I have heard quite a few people are having problems posting. Their posts are just disappearing.

What you expressed is valid and should not be censored. I am sorry you feel so badly. You sound extremely depressed. I am also. Please know that we care. You are in the right place. I get just as frustrated that a post I worked on carefully just disappears. I don't feel like writing it again.

You are in my prayers. Many HUGS!!!

Hi, I think where you are at is common for intractable chronic pain. Vent away!
I would talk to your Doctor about antidepressants, constant pain literally depletes serotonin levels in the brain! You are not alone .....
Posts do keep disappearing ....very frustrating....when you feel up to it, try to share how you got to feeling so low. I think after the silly season, so many are exhausted from doing to much.
Be kind to yourself! This dat too shall pass...;)

Hi, I think where you are at is common for intractable chronic pain. Vent away!
I would talk to your Doctor about antidepressants, constant pain literally depletes serotonin levels in the brain! You are not alone .....
Posts do keep disappearing ....very frustrating....when you feel up to it, try to share how you got to feeling so low. I think after the silly season, so many are exhausted from doing to much.
Be kind to yourself! This dat too shall pass...;)

Hi, I think where you are at is common for intractable chronic pain. Vent away!
I would talk to your Doctor about antidepressants, constant pain literally depletes serotonin levels in the brain! You are not alone .....
Posts do keep disappearing ....very frustrating....when you feel up to it, try to share how you got to feeling so low. I think after the silly season, so many are exhausted from doing to much.
Be kind to yourself! This dat too shall pass...;)

All I can say is that if you say 'I don't feel like going on'...it's not a suicide plan. Now if you say you are going to kill yourself or you have a weapon and feel like using it...that would definitely be an issue for medical intervention. That is the answer from a psychologist I went to. I said I FELT like it but wasn't going to. He said that was OK to express. If I'd said anything else or had a plan...that would require him/her to take action. Makes sense I believe.
I've had pain so bad that I prayed for God to take me PLEASE!!!! He didn't of course. I got better meds and my RFA's and eventually
felt glad I hadn't killed myself. I seriously thought about it. But have lived long enough to know that no matter how bad things get, that they can and do eventually turn around. That gave me hope. And I'm a Christian...don't think it's in the bible but in my heart I don't feel certain that I'd be ok doing that....and forever IS forever....so......I held on and I'm so glad I did. Think back about other bad times. They did get better....so have hope while trying to get help with what is bothering you...a new doc for pain relief, a new procedure like RFA's, there are always ways I found that helped. I'm not saying I'll always be able to stand the bad times. But I take one day at a time. Remember...you can always do it later....that makes you feel in control of yourself and the situation. I saw a poster...it said 'You can always do it later....sleep on it...talk to someone about it...' something like that. I lost someone dear to me and I wish they had just waited awhile longer...things did get better. Too late for her though. She didn't wait.

Hi, I think where you are at is common for intractable chronic pain. Vent away!
I would talk to your Doctor about antidepressants, constant pain literally depletes serotonin levels in the brain! You are not alone .....
Posts do keep disappearing ....very frustrating....when you feel up to it, try to share how you got to feeling so low. I think after the silly season, so many are exhausted from doing to much.
Be kind to yourself! This dat too shall pass...;)

All I can say is that if you say 'I don't feel like going on'...it's not a suicide plan. Now if you say you are going to kill yourself or you have a weapon and feel like using it...that would definitely be an issue for medical intervention. That is the answer from a psychologist I went to. I said I FELT like it but wasn't going to. He said that was OK to express. If I'd said anything else or had a plan...that would require him/her to take action. Makes sense I believe.
I've had pain so bad that I prayed for God to take me PLEASE!!!! He didn't of course. I got better meds and my RFA's and eventually
felt glad I hadn't killed myself. I seriously thought about it. But have lived long enough to know that no matter how bad things get, that they can and do eventually turn around. That gave me hope. And I'm a Christian...don't think it's in the bible but in my heart I don't feel certain that I'd be ok doing that....and forever IS forever....so......I held on and I'm so glad I did. Think back about other bad times. They did get better....so have hope while trying to get help with what is bothering you...a new doc for pain relief, a new procedure like RFA's, there are always ways I found that helped. I'm not saying I'll always be able to stand the bad times. But I take one day at a time. Remember...you can always do it later....that makes you feel in control of yourself and the situation. I saw a poster...it said 'You can always do it later....sleep on it...talk to someone about it...' something like that. I lost someone dear to me and I wish they had just waited awhile longer...things did get better. Too late for her though. She didn't wait.

Hi, I think where you are at is common for intractable chronic pain. Vent away!
I would talk to your Doctor about antidepressants, constant pain literally depletes serotonin levels in the brain! You are not alone .....
Posts do keep disappearing ....very frustrating....when you feel up to it, try to share how you got to feeling so low. I think after the silly season, so many are exhausted from doing to much.
Be kind to yourself! This dat too shall pass...;)

Hi, I think where you are at is common for intractable chronic pain. Vent away!
I would talk to your Doctor about antidepressants, constant pain literally depletes serotonin levels in the brain! You are not alone .....
Posts do keep disappearing ....very frustrating....when you feel up to it, try to share how you got to feeling so low. I think after the silly season, so many are exhausted from doing to much.
Be kind to yourself! This dat too shall pass...;)

Hi, I think where you are at is common for intractable chronic pain. Vent away!
I would talk to your Doctor about antidepressants, constant pain literally depletes serotonin levels in the brain! You are not alone .....
Posts do keep disappearing ....very frustrating....when you feel up to it, try to share how you got to feeling so low. I think after the silly season, so many are exhausted from doing to much.
Be kind to yourself! This dat too shall pass...;)

As you see, honey, DS goes crazy sometimes and displays a post multiple times. It's usually resolved in a couple of days, unlike chronic pain.

Posts like yours come up at least weekly--sad but true. Our members know that we all understand the feeling of "I CANNOT TAKE THIS ONE MORE MINUTE!!"

And God, if I could only actually help someone, take their pain away--but I can't. I can offer a shoulder and a listening ear, we all can. We're here, and we understand.

Can you go to the er? We usually don't recommend that for CPers, cuz sometimes the er treats us like drug seekers, esp. if you've been there before. But in your condition, it might be the best place for you tonite.

Keep us updated on how you're doing. Even in the middle of the night, there's usually someone here.

Hugs, and please hang on,
Theresa--I'd offer you my phone #, but I don't want to intrude or be pushy. If you do want it, post a response and I'll be happy to give it to you.

I make the decision to live or die daily. Intractable pain is already shortening my life. Knowing that there's no cure and without pain management my blood pressure will cause a stroke or heart attack. My pulse will race the pain will cause so much stress on my body it will kill me. I hate living this way all doped up.

I do have a choice. I can take my meds on time and reduce my pain from a constant 8 to 10 down to a 3 to 6 range. Lately I haven't been able to get below a 4. I'm not me anymore.

I can't do much of anything without tendon pain. Tendons attach muscle to bone. Your whole body head to toe has tendons. My tendons have a mind all their own. They are stretching, losing elasticity and tearing somedays. They also can tighten up and get real stiff which can cause them to rupture and cause dislocation at all my joints. The only thing my pain dr. knows for sure is my immune system is destroying my tendons and now my bones with DDD, my bladder with IC and osteoarthritis has started in on my hips & knees.

I do not know what the future holds for me. I don't have anyone to take care of me when I can't walk, shower, feed myself, get dressed, brush my hair and teeth etc.. I made the decision this morning to live through all this crap because who's gonna take care of my dogs, most importantly right now is who is gonna take care of my dad? And my best friend in this world wouldn't understand why gramma didn't want to see her and ended my life. I'm not a burden yet so I still choose to live.

This is depressing. I hope you continue living and fighting through the pain in your body that seems so overwhelming. I'd like to help you and get to know you better.

The only things the er could (and would) offer me are more meds,which I seem to have more than enough of as they seriously add to my depression, or a trip to the nut house. I'm not alone, my husband is here. He sent me the most beautiful flowers today for no reason other than to say he loves me, and I returned the kindness by telling him I'm ready to give up.

I understand completely. I feel that way all the time. It's not a suicide thing for me though. I know I would never act on it. I just feel like quitting a lot of days. Some days I feel like people would be better off without me. I feel like such a waste of life most days. I hate it. Plus being in pain all day, everyday tends to make you a wee bit grouchy! Which I think is fair!! If I didn't have pain, I would NEVER think like that. If you ever need to chat feel free to add me! :) gentle hugs!!