I wanted to let you know that I did read your post, but I don't seem to have a good answer to your question right now. I actually left my last job back in November of 2010. (retirement disability)OK. I did get my first check from being on regular disability last Wednesday. Regardless, I am upstairs all alone right now.(usually the case) Oh! I do have 2 parakeets upstairs, but I often feel bored and lonely. Besides, I will get bored to where I will go somewhere, but it will just be me in the car. (unless I don't feel like going anywhere at all)(like now) I often walk with a cane as well. Some people just don't understand. I get tired and feel like napping day after day. What a life! What a bummer! OK. I did get to Sunday school and church yesterday, but I came home in more pain and tiredness to where I actually had a couple of falls once again. (with falls being the main reason why I stopped working to begin with) I still enjoyed being at church. Oh, yeah! I even had Bible study on Friday with a dude that goes to the same church.(a dentist) By the way, I was not feeling all to splendid, but I still wanted to go ahead. (which we have been doing that on Fridays since prior to me being unemployed) Yep. I even went to his house last night to be a part of the life group.(food and Bible study) Of course, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired by now. Geez! I am gonna have to stop typing as it is the third time that I am responding to a post today. Yep. Shoulders and upper back are just killing me right about now. Oh, well! Yep.

I think a big part of the answer is you have to figure out who you are and how you can do what you want to do. For instance you might not be able to make the whole Easter dinner any more. So ask for help. If you have kids ask them to come earlier to help you out. If not then ask people to bring a dish and assign things. People really do like to be helpful but you have to be willing to ask. The cleaning and clean up can be done over a few weeks. Start now and do a little at a time. And don't worry about everything being perfect, your family and friends should be happy to see you and not coming to inspect your home.

If you can't handle having the holiday even with these accomidations then you need to accept that those days of entertaining are past and figure out what next. Maybe go out to eat. Or turn the holidays over to other family members and offer to help them.

If you break things down into smaller pieces you will find it is easier to deal with. Also be willing to bend a little. Don't insist on making pies, Mrs. Smiths are pretty good. Cut down on the number of dishes and maybe make some ahead.

It's not easy to accept change. But it comes to everyone at some time in their life. Be gracious and ask for help. Your family and friends are probably afraid to offer since it may seem like they are taking something away from you.

For me, beginning to enjoy life again involved accepting that happiness isn't contingent on having low-pain. I've stopped questioning when I'm going to "return to normal." This is normal now- "level 7" constant pain that makes it difficult to concentrate or sleep.

So I've had to adjust my expectations of what my life will look like, and find enjoyable things to do that are within my limits. A huge part of this was identifying toxic people who expected way too much from me and cutting them out or limiting them in my life; I need friends that are comfortable coming over and watching a movie on my couch, not ones that are going to tell me that staying in is what's causing my pain in the first place. When talking to friends and family, I try to focus more on my ability level than on my pain, since they understand the concrete aspects of ability more easily-- "It's a couch day" means "I'm having high pain" without such emotionally laden language.

I've also worked on identifying pleasant things to do at a variety of pain levels. For example, if my pain is at a 6, I can paint or crochet, but at 7 I need to do something more mindless and stationary like listening to a book on tape or watching a documentary. Level 8 is where I get "trapped in the fishbowl" by pain and get nausea/dizziness, so then I'll listen to music or a trashier TV show with my eyes closed. Having a variety of activities keeps me from feeling so trapped by the pain throughout the day. Still working on finding coping mechanisms throughout the night though.

Sorry you're feeling like you don't enjoy your life and that you're dealing with chronic pain. If the feeling keeps up, it might be worth talking to a doctor or therapist about whether you could be experiencing depression, as loss of enjoyment is a major symptom of that. I hope that you'll continue to post here to get support and understanding!

i feel you pain OP. sometimes i feel horrible for making my husband "deal with" me being in pain. i'd be sick of it if i were my husband too. i try to remind myself that this is what marriage/love is and that i'd stick by him no matter what. but sometimes it sucks.

i'm afraid i don't have the most amazing advice for dealing with it. i try to have a mind over matter attitude a lot. i'll wake up, know i feel like crap, get dressed (try to look nice) so at least i know i look good on the outside. kinda an if i look good i'll feel good attitude. it doesn't really work that well but....at least its a try right?

MeganElaine i really like your advice and analogies. having a "couch day" makes more sense to people on the outside world. sometimes my husband will ask how i'm doing and i tell him i feel like a slow moving turtle. silly analogy i know, but that day the pain is hurting so much i can only move at the pace of a turtle getting not much accomplished. makes a joke out of the situation.

my advice for your easter celebration is maybe you could make a few dishes and have a potluck type easter? others could bring a dish of there own therefore you have less work. maybe try a crockpot recipe so its easier for you?

personally i try to do art. its the one thing soothes me no matter how i feel. i hope you have a pain free (or limited!) easter! :)

I started a similar thread last week titled "Pain has changed me". Basically the same. Not enjoying life, being sick a burden. There were some great answers. I too feel like I complain so much that my wife is sick of me.
So I decided this week that I am going to TRY and enjoy life as much as I can this spring and summer. be positive. Give my life one last chance. Give my wife some joy. I'm gonna try and get out and do more. For me, it's gardening. While last summer it was no way. This summer I may try and plant a few tomatoe plants. I used to plant 50.
But if we can get small bits of normal back then it is an accomplishment. I know how you feel. I dont see my friends, family and get pissed when people dont understand my pain. But I can only try to get better. I can only say I know exaclty how you feel and try to do some little things that make you happy.

Amexdm

Thank you all!! I am so happy I found this site. I vow to try to find happiness this week. Its my Grandson's birthday and I kept thinking " how am I gonna get through that evening" We are going to have dinner and cake at my daughters...but now I am thinking more positive about it...I am going and I cant wait to see his little face!!

The best you can! We can't let pain control our lives..we may not be able to do things normally,but we find our own way to get done what we want..perhaps trying to take your meds at different times if you know you're going out or take a lesser dose till you get back home?