Chronic Pain Support Group
Physicians and professionalsdefine pain as chronic if it lasts longer than three to six months and is persistent. It's distinct from acute pain that is a direct result of injury or trauma. This support group is dedicated to those suffering from chronic pain. Discuss treatments that have worked for you, find advice for your specific experience, and find support. You're not...
I went into a "storm" or seizure last week. Really the only thing to do when this happens, is to lay down on the floor, and prop myself up on pillows, while I thrash around. Usually when this happens I double up on muscle relaxers (per my Dr's orders) and ride it out. Hopefully it only lasts a couple of hours, but I have had them go longer than a day. Its very painful and uncomfortable.
When I returned to work, I informed my supervisor (like I'm suppose to for my FMLA) and unfortunately another person walked in on the middle of our conversation. When I was explaining about the pain and storm, this other person chimed in;
Stranger - "I suffer from chronic pain, and this hasn't ever happened to me"
Me- "well it more than just the pain, I have other issues as well"
Stranger - "I have other issues too, trust me I've been through it all"
Me - "This has been going on for awhile, and it's progressive, so I am just trying to deal with it."
Stranger - "I've been dealing with it since I was 20 (she looks to be in her mid 50's or so), and I know exactly how it goes. Pain doesn't ever cause seizures. Blah, blah, blah"
Me - "Like I said, its not just the pain, I have other issues."
Stranger - "well you should do this, and see this dr and have them do this, etc..."
Stranger went on for 10 more minutes lecturing me about how I should handle my issues without even knowing what my issues were. She just kept repeating how she had been through it ALL - back, hip, legs, neck, arms, not to mention her blood pressure, a-fib, diabetes, etc... Sounded to me that it is a miracle that she is still alive, much less working. Anything I mentioned, she had something far worse, and something else to go with it. When I mentioned my dystonia and what it is, she said "everyone deals with cramps now and again. You should take B vitamins."
This is when I shut up. Really?? Who knew? I should tell my neurologist that B vitamins will cure dystonia.
My supervisor actually apologized after the Stranger left, and then to find out the Stranger is the new HR department supervisor (not the manager, but right below).
I didn't know how to handle her, telling her to shut up would have been bad. I have seen numerous medical personnel that don't know and have never even heard of my condition (dystonia) before. Please note I didn't say all medical personnel- thank goodness there are personnel that are very familiar and knowledgeable.
This really stressed me out, and made a bad day even worse. She basically called me a liar, and my brain didn't seem to be working, because I just couldn't seem to think of anything to say. Trying to explain the storm, just seemed to egg her on.
Have any of you ever had a similar situation? How would you have handled this?
I feel like an idiot.
Hope you all are having a low pain day, take care!
Jnufish
When I returned to work, I informed my supervisor (like I'm suppose to for my FMLA) and unfortunately another person walked in on the middle of our conversation. When I was explaining about the pain and storm, this other person chimed in;
Stranger - "I suffer from chronic pain, and this hasn't ever happened to me"
Me- "well it more than just the pain, I have other issues as well"
Stranger - "I have other issues too, trust me I've been through it all"
Me - "This has been going on for awhile, and it's progressive, so I am just trying to deal with it."
Stranger - "I've been dealing with it since I was 20 (she looks to be in her mid 50's or so), and I know exactly how it goes. Pain doesn't ever cause seizures. Blah, blah, blah"
Me - "Like I said, its not just the pain, I have other issues."
Stranger - "well you should do this, and see this dr and have them do this, etc..."
Stranger went on for 10 more minutes lecturing me about how I should handle my issues without even knowing what my issues were. She just kept repeating how she had been through it ALL - back, hip, legs, neck, arms, not to mention her blood pressure, a-fib, diabetes, etc... Sounded to me that it is a miracle that she is still alive, much less working. Anything I mentioned, she had something far worse, and something else to go with it. When I mentioned my dystonia and what it is, she said "everyone deals with cramps now and again. You should take B vitamins."
This is when I shut up. Really?? Who knew? I should tell my neurologist that B vitamins will cure dystonia.
My supervisor actually apologized after the Stranger left, and then to find out the Stranger is the new HR department supervisor (not the manager, but right below).
I didn't know how to handle her, telling her to shut up would have been bad. I have seen numerous medical personnel that don't know and have never even heard of my condition (dystonia) before. Please note I didn't say all medical personnel- thank goodness there are personnel that are very familiar and knowledgeable.
This really stressed me out, and made a bad day even worse. She basically called me a liar, and my brain didn't seem to be working, because I just couldn't seem to think of anything to say. Trying to explain the storm, just seemed to egg her on.
Have any of you ever had a similar situation? How would you have handled this?
I feel like an idiot.
Hope you all are having a low pain day, take care!
Jnufish
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Can you identify these rom-coms from just a screenshot from the middle of the films? This is a multiple choice quiz so even if you're not entirely sure you can always take a guess and at least have a 25% chance of getting it right anyway, so why not have a go?! https://www.buzzfeed.com/alysaurus688/rom-com-screenshot-trivia-quiz
RIGHT!!
I also have Celiac. It was diagnosed only after I was very near death. I have so many claim a Vegetarian diet with cure me. RIGHT! Wheat, rye, and barley, (the three grains that are off limits) ARE vegetarian.
I explain that my TEAM of doctors who specialize in BOTH medicine and my condition are well aware of all current research. I am very glad that they manage their disease with the help of their professionals. I am very sorry for all that you have to suffer. And I know that someone with such trials realizes that offering medical advice without a full workup and history would never expect me to consider making changes to the plan that I am currently working with my TEAM of doctors who specialize in my condition. Thank you so much for sharing.
I will do this the first time they take a breath. Then I turn away, walk away, or ignore them. In your case, I would have turned to the person with whom I was speaking and excused myself for some reason (perhaps using the bathroom or anything really) and stated that we can resume our conversation at a later time.
This is a negotiating tactic. Women are NOT taught to negotiate. We are taught to be nice. So we put up with such crude. It is polite to terminate with such people and move to something positive for everyone involved.
Also, you did the best that you could with the information that you had at the time. Accept that and plan what changes you wish to make in future.
Wtf??? Why did your supervisor have the door
Open and has not kicked her out ? This is outrageous. You don't have to explain yourself To her.
Next time tell the person that you are having a private conversation and will Be done shortly.
So my new motto is "Don't feed the trolls." It's easier to just disengage quickly. A member here gave me some great suggestions for what to say: "Glad that works for you." "Glad you haven't had to experience that."
What people like that want is gossip. I've found that they disappear pretty quickly if you don't give them anything.
I agree with Aronia. Why was that woman even allowed to jump in on the conversation? I'm glad your supervisor apologized , but that never should've been allowed to go on like it did.
You are NOT an idiot! She, however, sounds like a bully. Your supervisor should've shut the conversation down and told the woman to leave.
Again, I'm sorry. I can just imagine how stressful that was. :(
Hugs~
LMT
Aronia is right ' I will come back when we can have a private conversation' but shock closes us down when another person is ignorant arrogant and interfering!
At least you know to beware this fool in future...she'll make endless trouble if that's her attitude and she has power over people...
This woman totally violated your privacy, a privileged conversation between you and your manager. I personally would write a memo to the HR manager, her boss and explain what happened, but I'm an "action" person, I"m also the HR person/Accountant at my Company and would want my employees to let me know about something like this. At the very lease I would type up a transcript of the conversation and have your Manager who witnessed the conversation sign and date it, you keep one copy and he keep a copy for your file....that way if this Idiot women ever brings it up again or tries to make trouble for you, you can bring up the breach of a privileged conversation about your personal health and shut her up and put her in her place. She just sounds like the kind of person who might use this at some point in the future for her advantage if she needs it....
And if she pulls this crap again, I'd definitely call her on it, and just say, "I understand you have your own medical issues, but mine are different and I don't care to discuss them with you."
Takecare and I hope things calm down for you.
Anyhow, the suggestions are great. And I will type up the conversation and ask my supervisor to confirm it. I do not know this woman at all, as she is brand new here. I do wonder if she will create difficulty for me in the future because of my health issues. So I will do my best to just cover my ass and avoid her as much as possible. Luckily we are in different departments, so hopefully this will just become a bad memory.
Thanks again for all the great ideas, they will come in handy as we all know, this kind of situation will arise again (unfortunately).
Hope you all have a low pain day!! Take care,
Jnufish