Yes, please do. There's lots of love and understanding in this group!

Hey, Di. You know what I just learned about myself? I'm a 2 on the Enneagram. If you haven't heard of it, there are a lot of online resources about it. It's an ancient way to understand personalities. A 2 is the kind of person who never asks for help and always offers help to others. They are the type that have the remote and give it over as soon as someone else walks into the room. They never pick the restaurant or activity. Sounds about right, wouldn't you say? So, the point of this is that, as a 2, I need to challenge myself to ask for help and to actually say what I want. It's a journey, but I do know that you and several others will be there for me when the chips are down. It's a comfort just knowing that. Love you loads, girl.

Great word of encouragement, Di!

I've been really struggling lately. I can't seem to find a 'good place' in my head. I'm so frustrated with this disease.
I am alone too much. Though I'm married, I have to work from home and it's mostly on my own so I am pretty isolated. I have 100% lost my social life. It was a slow death. I kept trying and pushing myself to socialize but the past year has been one long 'crash' so I haven't tried anymore. ... i sound pretty sorry for myself, I know. I can't seem to shake it.
I miss my old life so much it hurts. I was outgoing and had a career and traveled. Now I'm a hermit too tired and in pain to even go to a movie. Depression has set in. I've sought medical help. That was a big zero.
We are in the process of trying to sell our house. I need to move to a more mild climate before winter sets in. Things are soooo much worse in winter.
House sale isn't going well so that adds major stress. Sometimes I wish I had a friend who would just stop by and hang out with me, even if I didn't invite her/him.
You know what's really making me sad today? So dumb. My husband is going golfing on Sunday and I'm upset - he doesn't know - because it will mean being alone again. He's my only company.
Anyway, thanks for posting about reaching out. And to whoever reads through this, thanks for doing that.

Hello Booklvr (that name makes you sound like you might just be my kind of person - feel free to 'friend' me if you want). Although I am single, other than that, so much of what you are saying sounds all too familiar. My social life bit the dust a couple of years ago and even then it had shrunk to only going out to lunch once a month (if I was well enough that day) with some people I used to work with. Having to let go of everything outside of the house was one of the toughest things I've been through with this damnable disease.

Then on top of that, you're having to deal with selling up and moving house! That's known for being one of the three most stressful times you can encounter in your life. Stress is a bad trigger for me and always makes me worse. Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you through that process.

For a long time I was simply not able to hear of one of my family (who all live too far away to help me out physically) going out and doing something fun without feeling jealous, resentful and angry about what my life had become. I ended up in a very bad place mentally and emotionally and it was only after I hit crisis point that I reached out for help and things began to get a bit better again. (Did your medical intervention include counseling? Mine did and that has been the biggest help). I think I can understand how you don't want to be alone and I'm guessing you haven't mentioned it to him because you don't want him to have to curtail his life because of your illness.

Being alone so much has been one of the hardest parts for me, despite the fact that I am naturally an introvert. There is so much difference from choosing to be alone sometimes and being forced to be alone almost all of the time. It was made much worse when my condition deteriorated to the point I could no longer do any of my crafts or even read a book.

Thankfully, I now at least have the concentration back to be able to read again as getting lost in books has always been one of my coping mechanisms. For a while I had to stick to re-reading things I knew I enjoyed from my own bookshelves but am now up to being able to tackle new books. I've also been able to work on my own writing on a regular basis (if only for maybe an hour a day), which has been wonderful.

So, what I guess I'm trying to say is, you are not alone. Many of us know the problems and feelings you are struggling with. Remember that things will get better, even if it's just your coping mechanisms which improve. But you also probably know that a crash isn't necessarily a permanent thing either, so hold on to the hope that when the move is over, you will have the time space and weather to help you improve again.

I did and you folks helped me decide to live.... that says it all.