Chronic pain is, to me, the hardest thing to make people understand.

It is'nt anything that shows, like a scar or a wound, so it's hard for some to grasp what we mean when we say we hurt.

My hubby goes with me to all of my PM appts. And I'm so glad he does. It saves me trying to explain things to him.
If only your hub would go at least one time, he might understand your pain better.
My pain, thankfully, did'nt start til after I quit working. I was still active, so that's not the reason why it started, I really don't know why it did. My PM says not to stress myself out more worrying about it. It's there, so we deal with it.

I pray your hubby will at least go once with you. And I'm so sorry about your pain, I know how tough it can be.

When I was working, I started having attacks from Diverticulitis though, I think it all started after that.
You'll be in my prayers honey.
::BigHuggzz::

I am legally disable. It stinks. I wish I could work and I left the best job I ever had.

I work 40 hours a week, but I work in an office, and for the most part, I am sitting down. If your hubby won't go to the doc with you, you need to have a talk wiht him about your pain, and how it is at work. I work becuase we need the money. But my husband is very understanding if I don't cook supper,indeed, I sometimes come home and go straight to bed! because my back hurts that much. And that is okay with him, because I went to work that day. I just hope I can work long enough to pay off all the bills we have :) You could try the Mayo clinic book everyone is recommending, that may open up his eyes to what you are going through....

CHRONIC PAIN, IS HARD FOR PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND. WITHA BROKEN ARM, PEOLE SEE A CAST, AND THEY SEE YOU'RE IN PAIN. CHRONIC PAIN, PEOPLE CANT SEE OR FEEL. YOU SHOULD TRY TO HAVE HUBBY GO TO PM WITH YOU. MY DAUGHTE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND, WHY I WAS TAKING ALL THIS MEDS, UNTIL SHE WENT WITH ME, AND MY DOCTOR EXPLAINED IT TOO HER. NOW, SHE IS MORE UNDERSTANDING. THE ISSUE ABOUT WORK, IS HARD. I RECENTLY HAD TO GO ON MEDICAL LEAVE, AND IT WAS HARD. WAS ONLY WORKING 32 HOURS. MY JOB DECIDE I COULD NO LONGER
FUNCTION, WITH THE MEDS I TOOK. MY DOCTOR, HAS BEEN TRYING FOR A WHILE TO QUIT WORK, AND SLOW DOWN. SHE SAID I WAS MAKING THE PAIN WORSE BY FORCING MYSELF,
TO WORK. WHEN MY BODY WAS NO LONGER ABLE TO HANDLE IT. THERE IS NOTHING HE COULD READ, THAT WILL MAKE HIM UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH. ONE SITE, THOUGH, YOU COULD TRY IS PAIN.ORG. THATS ONE WEB SITE. GOOD LUCK, IN YOU SITUATION.
WE ARE HAVE BEEN THERE, AND SOME ARE STILL, GOING THROUGH, TRYING TO MAKE PEOLE UNDERTAND, WHAT CHROINC PAIN IS.
I HOPE THIS HELPS.
HUGS, JANE

No article can articulate properly what our lives are like in chronic pain. Please go back a page or two and read a discussion called Serious Questions and Our Answers". Print up some that you like and that best describe your life.

Going to the pain doc might not show him much. I also have written a discussion called Living with Spouses and Significant Others in Less than ideal Circumstances. You may find some truth to it.

Ouch

Also, pull up What is Chronic Pain and The Stigma of Chronic Pain. Stigma is pretty long though, and people who don't understand don't take the time to read it.

We have some wonderful discussions on here that you can back track to, copy what you feel is helpful.

I have yet to conquer explaining how I feel to any of my family. Right now, I just don't bother.

It's been 2.5 years since I have been able to work, and 5 years prior to that, I was where you are, for years, trying to work, doing the best I can, and knowing something had to change. Everything did but the pain.

There are some helpful suggestions on this page, and God bless you. Know where you at. If the reading don't help your husband, at least you can help yourself feel better about it. (smile)

Try, 12 steps to Chronic Pain also. This is how I deal with Chronic pain.

My husband really does not understand it either....but did force him to go to my last appointment...guess he will get it slowly...he does understand why I'm not working...but still pressures me every day..
that it is part of my problem...not out interacting with people and I don't have a purpose in life.....so he says...
Sorry really don't know where to find articles to print...maybe WEB MD...or going to a book store...good luck...and if you need less hours...so be it...

I have lost a couple relationships to this.The guys just couldn't understand.They thought I was lazy not in pain.I could not make them understand just how much it hurt and how hard it was to do things.They see part of the tumor sticking out and think, well you should be able to just take a pill and function, just get over it.Why don't you just get up and do what I want you to do? is one line I would hear alot.Or if you want it you go get a job and get it.Your just lazy you can't be in that much pain, i see you walk..I wish I could tell you how to explain it.I just haven't had the luck in learning how.I have a hard enough time with docs that see a tumor wrapped around my siatic nerve tell me I don't need more meds.I think that sometimes this is just a constant struggle for us.It is hard to discribe somthing like fibromyalga or croninc back or or leg or other muscle pain.Even arthitic pain is hard to describe, people just don't understand how something they cann't see can hurt so bad.I almost wish for the ability to inflict my condition on others for a day, just so they could understand what it is to try to funtion when you can barly stand up without wanting to cry.All I can do for you unfortunatly is pray that you hubby sees these posts and gos to the doc with you.I hope he dose,for your sake so he can better understand what it is like to try to do those everyday things in pain.I wish you well and send hugs and prayers your way.

i actually quit working last month .. i was down to working 4 hrs a day and finding that was to difficult.. if you feel less hours are what you need then you should do that.. your body cant take what it use to.. good luck **hugs**

Hi I know what your going thru I too suffer from chronic pain and until my last back injury at work my husband didn't understand. But then when the MD said I had degenerative disc disease w/ pinched nerves possible surgery my husband got too overprotective the thought of becoming a widower or me being paralzed scared him. He now goes to my appts(he leaves work to go). I'm in the medical field and he won't let me take on a client that involves lifting. But he also said I didn't have to work at all if I didn't want too, but I choose to. I hope this helps you but I have a suggestion ask your MD to write you a note to come to the next appt. or explaining your condition on a script.Good luck Jasmine44

I went on disability a bit over ten years ago...at aged 38. That tells you how bad my back problems were.
I found this link that another poster put up..and there is a lot of information on it. Could be you find something there that helps you. I believe there's even a "letter" to patients families.
Hope it helps...

http://www.cpmission.com/main/index.html

Thank you so much for everyones advice.

Hi! I have lived w/chronic pain for almost 10 yrs. now. I have been through the gamit: I was working full time, as an R.N. in a local hospital, in a high risk OB unit. I loved my job, had been there 10 yrs when my pain started.
I saw various different docs over the yrs, w/no real diagnosis.(This made it harder to cope w/for sure). They could say that I had nerve damage but that's it. Just last yr., I finally got a diagnosis-meralgia parasthetica. Mine is in my right leg, both feet and back.
I ended up cutting back my hrs. over the yrs., to the point that 3 yrs. ago, I quit working in the hosptial. I am blessed though bc I now work w/my parents in their business, I do office work, so I can pace myself and have less pain.
I recommend you print off info. from the internet about your type of pain, and share that w/your husband. I also recommmend the book "Mayo Clinic on Chronic Pain". I got mine @ Amazon.com, I bought a used copy which looks brand new, cost me $3! I use this book constantly! I make out a schedule for the week, as it recommends, and sometimes even have to reschedule things bc I can see I've overscheduled myself. I now see my chronic pain as a blessing bc I used to do too much(as many women tend to do), and it gave me a reason to slow down.
However, I do have a supportive husband who's always come w/me to the various docs. Part of marriage is the being there for each other part, trusting that the other needs our help. My husband has had to step in and help me w/alot more; he now vacuums, does alot of the cooking. It has been good for marriage in that respect, I used to be the type of woman who was very independent, took care of everyone else and myself too; now I realize, we all need help sometimes, and that doesn't make us weak or useless. I am finding other means to be of help to others(since I am no longer working as a nurse).
I have also developed a greater faith. I know that the Lord is holding my hand and always there to help me through life.
Well I hope some of this info. has helped you.
Oh also, I recommend you find an exercise program that works for you(this has also helped decrease my pain), a meditation type activity (I am about to start a Yoga class)(refocus our mind away from the pain), and eat a healthy diet.
God bless and I hope that your husband will come around! Know that others out there are going through the same thing and we are there for you!