Chronic Pain Support Group
Physicians and professionalsdefine pain as chronic if it lasts longer than three to six months and is persistent. It's distinct from acute pain that is a direct result of injury or trauma. This support group is dedicated to those suffering from chronic pain. Discuss treatments that have worked for you, find advice for your specific experience, and find support. You're not...
Having had RSD of the left foot and leg for 14 years, I've had a lot to deal with. But I've always felt a bit lucky b/c I'm still able to do the work I do, be a wife, mother, housekeeper (not my favorite role) and I fly approximately 90,000 a year- mostly work. June/July is my busy time and I have 3 trips planned for the rest of June, start of July.
I leave Saturday for a quick jaunt to Cancun. 3 days isn't too bad, though I've never done it that quickly before. Then I'm home till the 24th, when I leave for New York City for my annual Girl's Theater Trip. From New York I'm on to Scotland, where I have meetings and side trips to write about, and I normally love the stuff we do. But something is up with my body.
This week started okay but my pain levels are way up (it's REALLY humid out) and I am having pain in my right knee -not RSD pain, just pain when I put pressure on it, especially stairs and carrying my son. The insomnia is out of control. Nothing seems to be working. Meditation isn't calming me, nor is medication. I can't visualize.
But the thing that made it worse in my head, and I KNOW this is ridiculous, is that I had to get a new cane. I went years without one and left mine in an airplane overhead compartment about a year ago. I have been SO proud of not needing it. But my foot is having a flare up and my hubby went out and picked up another one for me. And just the sight of it makes me ashamed.
I'm an intelligent woman, so WHY does it upset me so much? It's JUST a cane! 14 years ago one of the docs at the diagnosis told me that I'd likely be in a wheelchair by my 40th birthday. I'm 42 and proud of what I've achieved. RSD is a helluva disease, and I could've very well ended up that way, but I'm so stubborn I didn't want to even let the thought take root.
So even though my new knee pain isn't RSD-like, I'm pretty down knowing that I might have to take that cane to Mexico this weekend. And even worse, I might need it in NYC! Edinburgh would make it even worse, as I have colleagues there I'm so looking forward to seeing again and things to do that require physical and mental pushing to get through. Normally I look forward to those trips, and proud of myself for pushing through the pain and DOING it. (Not that I'd EVER be able to do it w/o the pain meds. THOSE are a part of my life that I am NOT ashamed or embarrassed of!)
I just want my confidence back. Could a little cane be doing all this? I HATE feeling like this! I hate knowing I need to go get an xray of my knee and worrying about what it is. I didn't go through much depression or anxiety with my CP- I just did what I was told and got through it. I really don't like feeling sorry for myself, yet, I AM. I want to be my coworkers with no canes and no meds and no worries that my foot will turn colors and start sweating. And THAT is the part I KNOW about. The RSD is just a matter of remembering my meds and knowing how far I can push. But now all this other stuff...
I'm freaking out over a cane? Or is it lack of sleep? It's been 2 nights now, if I am counting correctly. I'm just kind of at a loss right now. What is going on with me? And why is it hitting me just today? Maybe it is just a bad day? I really don't know.
I leave Saturday for a quick jaunt to Cancun. 3 days isn't too bad, though I've never done it that quickly before. Then I'm home till the 24th, when I leave for New York City for my annual Girl's Theater Trip. From New York I'm on to Scotland, where I have meetings and side trips to write about, and I normally love the stuff we do. But something is up with my body.
This week started okay but my pain levels are way up (it's REALLY humid out) and I am having pain in my right knee -not RSD pain, just pain when I put pressure on it, especially stairs and carrying my son. The insomnia is out of control. Nothing seems to be working. Meditation isn't calming me, nor is medication. I can't visualize.
But the thing that made it worse in my head, and I KNOW this is ridiculous, is that I had to get a new cane. I went years without one and left mine in an airplane overhead compartment about a year ago. I have been SO proud of not needing it. But my foot is having a flare up and my hubby went out and picked up another one for me. And just the sight of it makes me ashamed.
I'm an intelligent woman, so WHY does it upset me so much? It's JUST a cane! 14 years ago one of the docs at the diagnosis told me that I'd likely be in a wheelchair by my 40th birthday. I'm 42 and proud of what I've achieved. RSD is a helluva disease, and I could've very well ended up that way, but I'm so stubborn I didn't want to even let the thought take root.
So even though my new knee pain isn't RSD-like, I'm pretty down knowing that I might have to take that cane to Mexico this weekend. And even worse, I might need it in NYC! Edinburgh would make it even worse, as I have colleagues there I'm so looking forward to seeing again and things to do that require physical and mental pushing to get through. Normally I look forward to those trips, and proud of myself for pushing through the pain and DOING it. (Not that I'd EVER be able to do it w/o the pain meds. THOSE are a part of my life that I am NOT ashamed or embarrassed of!)
I just want my confidence back. Could a little cane be doing all this? I HATE feeling like this! I hate knowing I need to go get an xray of my knee and worrying about what it is. I didn't go through much depression or anxiety with my CP- I just did what I was told and got through it. I really don't like feeling sorry for myself, yet, I AM. I want to be my coworkers with no canes and no meds and no worries that my foot will turn colors and start sweating. And THAT is the part I KNOW about. The RSD is just a matter of remembering my meds and knowing how far I can push. But now all this other stuff...
I'm freaking out over a cane? Or is it lack of sleep? It's been 2 nights now, if I am counting correctly. I'm just kind of at a loss right now. What is going on with me? And why is it hitting me just today? Maybe it is just a bad day? I really don't know.
Yes, a cain can do all that. I have to use a cervical collar, because I had to remove the first vertebra (and so my neck doesn't have much strength), and I feel so so bad when someone I know sees me with it, because it feels like I am weak.
But, do you know something? We aren't weak, we should be so proud of ourselves as we deal with all this pain. You specially: you aren't in a wheel chair, and I am so happy to know that, because you are strong and you fight the pain. Don't worry about the cain, if you meet your coworkers with all your confidence "they won't even notice the cain".
However, I am concerned about your insomnias. It is awful. Try talking to your doctor to get some sleeping pills or something that will help.
Good luck with your trips.
I know about triggers! I also fight with PTSD.
I hope you get the knee checked before you travel and get something to help you sleep. Exhaustion only makes everything else seem worse.
I wonder if you migt find a really cool looking cane in Cancun...
Hugs,
Cherry
Back in 2007 when my fusion failed, I walked for a full year with a walker, and it was a pain in the rear. Then I graduated to my cane, my cane has been to; St.Thomas, St.Croix, Puerto Rico, Jamaica, etc. I love cruise, and my mother and I try to do it at least twice a year.
The cane just like my pain does not define who I am. I am a mother, a social worker, a daughter, sister and friend. Pain is something that I have, is not who I am. So find yourself a cute cane, mine has butterflies, and go do your work, the cane is just an aid, at least that is the way that I see it.
But thanks for giving me an outlet, no need to respond, i know they are right but still makes for a sucky day, AND its nasty hot and muggy. Thank God for new video games...so hi y'all.
I hope you get some sleep and wake up refreshed and take back your power over that stupid new cane. You are awesome!
Peace,
Pinky
As a fellow rsd'er, I know what your going through...I know the fear of it spreading too.
I know it sucks having to have crutches or a cane to walk, but hopefully itll only be while the pain is so bad. Better to keep the weight off your leg while its bad...otherwise if you distress it more it could get worse. Hopefully itll only be for a couple of weeks, if youve gone so long without it, you can defo go without it again!
And just think...if youve got a cane you can hit annoying people with it :P
I also believe its sometimes better to have one. When my rsd's bad, I walk, as people say...'like ive shat myself' haha. Better to have a cane and walk normally than people thinking youve got some sort of poo problem going on :P
Seriously though, I know how sucky it feels...Ive had to borrow my nans walking stick before when Ive been bad. But it wont be for long as you WILL feel better and you WONT need it again soon!
As for the sleeping, try and do a lil bit of gentle exercise before bedtime.
Take care and really hope your feeling better soon xx
Hoping tonight s a good one for everyone and thank-you. You guys are truly amazing and this place is so perfect for people like me. Thank-you. :)
Part of how I came to accept my stick was by giving it a name. I call him Fred (yes I could have been a bit more creative) and always refer to him as that. What that does for me is take the focus off the fact that it is a cane... because it is "I can't go out without Fred, my faithful, constant companion" rather than I need to use a cane all the time.
You have done incredibly well to have had RSD for so long and yet you have been able to minimise the impact it has on your life. Just the fact that you have managed to keep working and to have kept the extent of your pain private is really admirable. I do think that perhaps the lack of sleep has contributed to you feeling more fragile than usual at this point. Bear in mind that both pain and sleep deprivation are recognised forms of torture... so when you put both things together it's no wonder it affects our state of mind.
I hope your trips go as well as possible and that the travelling doesn't increase your pain any further.
Take care... hugs... Gaye... xxx