I know how hard it is trying to manage on your own. When I first got ill I was living alone. A walk to the mail box 20 metres from my house was a big deal and had to be planned in. First of all I would suggest, pace yourself. Work out the bare minimum of what you have to do and stagger it all. Find creative ways to minimise energy expenditure...order groceries to be delivered, get readymade meals, ask friends to pick up shopping or help. Cooking in bulk and freezing is good too. It's really hard.

As a last resort, if you can't cope is there any family you could move in with that could support you to rest and get better? I had to do this for several years. You have to make yourself and your health the absolute focus. I don't know the circumstances of your life but just do whatever you can to rest as much as you need to. Making a daily structure with a balance of rest and activity can help too.

Getting upset is normal...I get upset sometimes, everybody does. It's so frustrating. Sometimes I have a really big cry and then keep going. i don't know what else to suggest.

When I am feeling frustrated about the things I can't do, I try to focus on other things. My biggest escape is reading, but when I can't concentrate on that, TV and DVDs are my big escape, especially movies and series in which I can lose myself for a while.

Hi, dear. I wish I could tell you how to not feel bad about this, but I'm not sure that's really the best thing for you, in the end. Sure, no one wants to be sad, but I'm of the school of thought that you feel your feelings now or you feel them later, but later is going to be worse for a lot of reasons. Do you have any support system? It's really hard to face this all on your own. We are here for you, but it's always great to have flesh and blood friends right there with you if you can. The only thing I can suggest in trying to feel more positive is to look for little things. I watch birds and try to remember the great stuff my kids do. It's not all bad. Everyone's life has some bright spots if you can just focus in on them, but CFS is a bugger. So, grieve as much as you need to. With greater acceptance of what is, you may not feel the grief so acutely. Many blessings.

Hi!!! I try to relax and meditate even for 15 minutes,this daily practice really helps with tough and black thoughts,your body also will feel better. But the most important is to enjoy this process.
I also write a journal every day,all my crazy thoughts,ideas and images,fears and doubts. And this exercise helps me also.nyou may try! Take care of yourself!!!

It is certainly a life adjustment having this illness. It took me years and many useless doctors and treatments to finally accept that this is my new life. Every day can be challenging though when there are things you want/need to do.

I think once I went through financial disaster after not being able to work and got my SSD I was finally able to relax a little. Now I just take it one day at a time and don't make any plans that I know I may not be able to follow through on.

Welcome to the group. Lot's of supportive people here.

Thank you for all of the thoughtful responses.
A couple of questions answered-
I do live with my elderly Mom who is supportive, but is starting to go through her own old age things so she can't really help me. Sometimes I think she and my other family get tired of hearing when I am not feeling well, almost like they don't believe me. They see me riding my horse on good days and don't quite understand how this and my other illnesses work. So, I just fake it and don't usually mention how I am feeling.
I am already on disability for my Fibro. I don't get much a month, so having groceries delivered or premade meals is not an option. Sometimes I have to eat the cheapest stuff I can find.
triunfidora-I also try to focus on the little things or the things that bring me joy, like my dog and horse. But, it is sometimes hard when I can't get over to see my horse-I feel guilty. I may have to sell him in the near future as my living situation is going to change. I can't even imagine it. My horse does so much for me. Just being around him makes me feel better and when I can ride I don't feel any pain at all.
My life is not always this hard. It just seems like one of those times when everything bad is happening at the same time. You just want to give up some days. I won't take that road, but sometimes it is sure enticing.
I don't have many friends left in my life and those that I have don't live near me. The people I am around a lot just don't understand this and consider me lazy or just making excuses when I can't do something.

Hi, again, dear. Yeah, I'm sure your mom does support you, but it is hard in that she is growing older herself. I have definitely had that experience that I get the sense that people don't believe me. I guess they try in their own way, but it's really hard for them to understand that what I did yesterday does not determine what I can do today. We really do have good and bad days and they are totally different. People have a really hard time understanding that. I am sure your horse helps you a lot. I am a big believer in using animals, horses particularly, for both physical and emotional therapy. I would love to participate in something like that. Many blessings.

pacing is a suggestion. crock pot meals are easy and quick to do. a diary of energy and exhaustion is a suggestion. I have 2 times a day for a rest for about 15 -20 min. an online chronic disease self management class really was a good suggestion for me. If made me realize that so many were in the same situation as I am and great discussions of what others are doing etc. This is only a suggestion.

I find a scheduled day to be helpful.
After some time I've worked out when during the day I have the most energy (about 30 min after I wake up, and then 30 min after breakfast and lunch) and when I crash (after my shower and getting dressed; about 45 min after my energy lifts listed above and during times of stressors like doc appts or being in the sun)
Treating my day analytically, I schedule what needs to be done and use what tools I have available.
20 meters is a pretty long walk to a mailbox for us. Is the ground as such that you could use a wheelchair or walker to make it easier? If so the walker will have a place to carry the mail while it helps you move along more easily, and a wheelchair a pouch.
Using helper devices in the home can help save energy as well. I use a rolling desk chair in the kitchen (or my wheelchair) and it is much less energy to push a bit with my legs to get from stove to counter to refrigerator than it is for me to stand and move about on my legs. Standing in one place can be remarkable tiring, so just sitting whenever you can helps.
Cooking is rough especially on a disability paycheck but find your food intolerances and avoid them as much as you can, eating protein and non starchy veggies if you are a blood type O and more carbs if you are a blood type A but spread out so you don't have blood sugar ups and downs which are an additional stressor to our bodies. Within that, try to find those energy moments and start the crock pot going with a good soup or stew, which can use the less expensive meats or even beans in their place. Make it a large amount and it can be just warmed quickly for good meals. My favorites - beef stew meat with sweet potato, carrots, onions and beef broth, thickened, or not...good both ways...and chicken legs and thighs (inexpensive pieces) stewed with some kind of sauce right on the bone. There is healthy stuff in the marrow of those bones that gets into the stew. Then I remove them, take off the meat that hasnt already fallen off the bones and put it back in and mix in some vegetables - nothing fancy, just a bag of frozen or whatever is good from the local stand that can take the heat - carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, potatoes, peas, corn, etc. I call it bbq chicken stew but it's also good as a soup using chicken broth instead. Then there is "leftover sauce", whenever there is leftover meat from a meal I freeze it and when there is enough, say 1 1/2 lbs or so, I just put it all in the crock pot with a jar of red pasta sauce and let it go for hours. It's all good, pork, ground beef, steak, chicken, turkey. Then it goes on pasta (gluten free for me) or just in a bowl with rice mixed in or even with beans to flesh it out. There are weeks you end up eating the same thing for days but really that is how we are meant to eat, it's not like the cavemen went out for something different 3 times a day. If I haven't had the energy to even use the crock pot, I go to my default which is canned chicken drained with mayonnaise in it on some lettuce or even just plain like that. And, of course, you can boil up a dozen eggs hard boiled or even buy them already cooked. Eggs are great protein.
Oh, to keep the crock pot clean see if you can find crock pot liners. They help so much....

Thanks for sharing these as I can also benefit from this advice.

I agree with what's been said. No point in sugar-coating this, we have a hard road to walk with this illness. Face it or get ambushed by it, that's our choice.

And I deeply sympathize about your horse. But they are big, expensive animals to maintain...so you might have to find him a new friend to care for him. I loved my cats so much...but they were used to being outside on my property that I inherited and when the coyotes moved in...that was the end of them.

I've had to face the reality that I can't afford to have animal companions anymore...first time in my life I've done without that. But it is what it is. I content myself with occasional hellos to my rabbit friends. I've even made friends with the paper wasps that nest on my carport...they land on my hat briefly when they're exhausted and trying to make it home to rest. There's no doubt that they understand that I'm their friend, strange as that seems. They favor putting their nests right on my doorway so they can be close to me...I guess they figure it's good to have very large friends nearby in a dangerous world.

Try to look for these small things that bring you peace.

Sorry you're going through a rough patch, I remember enduring many of those and completely send you all my support. Pacing yourself seems to be the best policy. I still am not steady enough to work and housework and errands seem to take most of what I have. I don't have any friends I actively talk to now since this has taken a hold of me. I used to try to schedule things and then I would get sick and not be able to make it. I finally decided to give it a break, hopefully when I'm better I can reconnect. Be kind to yourself and find things, even if it is on the computer or TV that can make you laugh.

Cupcake, can you lease your horse to someone for income? I used to lease a friend's horse for 2 Saturdays a month and paid her a few hundred dollars for that privilege.

I've owned horses too and they sure can be expensive once you include vet bills, stable and the normal maintenance.

I'm looking for a horse to lease right now as a matter of fact.

Or you could sell your horse to someone and lease it back on a schedule you want. I never did ride my horses daily, there are always a few days you could someone else ride.

That's a great thought, hollie!