I'm sorry you are in pain. I go through periods of that...a new pain appears and I think my back hurts, I have lung cancer. My pelvic are hurts, I have colon cancer, LOL.

I am happy you have an understanding loving family, it sure helps. For years, I wanted to just die, but my pain dr has me feeling fantasic. I am in big trouble if I over do it, or have too much stress, but i can now deal with it thanks to my pain dr.

Keep us posted on the byopsies and good luck

I fear living more. I can't wait to be done with the everyday challenge of
what pain will be on the menu today?
will any doctor answer my calls?
will the darn reception gives a rats behind that I am horrible pain?
OR
will she have faced so many like ICP that she is worn out and just does not give a hoot anymore?
How about family support?

Think I should stop now!

Sunny I'm so sorry to hear you got so much on your plate right now. Fear can paralyze you. The fear of the unknown is the worst. I sure am praying that everything comes back benign. If you ever want to talk I'm around just a bought all the time. I pray that you wake tomorrow and every lump in your body is gone.

Healing hugs

jancam- I'm so sorry your going through this right now. Wow when it rains it pours doesn't it? I too, have a lot happening right now, and definitely am dealing with the chronic fear of the pain and what it means now for me. Hang in there...

Sunnybunn Hang in there too, hope your doctor is better than that nasty receptionist was!

i'm sad to hear about this, but it seems perfectly normal.

i have physical fear of pain. i find that it comes and goes and i oscillate between having fear that limits my activity to total abandon and anger where i push myself too hard, wind up in pain for days and repeat the cycle.

i know that i am terrified of falling anymore, it's just happened way too many times. i am afraid when it's rainy that my cane won't catch and i'm afraid in parking lots (since i've fallen there too) that i'll lose my daughter's hand and one of us will be hit by a car. i'm afraid to do a lot of things that make the pain worse and sometimes i'm afraid of emotional situations that cause stress that makes my pain worse. i take ativan when the latter kicks in because i can panic at times. (and panic scares the crap out of me.)

but, like i said, if even a simple painless hour reminds me that i'm in my early thirties, i push too hard against the pain and fear and that's not wise either.

i guess i'm with you 50%. it's not all the time, but the fear is there. fear of painful testing and procedures is always present when the time comes.

i'm sorry you're dealing with more fear than you can tolerate. i think fear of fear ranks pretty high up there in the list of frustrations we get to deal with.

with care,
jen

Thanks for your support, everybody.

Jancam my message was meant for you and sunny DS is really screwing up bad. When I replied it said it was sunnybunn's post. This is so frustrating.

I hate hearing about lumps and then the stress of waiting for the lab results to come back. It's torture. Been there numerous times. They tell us stress causes alot of damage to the body. Then they add stress by making us wait to find out if we have the big C.

I'm praying for you. And I can picture you healing. God Speed.

I actually pretty much doubt I have the big c. I think it's just going to be a bunch more tests that are answered with, well we're not really sure, it's somehow related to your neurological disorder. Followed by why don't I go to Johns Hopkins from doc and family. Hundreds of miles away.I'm not always sure I'm going to make it to the bathroom a few feet away. Poor me. I sure have been feeling sorry for myself a lot lately.
Today I'm grateful for this site, where I am reminded that there are those getting through worse.

There are so many *results* that end up with "unsure, inconclusive, could be, can't rule out" and a bunch ot other platitudes that leave you just as sick/in pain as before, with the addition of frustration.

And then comes fear, the worst of all. I hope you get at least some answers and some peace of mind soon.

Hugs, Theresa