I had an appt with my CP doc today and I was so nervous about talking to them about my increased pain and lack of sleep. I felt like I'd failed b/c this new doctor took me on after my doc died, and has been very good to me. He kept me on same medication, just switched the long and short acing. And for a year, or so, it worked. Then, it didn't. I was only taking 30mg a day less than on my old plan and for a year it worked!

Today I was treated like every CP patient deserves. I was listened to! I was sympathized with, and told that I'm brave! I was patted on the back for continuing to work (though they don't expect that, of course) and for staying positive. I think they KNOW that I'll do anything they suggest (unless it involves needles as I'm SEVERELY needle phobic. I had turned down a medication change to a stronger pain med and rarely complained. But today, the flood gates burst and I couldn't hide my red eyes, my cold, sweaty foot and leg, and my exhaustion.

When I was asked what I thought would help, I said that I had finally taken their advice from last year and taken an extra half pill for this pain. I told them I couldn't get over the pain and the difference was helping me and brought my levels down. I think they thought I had been doing this when flaring, b/c they appeared surprised. They were so kind, so compassionate! They adjusted my meds and told me to never worry about telling them what's going on.

Then, as I was getting ready to leave, I handed the scrip from last month for Lunesta to the PA and explained I'd tried the samples (which were a higher strength) and I didn't need to fill it. She sat back down and asked me what worked for me. I had heard rumors that my doctor didn't like Ambien so I felt bad saying that it had worked for me with my last doctor. She said the doc prefers Lunesta but with all I'd been through, she gave me a scrip for Ambien.

"Everyone is different, everyone responds to meds differently," she said. I saw the Doc again in the hallway and he was so sweet! What made me almost cry was how determined they were to help my pain and help me sleep! I didn't have to break any rules and already the added pill is making a difference. I don't think I'm set for life, but honestly, I haven't felt THIS taken care of and cared FOR since my old doctor died.

So while I'm basically allowed to take the same amount of meds (in different forms) that I did when seeing my old doctor, I'm not going to push it. I'll take only what I need, as usual, and pray that this is temporary.

I am so relieved! I'm craving a full night's sleep and hoping this med works for me as well as it used to. It's sure been awhile since I took one. I'm ready to give it a try!

What a difference a day makes!! And what a great doc and PA. They just CARE so much it astounds me sometimes. They don't fake it. They follow all the rules and laws and still manage to help people. There are angels walking among us, and today I felt like I was among them.

Happy Day! :)