Chronic Pain Support Group
Physicians and professionalsdefine pain as chronic if it lasts longer than three to six months and is persistent. It's distinct from acute pain that is a direct result of injury or trauma. This support group is dedicated to those suffering from chronic pain. Discuss treatments that have worked for you, find advice for your specific experience, and find support. You're not...
Pretty concise topic title.
We talk a lot about the stages of grief as they apply to the losses in life with CP.
..We don't talk much about... fear.
.. For some ( me) .. it could be some of the pain issues are related to health issues that can cause fear of death.
For others ( me) .. it can be the fear of pain going on and on.. and/or worsening... and, possible disability because of it. Loss of dependence......
In other words.. the fear of living. With pain.
Fear that.. that next move will leave you in agony indefinitely.
...that ... you'll embarrass yourself crying out in pain that catches you off guard in public.
That.. this is how you will be remembered.. rather than the " real " you before/beneath the pain.
I have auttoimmune disorders that can cause my body to perceive itself as an enemy. I have severe osteopirosis.. that can leave me broken without ever leaving the couch. I have cardio problems and pulmonary problems.
Those are the health.. not pain.. issues ( though some contribute to or cause pain.
The CP conditions list.. is longer. And as frightening.
How bad will it get? How much can you bear?
You know.. all those CP questions.
I have. Fear. Sometimes FEAR.
The ONLY way in which my husband doesn't make my life easier..
Is his inability/unwillingness..
To face those valid fears.
..Which leaves me alone with them.
EXCEPT that some of you... GET it.
So..
Would you like to..
Would it help to..
Do you NEED to...
I invite you to..
Talk about your fear/s.
Hugs
jc
We talk a lot about the stages of grief as they apply to the losses in life with CP.
..We don't talk much about... fear.
.. For some ( me) .. it could be some of the pain issues are related to health issues that can cause fear of death.
For others ( me) .. it can be the fear of pain going on and on.. and/or worsening... and, possible disability because of it. Loss of dependence......
In other words.. the fear of living. With pain.
Fear that.. that next move will leave you in agony indefinitely.
...that ... you'll embarrass yourself crying out in pain that catches you off guard in public.
That.. this is how you will be remembered.. rather than the " real " you before/beneath the pain.
I have auttoimmune disorders that can cause my body to perceive itself as an enemy. I have severe osteopirosis.. that can leave me broken without ever leaving the couch. I have cardio problems and pulmonary problems.
Those are the health.. not pain.. issues ( though some contribute to or cause pain.
The CP conditions list.. is longer. And as frightening.
How bad will it get? How much can you bear?
You know.. all those CP questions.
I have. Fear. Sometimes FEAR.
The ONLY way in which my husband doesn't make my life easier..
Is his inability/unwillingness..
To face those valid fears.
..Which leaves me alone with them.
EXCEPT that some of you... GET it.
So..
Would you like to..
Would it help to..
Do you NEED to...
I invite you to..
Talk about your fear/s.
Hugs
jc
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Can you identify these rom-coms from just a screenshot from the middle of the films? This is a multiple choice quiz so even if you're not entirely sure you can always take a guess and at least have a 25% chance of getting it right anyway, so why not have a go?! https://www.buzzfeed.com/alysaurus688/rom-com-screenshot-trivia-quiz
So yes I get it!
Hugggss
Jasmine
I've writen 3 responcesis
Deleted them,
Don't know where to start
Afraid of where it might end
I wish that I saw a good end to my tour
However with this heart
I'm aware of my mortality
I guess this is as far as I go this evening
Peace all
Michael
Time is so precious I try not to allow fear, anger and hatred waste any of the moments i have left. The key word there is "try".
My fears that I try to contain are knowing that my body and mind will progressively deteriorate. If I live long enough, I will become paralyzed to some extent. I may lose my ability to communicate. I will need help. I have hit that stage to a point now and I hate having to ask anyone to help me. I do not have family jumping up and down to help me, it is a burden for them to do anything. I just pray that I fall asleep and forget to wake up before I become in need of full time care.
I feel ya on that fear with all the spine surgeries you've had.
When I had a couple of cervical fusions about a million yrs ago..
That was the thing I feared most ( even though it's extremely unlikely just from fusion surgery) I can only imagine how frightening it would be to know that a fall or a tap from another car could cause that.
Hugs
Thanks for sharing,MrBill.
Michael..
I'm sure you must be all too familiar with what I'm talking about.. given your cardio history.. and ongoing condition/s
Mortality.
Mostly.... I can push back that fear with knowing..
That's how everyone's story ends.
When that chest pain comes, though..
Yeh... scary stuff Bud. Vent as needed, my friend.
Angela..
Yes, yes, and yes.
Maybe not that last bit, though..
I guess it would depend on what that future is
Thanks for your honesty
Rj..
I " get" ... and, am with you in..
Preferring an endless nap to complete dependence on others.
..mostly because I don't want my family stuck any further into Caretaker positions than they already are. I do wish your family was at least leaning into..if not " jumping up and down to " help you.
I think you've earned that.
Anyway.. hugs
Hugs, all
jc
"Nothing we do will change the outcome"
"you need to learn to live with this"
" Its progressive, and will get worse"
"This condition is caused by another worse condition"
"Eventually you will need assistance, you should plan for that"
"No telling how long you have"
"I suggest you take advantage of what you do have"
"None but a coward dares to boast that he has never known fear"- Ferdinand Foch
and my favorite:
"Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less" -Marie Curie
Great subject!! My 2 cents.
~Take Care, hope you all have a good day.
Jnufish
I'm like Michael - started a few replies but deleted them.
I have fear of my own issues - pain, financial, relationships, quality etc. I have huge fear of a 'nerve attack' in public. My body collapses on the floor and makes me scream in pain. It's like someone has hold of my sciatic nerve at each end and they pull and push and twist it hard. So that is not fun and I have been "lucky" so far.
Fear of doing everything right and it still going wrong and backwards. Fear of the medical world getting things wrong and mis diagnosis / surgery.
Fear for my Mum and that I won't be able to take care of her properly. I can't ask her to help me and there is no one else. I have no expectations of family or friends anymore. I know they will never get it. (that does not include the amazing people in this group)
The fear is there but I cannot afford to let it in all the time. I have to push it away and allow myself to push on and be strong when I can.
Because I didn't want Ness a or Jnu to think I didn't pay attention to every response.
Thank you for sharing.
Jnu.. do you suppose Madam Currie still felt that way as she died from radiation poisoning?
Ness a.
Yeh..I tend to " pull out the big guns " once in a while :-)
... the common denominator here isn't what we'll wear to the cottilion :-)
Hahaha
Thanks you, everyone. For sharing on this hard topic
Hugs
jc
Scared to live with illness & pain. But more scared to die. I try not to dwell on it too much. But your mortality certainly becomes an issue when you become dependant on a machine to live.