dont let anyone tell you what you are or arent. The fact is when we take pain meds our bodies get used to them and yes there is some type of addiction. HOWEVER, you are not an addict. If you were taking them for any reason other than that you need them, to me, that defines addiction. You ahve to do what you have to do to get yourself out of pain and no-one has the right to judge you. You have a legitimate reason to take meds and you should not let anyone much less yourself beat you up for it. We're all with you.

You poor thing!!! You are just under so much stress lately and now this!!! Beatle is right! People don't know the facts and some don't want to learn! We all go through this stuff to some degree because people aren't aren't informed and there is such a stigma regarding this whole pain med thing!! It just makes me so angry that one more person in pain has to go through the fear of being labeled when they already have so much to deal with! You are NOT an ADDICT! Yes, you are dependent on drugs, but the same way anyone else with a medical condition is dependent on medication. You can't function properly without it. You're not taking it for recreational purposes! Plus, there are a lot of meds that you have to wean off of that aren't pain meds. You're not alone, we all are here for you so come here when you need to vent or need understanding. There are too many people out there who feel the need to give "advice" or pass judgement about something they have never had to live with. Lots of hugs, Peggy

I thought you said once that your husband is in the medical field, he should know the difference for sure. and if he doesnt just because he said it is, doesnt make it so.

You need to take care of you at the end of the day to make yourself happy. So if right now you need something for the pain then you should without worrying what others think

take care, and be happy--- and make that doctor listen to you.

hugs

The fentynl patches must be moved to a different spot every time you change them. I use my on my back and go up and down and side to side. Recently I too have started getting welts when they are removed. I can't see them, but my son says so when he changes them. He has started using alcohol to clean the area after he removes one and then he uses Clinque lotion on the area. By the next morning it is cleared up. I am going to the PC today for a refill. I will ask the Dr. what else can be done to stop this - I'll let you know.

I agree with everyone else, you are NOT addicted. Our chronic pain needs meds to control our state of health just like diabetes or any other chronic condition.

Your husband often makes negative comments to you regarding your health. I'm sorry but he is starting to sound like he is emotionally abusing you. Your self-esteem is suffering from his constant negativity. Why is he acting this way? What is his real problem with you being in chronic pain and NEEDING, not wanting, meds to relieve some of it?

Hi there,
It sounds like you've been going through soooooo much lately - Please know that I'm very very sorry! Listen - you've already gotten some good advice about one way to apply subsequent patches without getting irritation. Maybe you should try that.

I know you have very strong feelings about your hubby. In fact, he always seems to be at the center of the emotional ordeals you've been going through. It's obvious that you listen to him and take his words very seriously. HOWEVER, your hubby is MISINFORMED, as so many people are. You should get him informed - maybe by finding an article on the internet which explains that, according to the research that's been done, pain patients almost never become addicted to pain meds - they take them for a purpose and would rather not have to take them at all! The research does show that, as with many medications, tolerance and dependence does develop. I know you already tried to tell him this, but if you haven't already, please show him this information from an authoritative source. If he will not listen to that, then he is being completely unreasonable and - frankly - cruel towards you. Perhaps he resents your illness and the fact that you must take pain meds, and this (telling you you're "addicted", etc.) is how he lets out his aggravation. But it's HURTING YOU, and I'm so sorry you're in this position. Your fear of being labeled by him and others is preventing you from taking a medication that is helping you and is making you go through what is probably a completely unnecessary withdrawal!!! The skin irritation may not even be an issue if you take the advice you've gotten about repositioning the patches, etc.
As far as talking to your doctor - I'd say that depends on what kind of relationship you have with them, which doesn't sound all that great. If you had an awesome relationship with no problems getting the meds you need, then maybe you could voice your concerns. BUT as I said, your hubby is misinformed, and - from what you've said - you're not addicted - so why bring it up with your doctor? Since your relationship with your doc doesn't sound so good (doesn't listen, etc.), I would not bring it up at all. You don't want to raise a completely unwarranted "addiction flag."

I'm here for you if you want to talk. I know so well what it's like to feel alone with my pain - trapped around people who just don't get it - who really can't get it. I really care about what happens to you! Let me reiterate - don't let an addiction that doesn't exist come between you and pain relief!!! For a while you've sounded like you're struggling with your relationship, and this post is no exception, but realize that the less adequate pain relief you have the less strength you're going to have to work on a healthy relationship or even put up with a bad one.

With lots of caring,
Orchid

Hugs thankyou guys for all your kind words I have some of that clinique lotion somewhere it is old but I will try that. Ya I was using mine on my tummy moving it up and down and all around. Now it is on my arm and it isnt as itchy not even red yet so maybe that is a good sign. I think I came to terms a couple months ago that my body was dependent on the medications for my pain.

My hubby makes me angry but it is hard for me to communicate that. We are going to start going to counseling together and he still needs to come to the dr with me!! Been since June that we found out what was causing me so much pain and he hasnt shown. My counselor has told me so many times to take a seperation from him but I get that when he goes on his long shifts for like 72 hours at a time. She has told me he is being emotionally abusive and has even wondered if me being with him is healthy for me. The way I see it if I was on the outside of my marriage looking in I would say leave him. But right now emotionally for me I cant I really cant because I feel lso damaged by my pain and the weight and just dealing day to day. Idont see how anyone else would want me. That is part of my depression though and what he has caused me by this pain. I dont know what is going on with him or why he started being this way he never acted this way before I got sick. He actually used to take really good care of me when I was ill. Im afraid of judgement I get a lot of it from my family to get it from him heck it was just too much. Thank you guys for being there and listening Im just so lost lately and I thought for that brief moment things were getting better between hubby and I. My biggest problem which my counselor nor I understand right now is why I put everyone elses feelings of me first. I try to please others wayy to much. But I will try better. Im going to nap today is not good and sitting is just horrible right now. I will try what you guys said about the patch. Im thinking that my arm does not have enough meat on it to give me the right amount of medicaiton I need so at least next time I know. I will try my back next i think. thank you guys.

I'm on the patch and i get a red mark under where the patch has being.
I went on the website and it said it's apart of the side effect.
I told my doctor about this and he gave me cream that took the red mark away staright away, which was great.
I use this cream everytime i take the patch off.

I feel like most people who don't have chronic pain have a hard time sympathizing or understanding the situation. It makes it worse when it is your spouse. I know mine only wants me to be phsically normal like his friends wives. He tries to be understanding and a lot of the time says the wrong things that he has to apologize for. I try not to tell him too much and handle most things myself. It's a dilema....

I talked to my PC dr. yesterday about the red spots and he said to check with the pharmatist, because there are many different generic brands. Changing brands might work with the red spots. I can't do that this month as once again my normal pharmacy was out. I went to pick it up after the appointment and the price was $387.00. I almost died...They said it was because it was a new year and it's going towards my deductible. I'm trying to scrounge up the money today. I don't know if I can or not. I've gotten myself into a hole because of Christmas and wasn't expecting this...

I hope your husband will go to counseling with you, if he refuses he's not invested in staying in the marriage. Please take care of yourself first. It does take some of the stress away and the pain. Many people do get remarried who are in chronic pain. Don't sell yourself short, you have a lot to offer.

I'm sorry, but your husband sounds like a complete arse. BE SURE IN WHAT YOU KNOW. You know about dependence, tolerance, and that these can bring about withdrawls but THAT DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE ADDICTED. Pain meds were created for POSITIVE reasons. So what *some* people abuse them? YOU DON'T and you are taking them for the original reason they were invented: TO HELP WITH PAIN!!! If he doesn't what to listen, does that make you wrong?!?!?!? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Be sure in what you know and don't let an ignorant, egotistical person make you question yourself. I've said it before, but I think the likes the control he has over you and your emotions.

Here is a link, my hypothesis is that you will see your relationship painted out in this link: http://www.newdirectionsshelter.org/redflags.php

Please check out that link. It helped me so much when I saw it. REREAD IT SEVERAL TIMES A DAY!!! I agree with your counselor. I'm great at making excuses for the way other people treat me and behave, but I made a choice very recently, to stop this as best I can. Helping yourself to be stronger and gaining a 'take no shit' kind of attitude is an awesome thing! I'm happy you go to counseling. Your counselor sounds intelligent. I started going due to pain, but he's been there to help me through other issues too.

I'm not going to suggest you leave him (even though I really, really want to) but what I will suggest is that you stand up for yourself and don't let anyone taint your mind. Please take a close look at your relationship after reading the link I've posted. Once I read that, I was shocked at the fact that every one of my relationships has had some form of abuse. Not anymore, since I now know what to look for. Please read the link!!!

I hope the info from others about the patch helps. I think there might be other posts that list a ton of ways to stop skin irritation, but I'm not sure how to find them. I'd ask the doc what the safest way is to stop the irritation, because I know some things can cause more med to get into your system. BUT there are things you can do to stop the irritation. Don't stop taking meds that help because of what others think. You don't deserve that.

Much love and positive energy,
Lisa

My ex is the same way. I'd talk to my doctor about lowering the dose or changing what you are on IF IT BOTHERS YOU. I have detoxed off of the fentanyl patch and several other. Tolerance will cause withdrawal, but that does no mean your addicted. Chronic pain patients may need help withdrawing, but usually don't need the same level of care addicts do. By that, I mean, no treatment, meetings etc.

If changing the area of your patch helps and you are comfortable with it, put it somewhere new and do what you need for yourself.

my hubby makes similar comments, i said dont use the word addicted again around me, yes iam dependent, not using pain meds to get high! Dont be hard on yourself!

If your husband isnt showing up at your counseling, that should tell you something. Even though you might want to keep him in your life there are certain people you need to emotionally amputate parts of yourself from. What I mean by that is use us, your friends that understand and keep the pain issues out of the relationship. My second marriage fell apart due to a few things. One, I was taking pain meds when there was no diagnosis for Fibro and Docs didnt know what was going on with me so he thought I was doing it to get high; and the fact that he was on tour all the time. So he was absent is more ways than one. WE remain friends, but he just didnt get it. Not until years later when I ran into him at a show and explained these diseases (when they figured out what it was) did he get it but by then it was too late. I dont regret leaving him, you need people around you that understand. MAybe you should just find a counsler for yourself to deal with the issues that he's putting on you. I hope you feel better.

And not to scare anyone, but wasnt there a recall on those fentnyal patches?

My doc prescribed FLONASE spray for the breakouts from the fentenyl patch. Just spray it on the area you are going to put the patch, let it dry and then no more red spots or itchies! It works great and all it is is an allergy spray.

Melissa