I know it hurts but stay busy and focus on what your doing and not the pain. Doesn't even have to be anything big or important, your mind is the best thing for pain control. Once you realize through your activity that you don't hurt as bad you might feel up to even more. Don't let the pain beat you but please keep in mind your limitations. As for the rest, it's tough to get people who haven't gone through it to realize how bad the pain can be. Don't waste time trying to explain it as it just leads to more frustration. Sounds like you have a good support base from the sis-in-law. It's not a bad thing but everyone else's stubbed toe or cut or bruise is always (in their mind) going to hurt worse than you. No matter what and you just have to accept that and persevere. Didn't mean to sound preachy but it has served me well for over 20yrs now. Take care of yourself.

right now what my hubby doesnt understand is i do a lot on my laptop because it also works as a great heating pad. i think they think i look fine so why would i hurt

I am so sorry you are in so much pain. My daughter has had ic/endo/fibro for 4 yrs. She has been in bed all of those yrs. But my real point is she looks healthy so when I take her out(which isn't often) she is in her wheel-chair. Sometimes people say rude things about seeing her sitting in a wheel-chair and she doesn't look sick. Then she starts to cry and of course my mom claws' come out. Don't talk about my daughter. I do know what you mean about when you look healthy people just think you are. I hope you are feeling better. All of those female problems are hard to diagnose and treat. But keep seeking the answers. God bless you.

its very hard not to get down on the pain for me because i used to run 6 miles a day and now i can barely walk for 10 minutes. my hubby also used to get mad at me for being in pain because it limits what we could do as a couple. i had many many fights with him about my pain because he just didnt understand. i got so sick of trying to explain my pain to my family and friends and trying to make excuses. now i dont really try to explain it. my family and i dont talk about it and i sat my husband down and explained to him that this is a permanent adjustment he will have to make and if he was not here to support me through "for better or for worse" then i would move out until he decided he would. i explained to him the extent of my injuries and what treatment i have to do and even invited him to a few doctors visits. he is much more understanding and it helps me cope a lot better. i try to stay strong through this whole ordeal. sometimes it doesnt work but i just get back up and keep going.

I use prayer a lot and a positive attitude that there is a root cause and I am going to find it if I have to go through a lot of doctors on the way. I am raising three children and have a gran daughter at home. I have gone from being a graduate with a AAS-CIS and a BS-IT and working full time to a get work when and where you can. Losin my home, losing my car, and being evicted twice, but I am still determined I can make things better for me and my family.

I pray to the good Lord when my pain is so bad I can no longer move to do what I need to do, like drive home from work. OR, get going in the morning.

I have started logging with a journal everything that goes into my mouth and sometimes the stress if the day to determine what is causing the pain. I have dropped all meds. Really not a good idea for anyone, but I can not tell how much I hurt if I mask it everyday. I take Xtra strength Tylenol when I can no longer tolerate the pain. Most may say, "you can't live like that or you don't have much pain then". Well, not so. I have pain, I just choose to feel it for now and learn how to change my lifestyle and be rid of this. I do a lot of research and follow certain works of various doctors learning what new development is being brought out. But, most of all I don't give up hope that I will be able to use the degrees I have accomplished and complete the two I am yet to complete. My goal is to complete my Doctorate befor I pass. My goal used to be within 5 yearss. That has become unrealistic as the brain fog has slowed me down. Honestly, Idon't think anyone will understand your pain except those that are experienceing the same type of thing, so it is often you use trying to explain. Two of my children at home are aged 20 and 21. Granted they should be out, but even they do not understand how mom cannot do what mom used to do. I am a single mother. Best to you. Ihope that helped, I am just thinking off the top of my head as I don't have much control over the brain fog this month and my typing is terrible due to that also. Best to you.

I am sorry for what you are going through. I know just how it is when they see you and you look normal and just dont know how the pain can be how you say. I am 5 weeks out of anterior/posterior surgery with a fusion and i have a handicapped liscense and lately i have been parking up frontand i waited yesterday for a spot like 2 or 3 minutes and an older man gave me the worst look like why should i be parking there he needs it more but like oyu said they just dont know. And i can not walk alot so i still rarely get out but not alot when i do. I know after what i have just been through i shouldnt care to much but like going to wal mart i will not use the motorized carts cause i dont want to have to deal with all the comments made so i deal with the pai later. Hubby knows and is great he understands but i try to not grripe to him all the time.

I wish you luck!

I am so sorry that the one's around you cannot understand your pain. I am very lucky that my husband has been with me right from the start of this mess. He went to every appt. and test with me. I can't imagine what it would be like without his support. My children are grown but they still don't realize the severity of pain that I have. It could just be denial on thier part. As for getting through the day I do small chores one at a time and take breaks in between. I've had to learn my limitations. Its hard not to get frustrated or bored. My advice would be to try to get your husband to go to a few Doctors appt's with you and maybe that would help him understand. Good luck.

i am sorry that you have to justify your pain to your family i dont know what i would do if my family didnt support me, i dont know if i would care, they dont have to live with it you do so dont be ashamed that you are taking pain killers because then it becomes a negative to yourself and people can sense that and they will feed off that if you let them, dont let them

hold your head up high you are doing nothing wrong dont forget that if people have a hard time understanding then that is their problem not yours

my hubby isnt supportive either, it seesm ,like he's mad at me all the time, I cany take it!I said if you dont say or do something nice imgonna lose it!

I use to stay depressed because of the losses I have endured due to pain. I moped all the time and was miserable. However, my husband was truly great and I don't know what I would of done if not for his helping me. I have been up and down with it with my mother. One day she would be supportive and the next she would be telling me to just work through it. Yeah, right! I did "work through it for years", I did not get to where I am now overnight. I have lived with pain for right at 30 years, just a few months off. I was 15 when I was injured. For the first 13 years it was not so bad, and then I got Fibro on top of it. That was so much worse. I didn't know what to do or how to handle it. I just went to bed and stayed there for the most part. Then I slowly, as I could eventually get up in the mornings without the cane, would do a little at a time until I was doing more. I was still not well but coping. A weird thing, I am also bipolar, when manic the pain would be non-existent, until I would come to a standstill. I really liked my manias, lol. But, I had to start taking my meds and it has been sucky since, but hubby and son are happier with me on them :).

Then came the time in my life when things were not really good at all. I contracted TB and got really ill. For six months I was not able to do much of anything. Being that way for so long it was hard to bounce back and grin and bare through the pain anymore. My mother and my hubby kept trying to get me to request a home worker to help me. I stood my ground for a while but they broke me down and I gave in. I wish I could take that decision back. It was my downfall. Once I gave in and let someone start taking care of me and my duties it became easier for me to spend my time avoiding pain. The more they did the less I did. I became more disabled due to this. I am in a very bad way now. If I could go back I would keep grinning through the pain and not let it beat me.

Boy, I ventured off subject. Sorry, I do tend to post long posts. I understand those who never get through reading them, lol.

I will pray for you that your family, husband and all those around you have the blinders removed from their eyes and will be able to see what you are going through. So there will be a large support system around you.

Love in Christ,
Teressa