with my boyfriend, ate a full meal without puking, and I didn't fight with my dad. I wasn't in pain and I was as happy as I ever had been. And guess what? I got my hopes up that maybe things might be looking up. For the first time in my life, I felt like a normal person. I stayed up until four this morning because I knew it may not happen again after I went to sleep.
And I was right. I woke up this morning with my entire body on fire. I could barely walk and couldn't even think straight. My hand and leg pain came back again after it had gone away for so long. I feel like I'm right back to where i fucking started. After the procedures, surgeries, spinal taps.. I think i may have just wasted three years of my life that I actually thought I could call progress. The past few weeks have just been full of more ER and doctor visits with no answers whatsoever.. I'm headed downhill fast. Yesterday was just a miracle to me. I don't know why I'm getting worse, and I don't know why or how yesterday happened only to return to this.
After a tethered cord release, my syrinx isn't healing. My brain cyst isn't going away. Nothing is helping the neuropathy. My ulcer is getting worse. Everything is just progressing. My hair is falling out, and these awful bags under my eyes are making me look like a meth addict... And I know this is selfish. I know I should be thankful that I'm not dead. But sometimes I just wonder if things would be better off if I was. And the worse part is, no one has any idea. Everyone thinks I'm perfectly fine. The few people in my life that I'm actually close to have enough shit going on in their own lives and don't need any more to worry about.
My life is falling apart. I'm at my breaking point. I can't go to band practices, and am about to get kicked off of the academic team as I'm in the process of destroying my perfect GPA. I can't even hang out with my best friend who needs me the most right now. Not to mention my boyfriend's mom is going to make us break up because I'm agnostic while he's Christian. I've just been constantly dissappointing everyone lately.. Maybe some of these doctors are right and I'm just going crazy. Cause I sure do feel like it. Some days I can handle this pain, but others I'm just suicidal. I feel so moody all the time... Like I can make it through half of the day and then my whole mindset changes and I could cry for hours. What the hell is wrong with me? I just don't know what to do with myself anymore.. I can't handle all of this bullshit anymore. :'(
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Your parents sure knew what they were doing when they named you because you sure hold a village worth of problems with amazing grace. Your so young to have to deal with so many medical issues.
I hate that you got your feelings and hopes crushed this morning. This life sure isn't fair most of the time and that really sucks. I always think of days like you had yesterday when things are just almost too good to be true as us being allowed to have a glimpse of our former life, before CP, so that we remember what our life was like and we know what we're fighting for.
Being 15 and having to deal with so many diseases and medications and Dr.'s at a time when most 15 yr olds are only worried about zits and boys and homework is amazingly hard for you I'm sure.
To make matters worse the diseases you have are very "hit or miss" some days can be absolutely horrid, some great and some okay, as you know and that makes it hard to set your mindset at a point your determined to accept and be diligent in accepting it.
I know this is hard for you and not having people that you can confide in and have them to support you doesn't help. But you are a strong young woman and you can do this, you've proven that. Learn some relaxation exercises, some deep breathing exercises and even some yoga would probably help you...the more you stay centered within yourself, stay calm and relaxed...the easier it will be to control your pain and deal with and accept your medical issues.
Hang in there, okay? And if you ever need to talk, you can message me.
Kat
Your parents sure knew what they were doing when they named you because you sure hold a village worth of problems with amazing grace. Your so young to have to deal with so many medical issues.
I hate that you got your feelings and hopes crushed this morning. This life sure isn't fair most of the time and that really sucks. I always think of days like you had yesterday when things are just almost too good to be true as us being allowed to have a glimpse of our former life, before CP, so that we remember what our life was like and we know what we're fighting for.
Being 15 and having to deal with so many diseases and medications and Dr.'s at a time when most 15 yr olds are only worried about zits and boys and homework is amazingly hard for you I'm sure.
To make matters worse the diseases you have are very "hit or miss" some days can be absolutely horrid, some great and some okay, as you know and that makes it hard to set your mindset at a point your determined to accept and be diligent in accepting it.
I know this is hard for you and not having people that you can confide in and have them to support you doesn't help. But you are a strong young woman and you can do this, you've proven that. Learn some relaxation exercises, some deep breathing exercises and even some yoga would probably help you...the more you stay centered within yourself, stay calm and relaxed...the easier it will be to control your pain and deal with and accept your medical issues.
Hang in there, okay? And if you ever need to talk, you can message me.
Kat
Your parents sure knew what they were doing when they named you because you sure hold a village worth of problems with amazing grace. Your so young to have to deal with so many medical issues.
I hate that you got your feelings and hopes crushed this morning. This life sure isn't fair most of the time and that really sucks. I always think of days like you had yesterday when things are just almost too good to be true as us being allowed to have a glimpse of our former life, before CP, so that we remember what our life was like and we know what we're fighting for.
Being 15 and having to deal with so many diseases and medications and Dr.'s at a time when most 15 yr olds are only worried about zits and boys and homework is amazingly hard for you I'm sure.
To make matters worse the diseases you have are very "hit or miss" some days can be absolutely horrid, some great and some okay, as you know and that makes it hard to set your mindset at a point your determined to accept and be diligent in accepting it.
I know this is hard for you and not having people that you can confide in and have them to support you doesn't help. But you are a strong young woman and you can do this, you've proven that. Learn some relaxation exercises, some deep breathing exercises and even some yoga would probably help you...the more you stay centered within yourself, stay calm and relaxed...the easier it will be to control your pain and deal with and accept your medical issues.
Hang in there, okay? And if you ever need to talk, you can message me.
Kat
Your parents sure knew what they were doing when they named you because you sure hold a village worth of problems with amazing grace. Your so young to have to deal with so many medical issues.
I hate that you got your feelings and hopes crushed this morning. This life sure isn't fair most of the time and that really sucks. I always think of days like you had yesterday when things are just almost too good to be true as us being allowed to have a glimpse of our former life, before CP, so that we remember what our life was like and we know what we're fighting for.
Being 15 and having to deal with so many diseases and medications and Dr.'s at a time when most 15 yr olds are only worried about zits and boys and homework is amazingly hard for you I'm sure.
To make matters worse the diseases you have are very "hit or miss" some days can be absolutely horrid, some great and some okay, as you know and that makes it hard to set your mindset at a point your determined to accept and be diligent in accepting it.
I know this is hard for you and not having people that you can confide in and have them to support you doesn't help. But you are a strong young woman and you can do this, you've proven that. Learn some relaxation exercises, some deep breathing exercises and even some yoga would probably help you...the more you stay centered within yourself, stay calm and relaxed...the easier it will be to control your pain and deal with and accept your medical issues.
Hang in there, okay? And if you ever need to talk, you can message me.
Kat
Your parents sure knew what they were doing when they named you because you sure hold a village worth of problems with amazing grace. Your so young to have to deal with so many medical issues.
I hate that you got your feelings and hopes crushed this morning. This life sure isn't fair most of the time and that really sucks. I always think of days like you had yesterday when things are just almost too good to be true as us being allowed to have a glimpse of our former life, before CP, so that we remember what our life was like and we know what we're fighting for.
Being 15 and having to deal with so many diseases and medications and Dr.'s at a time when most 15 yr olds are only worried about zits and boys and homework is amazingly hard for you I'm sure.
To make matters worse the diseases you have are very "hit or miss" some days can be absolutely horrid, some great and some okay, as you know and that makes it hard to set your mindset at a point your determined to accept and be diligent in accepting it.
I know this is hard for you and not having people that you can confide in and have them to support you doesn't help. But you are a strong young woman and you can do this, you've proven that. Learn some relaxation exercises, some deep breathing exercises and even some yoga would probably help you...the more you stay centered within yourself, stay calm and relaxed...the easier it will be to control your pain and deal with and accept your medical issues.
Hang in there, okay? And if you ever need to talk, you can message me.
Kat
It you can keep a journal, it will help doctors see you ability to deal with "normanl". Record everything with times and dates and dosaged takein.
Suicide is a normal feeling for CP'ers. You are among friends who care, have or are having CP all the time.
Collect all the data you can about your docs visits, How he interacts with the childrern, down to which mils he swerfesw them.
Praying you find relief soon
Goe Belss You Sunnybunn
You worry that you can't be there for everyone, but you need them too. Don't be afraid to reach out to them.
I have counseled people your age with suicidal thoughts and please talk to someone close to you about this. I know things feel hopeless and you feel desperate, but there are things that you can do.
Yes most ppl with CP have thought of suicide, but it is more dangerous for you at the age of 15 than for us adults who have had life experiences that help strengthen us and teach us how to handle things.
Have you tried the meditation that so many suggested to you? It can take awhile to find your technique doing this, so give it some time.
You said you had a good day, so you know you will have more. When you feel that control slipping away tell yourself you know you will have another good day coming.
Do as Sunnybumm said and keep a daily jourmal so your dr can see how this is affecting your daily life.
Many blessings and lots of hugs,
Toni
Just so sorry for the challenges your dealing with at the moment.... and can only hope you start to feel better and stronger soon...
Awesome, you got to have an amazing day with BF and bands without puking 8-)....... really happy you got to have some quality time... just keeping pacing...
Huge Hugs and Sparkles....
One of the common things we do is when we're feeling good, we go all out and then pay for it the next day, or week, or month. It's a balance that you'll find in time, after many more days like this. Just try to remember how you feel right now when you're feeling good again. It takes a lot of practice- I'm still learning.
Most of us have been at that point where we question whether it's worth it to go on. Just please seek some help if your mind becomes entrenched with those thoughts. You are a vital member of society, whether you know it or not right now.
I can't imagine being 15 with all your health problems. You are definitely living up to your name. You are much stronger than you think, You can get through this and in time, it will make better sense to you.
I'm saying a prayer for you, even if you are agnostic. Everyone needs a prayer now and again.
Sandy
I'm sorry, hun, that I couldn't answer this sooner..I have problems gettin' onto DS on the weekends.
I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time.
I think we have probably all felt that overwhelming let down after having had...for no apparent..or due to some new treatment or Med..
A period of relief. It's almost as if we have to start the whole grieving process over again after having our hopes raised.
We try very hard to learn to enjoy those rare times of reprieve without over doing..and without believing that it will last. Both are very difficult to do.
I think it's important that you have someone in real life who know what's going on with you. If not one of your parents..a school counselor, or a Psychologist who specializes in pain management..
I don't say this because you're young. I say it because you're desperate..and..I know that feeling well. You should not be alone with it in pain.
Not to belabour your age..but, my heart just aches that you should have to experience all this so young...it seems so much more unfair.
please do, hun..sound-off here when you need to.
Hugs....jc
I'm sending up prayers for you. Gentle hugs dear.