Hi all.  Am new here,  and looking to connect instead of isolate this time around.   I am in my first major long-term crash since my initial 18 months of being bed-ridden back in Fall of 2004 to Spring of 2006 when I was 25 and trying to finish up grad school.  Have struggled and slowed down or gotten sick on and off since then,  taken months off between jobs,  or cut down hours for the winter,  but I finally found a job I love and could do 2 years ago,  and now I've used all my sick time for the year and am on 2 weeks of unpaid medical leave... It's disappointing.  Am looking into short term disability as an option for the near future and trying to keep my job this time.  Hoping for the best and extremely glad I work for a company that approved my leave this time around (fourth time's a charm?)...at least for the first 2 weeks anyway.  May even try to apply for SSI Disability,  but that sounds almost as overwhelming as it did 15 years ago when I was bed-ridden.  

My mom is JUST starting to see and acknowledge  that I could use some help (that only took 15 years) so she drives down an hour to come help around the house every other week for three hours.  When she offered I cried. I've been doing it on my own for 15 years... Somehow.  My significant other (on and off again)  of five years helps with physical stuff sometimes, but lately doesn't understand this newest level of my fatigue and brain fog, so he is frustrated, snippy,  confused,  and less than supportive...he is getting selfish. I moved into my own place last July because the initial symptoms of this crash (and his crappy responses to them) were too stressful and unsupportive for me to be around on a daily basis...borderline verbally abusive. And I'm not even gonna go into what my dad or my sister think of CFS.  So rather than trying to get the people in my world to understand,  I'm using my energy to reach out here instead.  And for self care.  

I know the drill,  I've come out of it before and been able to work 20 hours a week at a not-too-draining job for long periods of time before.  It just sucks being this low again.  Sleeping whole weekends away and taking 3-4 hour naps on good days.  Praying I can get back up the stairs to my apartment with my groceries when I leave the house for food (mom helped last time thankfully)  And it's gonna take time, patience, GRADUAL increased activity/exercise, even more dietary changes, and sticking to my supplements and self care routines. And as always,  hope, faith,  acceptance, and reminding myself that I'm doing the best I can do on any given day...whatever the heck it looks like in that moment. Some days my best is running an errand or two and taking care of some paperwork or making a meal,  plus maybe even a phone call or two, or getting to my acupuncturist,  therapist,  or Dr (thankfully I've found good ones over the years) .. other days it's literally crawling from bed to feed the cats, and congratulating myself on completing that ONE task before going back to bed.  Gotta be our own cheerleaders!   So yeah,  that's me,  and where I'm at right now. Have read some posts and so far this seems like an encouraging  good group.  Glad to have found y'all. Hugs, and looking forward to connecting more.