i'm so sorry, shlay. you bring up such a big point in the life of one with CP. we have no control over the sleep or pain - or very little. what i put down for a week (or more), i used to do in a day and still have some fun.

but for now, i try to figure life out in terms of exertion, movement, and flexibility. i dream of things i want to do. i've focused more on the things i can do (photography and computer things and little crafts) and let go of things beyond my ability that were favorites.

this place really keeps me motivated, faith, always having had to struggle to be positive and my previous work experience in SW. i keep things that encourage me literally in front of my face and all over my apt.

sorry, i ramble, but i understand the struggle...and some days i'm not at all...hope you don't put too much pressure on yourself. that's a very hard part.

hugs!

Yes, pressure. The pressure my friends and family put me though, thinking that I can handle anything. I don't want to act weak so I go hard till I'm flat broken. I hate the fact that my body is weak. I've been eating better (well, not much at all, I think my eating disorder is coming back), getting out more, seeing my friends more.

When I go to AZ on the 6th I'm gonna have to keep up with my dad and he goes hard with everything with life. He has two fake knees, one fake hip and just had hand&elbow surgery. He can do almost anything and I can't. I know that really lets him down.

I don't want limits. I've always had my mind set to no limits and I can do anything... That's not working out so much now.