I lost my farm in October and at the time it really affected my pain levels. I can somewhat understand what you're going through, just wish I could help more other than a few words. Vent what you need to, keeping stuff like this to yourself will just wear you down even more. I truly wish you well, Blaine

It's so scary that it can be worse. I'm so sorry this is happening to you.

Mark it sounds like you need some legal assistance. Check with your county legal aide society. They usually can offer some free help. At least enough to get you on the right track.

As to your home. Well unless she has an order of protection your wife cannot keep you out of your home if your name is on the title. If it is joint property you can and should live there. Many people who are separated share their home because it is so expensive to live separately and if they have children leaving is considered abandonment. If she won't let you in the door you call the police and they will tell her she cannot keep you out.

As to foreclosure, well again if you jointly own the house and haven't been paying the mortgage you are as responsible as she is. You need to call your mortgage company and explain your situation. They don't want to foreclose and many offer services to help.

Doing nothing is the worst thing possible. I know it's not easy but there are people who will help. All you have to do is ask. Make some phone calls.

Hi hun...

I posted 3 paragraphs to you and then I lost my entire post. I want you to know something. I am here for you hun. You vent and do whatever you need to do...we are here for you!!!! You are not alone. Home is where the heart is...more than walls and brick hun. You have a home here with us sweetheart!! I also want you to know that I can identify with the desperation is so bad you cannot stand it and it is then that I rely on my faith to get me through. In the span of about 7 months I lost a major job, lost insurance, told I am terminally ill, placed on oxygen, unable to drive, lost dependence, and am now losing home and being sued. You are stronger than you think and I am telling you a summary of my nightmare to let you know I am still here kicking despite it all and if you take my hand I will help you too!! No matter how hopeless your circumstances or mine there is always hope. I refuse to quit and you have a friend in me!!!

The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sunscorched land.....You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Isaiah 58:11

((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I have stopped asking what's next to fail...instead I have had to start to say what is beautiful today bc when you reach the bottom you have to start looking up;)

Mark, sorry things are so hard for you right now.

So glad you are a part of this group so that you can get a bit of support.

Try not to get overwhelmed. Take things in stages and parts. Figure out things one at a time.

We are here and we care...

When I had my first of 18 major surgeries, it was for a sudden onset of massive internal bleeding. At the time, we had been in our dream house we had built for less than two years. It was out in the county on an acre of land. I built a custom designed shop building for my sign business at the back of the property with a separate drive back to it. We also poured a huge concrete patio in the area formed by the U shape of the house. I was disabled for 6 months afterwards and had no income from my business. My mortgage company sent a rep out who observed the improvements I made. For some reason, they backed out of an arrangement to let me pay the interest on the mortgage for six months til I was back on my feet and immediately foreclosed on me. I was in bed, unable to lift a gallon of milk when several of my friends showed up with trailers to move us out into an old rent house we found. The mortgage company stole my house after seeing all the expensive improvements I made. I seriously considered leaving a lit flare in the house when I closed the door for the last time. We planned to live there the rest of our lives and were the youngest family on the block of custom homes. I know how losing a house feels and hope karma has caught up with the mortgage company execs who made this decision. The emotional component of my pain went through the roof after that. By finally letting go of it, I gave myself a gift that vastly improved my outlook. I hope you can find the same peace.

We were living in GA when my husband lost his job. We had 2 of our disabled children living at home, I was recovering from my second colon surgery and we were going through our savings at an unbelievable rate due to also paying for cobra. Our son with spina bifida had to put off his new wheelchair. Somedays I felt like I couldn't breath.

We put the house on the market and nothing. Our subdivision had 238 homes of which 50%..yes, 50% were now being short saled or in foreclosure because most owners in our area lost their jobs at the Coke facility and the Delta pilots lost benefits etc. We didn't stand a chance. Couldn't rent.

We bit the bullet and moved back home to Oregon. My husband got a job 400 miles away from where we were now renting. He came home weekends. The mortgage company whould do nothing. Absolutely nothing. I had worked in both real estate and mortgage so was not totally ignorant. After all this time I still cringe when I think about the loss. We should have been able to sell and make a profit.

The house is Georgia went into foreclosure. The mortgage company would not refinance the GA house where we could have actually made the payments. I will never understand why they would rather take the house from a family with medical issues.

We were in a state of shock that nothing would save the house so we could sell and maybe have something to show for all the improvements etc. It changes how you think about yourself and also credit. We didn't think we'd be able to buy another home for 3 years after the foreclosure.

In the midst of this we found an owner that needed to move quickly, couldn't sell his house that needed renovations so we talked with him and told him about our situation. He wanted to help. He owned his house free and clear so he has carried the mortgage for 4 years.

There are so many of us that have lost homes which affects how we then feel. It does cause the pain levels to increase when we are under so much stress and losing a house is one of the most stressful for us as it continues to be foremost in our minds for a considerable length of time.

We are here for you to vent, cry and lash out at the injustice. We are a safe, caring and loving community.
Joanne

Home is definitely where your heart is. I can relate because our home, the only one we ever bought, is in foreclosure and because of my medical bills, we can't get it back. And then on top of it, a pipe broke and flooded the entire place with most of our belongings in it and we lost nearly everything. I am especially upset by losing things that had great sentimental value to me, but at least we rescued my Lane chest that had most of the precious things from my son's babyhood and things of my moms in it.
We now live in a 800 sq. foot 2 br apt that is one very long flight up on the 2nd floor. We barely have room to move, but i'm thankful that at least we're together. It's even harder for you, who not only lost a home but a relationship too.


But as Beth said, you are stronger than you think. You will get through this and things will get better. God has your back.

Sandy

Mark, just take it as it comes. That's all any of us can do. This will pass and one day, hopefully soon, you'll be on the upswing. I know...easy for ME to say.

Try to find a distraction. That will help you get through the times when you feel helpless.

Gentle hugs.

Hey Mark,

Well this isn't anything you and I haven't discussed before, you have to manup and tell your witchy wife and daughters where to get off! They can't legally keep you from your home if your name is on the Deed. You have just as much right to it as they do. Yes, they can be evil and cruel and keep you from wanting to be there, but they can't keep you from being there.

If she hasn't made the payments on purpose to force a foreclosure, you can call the mortgage co. and try to work something out, you don't have to have her permission or cooperation, it's not like she asked for yours. Most states have inacted some type of "mortgage assistance" program now, you might be able to get help that way. Checking in with the legal aid program in your county or city would definitely be a good idea....but know that you will have to fight for what you want, so be ready for it. Just because your a CP'er doesn't mean you have to lie down and let people treat you badly, not even so-called family.

Do what you need to do bud, go take your house back!

Kat

update to all my friends, well its been a very hectic 5 days thanks to my hopefully some day ex wife. after years of abuse she still is able to reach out and affect my life, because she diddnt pay the mortgage on our home all this shit happened and i had to jump in and promise my support to my mortgage company so hopefully they will ok a mortgage modification so we dont loose the house. so my wife gets a cheaper mortgage, while i am still out in the world all alone in pain.living of disability.

I lost my home a few years ago that way., I am so very sorry. It always helps me to remember that there is a reason for what happens. we might not see the good of it until years later, but when I look back, I can usually see that reason.

Weak words during such a time I know. Regardless, you have my sympathy and support. huge hugs. I am very sorry for your loss.


Jeanne (AmiaEagle48)

Mark--

The pain I can relate to but I can't begin to imagine how it must be to lose your home. I am sorry. You have every right to come here and bitch about things. I am here to support you and I'm sure there will be others tht follow that will support you too. Hang in there. I'm sorry my words fall short but I have no idea what to say.

Hang in there and I hope you get help soon. Everyone gave good advice. I know what you are going through. The house I live in was my grandpas house. My husband and I helped my dad after my mother passed away. I gave my father 4000 down on the house and we were going to sign a contract for deed he died two weeks after. That was 5 years ago. I was to be Executor of the estate, my brother fought the will and became executor. My father had 4 properties besides this house. The first 3 sold, the other one my brother let go into foreclosure now there may be a good chance that I lose the house that I am living in. Because of the pain and the stress I have to not think about it unless I have to and take it one day at a time. We cannot let extra stress into our bodies. Not in the kind of shape we are in. Our bodies can only handle so much. Do what you can with the house. But then de stress don't think about it take care of your body first. I know it is hard I am living day to day not knowing what will happen to me but no matter what take care of yourself first. I will pray for you and hope everything falls into place for you. Angela

I'm so sorry your living with such stress on top of CP. I wish you all the best and hope things start to improve for you soon.