Chronic Pain Support Group
Physicians and professionalsdefine pain as chronic if it lasts longer than three to six months and is persistent. It's distinct from acute pain that is a direct result of injury or trauma. This support group is dedicated to those suffering from chronic pain. Discuss treatments that have worked for you, find advice for your specific experience, and find support. You're not...
That is a hard place to be in - giving up. It is not something I am inclined to do, but I seem to have run out of other options.
I know what is wrong. There is no lack of correct diagnoses - though I have one wrong one, but that is just paperwork. Up until Jan of this year I had thought that when things got bad enough I would go through spinal fusion to curb some of the pain. It turns out that I am not a good surgery prospect. It is assumed that surgery will do more harm than good.
So where does that leave me? I am in my mid-forties. I take 30mgs of morphine, 10mg of cyclobenzaprine, tons of OTC pain killers and at best I am functional for a few hours a day - but not in a row. Today is the first time in four days I have been functional at all.
I am weeks away from finishing a Bachelor's Degree that I have been working on for five years - and I am having trouble caring. There is no way I will be able to take a job as an Environmental Scientist.
In trying to, at least on paper, prove that my Vocational Rehabilitation should continue to be funded for the last weeks on my degree - I graduate in mid-June, I requested to be sent to the Pain Clinic. At first it did me worse than everything else we have tried. The first thing the new Dr did was take me off Carispodol cold turkey - oh that was real fun. It seems that the concoction of meds I am on (there are several others) is lethal for long term and as I have already been on them for more than four years.
Yeah, so two weeks of DTs has left me with a permanent shake in my hands - which really makes typing hard and writing difficult. My instructors love that as my writing is not legible.
I have now gone through a month of classes on terminology of chronic pain and I see a Dr/Psych Dr team on the 13th to start working on a long term plan for pain management.
It has been 19 years since I injured my knees in the Army. It has been 9 years since I crushed my T6 vertebrae, It has been 3 years since my gyn cauterization, almost 2 years since my surgery and radiation therapy for thyroid cancer. and last and sort of least, 4 months since I tore my rotator cuff - which will probably need surgery.
I will use the new doctors to fix my meds to something that won't kill me while taking the edge off my pain. I am not looking for the pain to stop - just subside enough that I can be out and about again. I can still walk - but I use a walker right now as I am training a new Mobility Service Dog. I am also thinking of taking up Yoga after watching a very inspirational video...
I just don't know what else to do. Tomorrow I am going to go ride my horse at a walk for an hour, which will use my energy for the next three days. I am not sure if I should keep pushing towards something or if I need to just learn to live how I am.
What I am is lost
I know what is wrong. There is no lack of correct diagnoses - though I have one wrong one, but that is just paperwork. Up until Jan of this year I had thought that when things got bad enough I would go through spinal fusion to curb some of the pain. It turns out that I am not a good surgery prospect. It is assumed that surgery will do more harm than good.
So where does that leave me? I am in my mid-forties. I take 30mgs of morphine, 10mg of cyclobenzaprine, tons of OTC pain killers and at best I am functional for a few hours a day - but not in a row. Today is the first time in four days I have been functional at all.
I am weeks away from finishing a Bachelor's Degree that I have been working on for five years - and I am having trouble caring. There is no way I will be able to take a job as an Environmental Scientist.
In trying to, at least on paper, prove that my Vocational Rehabilitation should continue to be funded for the last weeks on my degree - I graduate in mid-June, I requested to be sent to the Pain Clinic. At first it did me worse than everything else we have tried. The first thing the new Dr did was take me off Carispodol cold turkey - oh that was real fun. It seems that the concoction of meds I am on (there are several others) is lethal for long term and as I have already been on them for more than four years.
Yeah, so two weeks of DTs has left me with a permanent shake in my hands - which really makes typing hard and writing difficult. My instructors love that as my writing is not legible.
I have now gone through a month of classes on terminology of chronic pain and I see a Dr/Psych Dr team on the 13th to start working on a long term plan for pain management.
It has been 19 years since I injured my knees in the Army. It has been 9 years since I crushed my T6 vertebrae, It has been 3 years since my gyn cauterization, almost 2 years since my surgery and radiation therapy for thyroid cancer. and last and sort of least, 4 months since I tore my rotator cuff - which will probably need surgery.
I will use the new doctors to fix my meds to something that won't kill me while taking the edge off my pain. I am not looking for the pain to stop - just subside enough that I can be out and about again. I can still walk - but I use a walker right now as I am training a new Mobility Service Dog. I am also thinking of taking up Yoga after watching a very inspirational video...
I just don't know what else to do. Tomorrow I am going to go ride my horse at a walk for an hour, which will use my energy for the next three days. I am not sure if I should keep pushing towards something or if I need to just learn to live how I am.
What I am is lost
It can be very difficult living with constant pain when Dr.'s can't find a diagnosis or a proper reason to treat it, sometimes you have to go outside of the Medical Community and into the Mental Community to lean how to understand your current condition and what would be the best way to treat your conditions and weave them into your daily life.
Good luck and I truly hope you find some answers.
Kat
I have no real suggestions as the others had some great suggestions but I wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and hope you get some relief physically and emotionally. That's all we can hope for, right?
(((HUGS)))
~Michelle
I am under the care of a Psych Dr - one of the things I came back from the Army with was Acute Response Syndrome - which is VA talk for PTSD not gotten in a combat zone, just from almost dying from a misdiagnosis. I am on tranquilizers to stop the panic attacks and high doses of anti-depressants.
Right now the plan is that all I have to do is pass. I have two classes left and writing up the final report for my Senior Project that I did over last summer - then I am done and have my degree. I don't have to get the As and Bs I usually do, I just have to pass.
The plan right now is to sit down with the Chronic Pain doctor and psych doctor (they work in teams of two to treat mind and body) and get my medications set to something that I can take for the long term rather than the short duration meds I have been on now for years.
I also have to have them check out my stupid shoulder. I injured it in early Jan, so I think it is safe to say that it is not going to heal with PT - but with my history of not healing right the surgery to repair the tendons may or may not work. I am loath to be opened up again if it is not going to really help.
In an hour I will be on my horse deep in a secondary growth conifer forest getting to just RELAX and that will do me a world of good. I have to laugh at the doctors who tell me horseback riding is not physical exercise!
Pain just is. I just have to wrap my head around that I will most likely not hold down a full time job again - it has been almost 7 years since I last worked, but full time schooling for a science degree IS pretty much a full time job. One thing I have found is that what I defined as bad pain 20 years ago - ruined knees that got me a medical discharge from the Army - is nothing compared to a broken back. But I still walk.
Sorry about rambling, it is just what I do
yadlim
my Misha
I don't know what an environmental scientist all does-so you may or may not be able to do that job or perhaps do it in a limited manner...but one thing that you should set your goals at the moment in doing..is get that degree! You have worked too long just to give up on it!
Perhaps that degree can lead you to another door ..
And it sounds like you are getting to do something VERY enjoyable...ride a horse! GIves your mind too much time to think of bad things though :)
What I will sum up saying is thru all the bad times you're going thru-youhave to find perhaps some new things/new goals...you have to find a new reason t o live because life is too precious to just give up without a fight to the bitter end!
yadlim
I'm sorry for your pain and especially the detox. I've taken that med for years after trying every other muscle relaxer on the market. I have read the literature saying its best for short term use. But luckily my doctor doesn't feel that way and continues prescribing it. My back spasms are so bad they think it has pushed my T1 vertebrae out of place. It points horizontally now instead of vertically. They're some serious spasms. The pain isn't that pleasant either. None of my drs has ever seen it happen before.
I don't know what other meds you take that would cause a fatal interaction. My Dr has never mentioned that this drug could kill me. But I do check all of my drugs for interactions both online and with my pharmacist. I take 6 other meds a day & 2 injections a week. But I do know drs don't like to prescribe it anymore. If my Dr decides to quit or retire I'm not sure what I'll do. I feel the withdrawal effects within 12hrs of not taking it. I've gone cold turkey from several meds but that one would be too much to just stop. I went 5 days without it about 6mo ago when my Dr had a family emergency and I was miserable. They should have weaned you down slowly instead of just cutting you off like that.
Hopefully you'll get some much needed help on the 13th and get back on track. Enjoy your horseback ride. And congratulations on your degree. That's a major accomplishment with or without your medical issues.
Glad you found us, but sorry you needed to. We're a pretty good group of folks. We all have different issues but you'll usually find someone that can relate to what you're going through.
Hugs,
Emerald
And nothing else works quite as well either. Just over an hour ago my back spasmed so hard that I could not breath. I had to go down to my knees, resting my head on the ground for several minutes while my daughter and friends FREAKED OUT around me before I could get enough air to let them know I was actually ok.
The Dr who pulled me off the Carispodol said it was because I am also on high doses of opiates (hydrocodone) and tranquilizers (clonazepam) and lets not forget the antidepressants (prozac). Apparently the combination of the first three has been causing quite a few deaths in veterans in the last couple of years. People have been falling asleep and not waking up - which is why I did not put up a fuss about coming off the Carispodol, before I realized how hard it was going to be. That and two months (?) later my hands still shake to the point I can't write with a pen.
But today is a good day. I got to ride my horse. I got to laugh with my daughter. I am going to go take a hot shower and then a nap.
love to all!!!
yadlim and my Misha
During my carisoprodol withdrawal I couldn't stand completely upright without getting dizzy or nauseous & needing to vomit. I too spent plenty of time on the floor in spasm afraid to move so I feel your pain. But again I only dealt with it for 5days not weeks or months. Ugh I'm so sorry you're having to go through this.
kat
Glad to hear about the special times you have been having-it's good to appreciate even the short periods-makes life worth living!