I'm so sorry for your loss and that it's adding to your pain. I'm sure your angel feels your love.

I am so sorry for your loss. Dwelling 24/7 every day would not be healthy but I cannot imagine not feeling the loss again each anniversary on some level. Try to give yourself a break on this and maybe you will feel a bit better. Hugs.

I'm so sorry for your loss! I can't imagine losing a baby. And then having to deal with chronic pain every day, it certainly takes a toll.

My situation was a little different, I lost my husband 17 years ago while I was 7 months pregnant. It does take a toll on some of us.
Big hugs!

Pain is pain. I think that there is nothing wrong with you having these awful anniversary dates affect you. I wish you well.

As far as this mental trauma contributing to your physical pain, I've heard sress is not good for CP, not sure, but I am truly sorry for your situation. It must be tough.

Hang in there and thank you for sharing your story.

David.

You know how I feel about your baby boy, Jen. I told you earlier! So sorry for your loss. I know how it feels, believe me. Nothing can ever fill that void left in your heart. (((((hugs)))))))))

Oh, and I absolutely believe that emotional pain can manifest as physical pain. Exacerbate already chronic pain, too. Just like stress, lack of sleep. Problem is that it's a huge vicious cycle.

((((Hugs))))))) my friend.

God Bless u! I am sooooooooo sorry for your loss... I can empathize with you. Any loss can be very traumatic and i feel for you! When I was 6 yrs. old my father shot and killed my mother and himself right in front of me.... I am now 55 and it still bothers me from time to time... They say time heals all wounds but it only becomes less of an emotional problem. MAY YOUR BABY REST IN PEACE! Randy

Dear Thaligjen, i am so sorry for the pain you are in. I lost 2 of my babies that way but i was not that far along as you. I can't help thinking what could have been. I don't know if these kind of things can make pain worse or do we just notice it more. Again iam so sorry.

I don't think we ever "get over" great sorrow and loss. We just get through it. Last Sat. was the 2nd anniversary of my baby brother's death. He was only 8 days older than my son and in many ways, like a son to me. He suffered terribly, particularly the last year of his life. Do I mark the anniversary and grieve, Yes, last yr (year 1) I planted a tree in his honor. I may plant another this week (was too wet last week). I do think a symbolic action helps a little. And yes, emotional/mental pain certainly has an effect on my physical pain!
Gentle and healing hugs to you.

Well your relatives are idiots, sorry. You should think of this date and remember it was your child and I am sure the pain in your heart is spreading out throughout your body.

You need to do what ever it is to get through this day, I am so sorry that you are having a sad/painful day. I can not imagine what you are going through so I can not give you any suggestions on how you should feel. I just wanted you to know that we are here for you.

Yes on all fronts...situational depression will amplify pain and grieving the loss if a child is indelible and forever. As emotionally painful as it is, the only thing I can think if that would be worse would be if the grief and memory went away...I know that sounds contradictory, but I think you will know what I mean by it

Thank you all. It was a hard day that became a hard night and now is a difficult weekend. I always get a little blue around this time of year, ever since we lost Jacob right before Easter. Before Jaden was born, I wouldn't go or do anything for the holiday b/c it hurt too much to not have a baby of my own running around. It hurt not to have Jacob. And while I LOVED watching Jaden's 1st Easter last year with his cousins and look forward to this year, I STILL imagine Jacob doing all the same things. And I agree, it would be worse to not have that memory.

A Very Special Night

Twas in a dream I saw your face
and held you close to me
Your tiny hands curled 'round mine
Your blue eyes watching me.

Upon my lap you laughed and sang,
And clapped your hands with glee,
You told me tales of angels then
Of great love, felt, not seen.

For one night I held you dear
And delighted in your grin,
I watched you dance with loving eyes
And felt the light within.

Too short it was, our time that night,
I told you as I cried,
Why can't I stay and be with you?
You said simply, "You've not died."

"But Mommy, you now know so well
The place that I call home
You know I'm in God's strong hands
And never am I alone!"

"Go back," you said, smiling sweet,
Return to those below.
Remember me to them and please,
Tell them what you know."

"Explain that I was needed here,
For God so loves me dear,
And you, Mommy, He loves you, too,
That is why he brought you here!"

"And when the time is truly right,
We will all be together again.
As angels we will reunite,
And feel God's love within.

"Until that time, Mommy Dear,
Don't worry about your son,
I live within God's love and light,
As I watch over our loved ones."

I saw you then, wave at me,
As you flew above
And to my delight I saw, with you,
All the others I had loved.

One big group of love so pure,
my soul began to soar,
So grateful, I that God loved me dear,
And let me see you once more.

I've tried many times to find that place,
Where you live within the light,
But my dreams only took me there,
that very special night.


RIP Jacob Charles 4/1/2003

Very pretty poem. It's very sad to lose a child,I counted birthdays till my son was 21.I'm always more depressed and blue the time of year.That I lost you.Your still in my heart,and I'll love you forever to.Gentle hugs it does get easier.enjoy the son you have my second son will be 27 in May.I would not have made it if something had happened to the son I have. He is no angel but a hard working hard play young man.

God bless you and Jacob! I'm sorry for your loss....I can't imagine....I just can't imagine your pain. Your poem was beautiful!

I say your entitled to your grief! But I do hope your physical pain is lesser.

Love and hugs!

I am so sorry to read about your loss. I cannot imagine what that is like to go thru. I know that whenever I am feeling sad or stressed my pain goes thru the roof. Something like that would make it hard to get out of bed for so many reasons, not pain alone. I commend you for your strength for getting thru that. And also for having the courage to talk about it. I can only imagine what an amazing woman you are. Thank you for allowing us to get a glimpse of it, tho. And know that you have come to the right place. You are amongst friends here. And use us to talk to whenever you need us!