I'm sorry to hear about all you are dealing with. When I was approved for Long Term Disability (10 years ago), they based the decision on things like how long I could sit or stand, issues of strength, concentration, etc. The diagnosis wasn't a factor, but rather its effect on my ability to fulfill my job duties. It's been a while, so I don't remember all the details, but I do remember those are the types of questions my doctors had to answer. It's very hard to make a change in your life like taking time off of work due to illness but sometimes there's no choice. I hope things work out well for you. Please be patient with yourself ! Life holds a lot of meaning apart from things like work or school.

I am so sorry to hear that you are going to lose your job. That's an awful thing to have to face. I had to leave my apprenticeship as a mechanic back in the early days of my CFS. At the time I didn't understand the tiredness and lack of concentration and although I knew there was something wrong with me, my diagnosis was still new and the disease was not so well understood or accepted as it is nowadays. (And considering how little it is even now, that says something.) At the time, I decided that it must just be that I wasn't suited to the job and worded my resignation letter around that. It was only as my condition worsened that my mother forgave me for "giving up", she and I both coming to understand finally that it was not that at all.

I can certainly understand your feelings of shame, having been there myself, but you have to keep in mind that it absolutely is not your fault in any way. It's hard to accept, particularly with people who don't understand telling you it's all in your head or to push through the fatigue (the worst thing you can do). There are things we have always been able to do before and finding we can't now is a loss. It's a grieving process that's tough to face but adjusting is the only way to cope with having this terrible disease.

There's a saying I adopted a few years ago : When you come to the end of your rope, make a knot and hang on. Hanging on got me through a lot. I hope it does you too.

Welcome to DS. Take a hold of our rope and lean on us. We understand how debilitating this disease can be.. I myself have suffered with CFS for a very long time. I am still shocked and so often in disbelief. However it is a very real physical illness ,and there is some seriously devoted research happening these days and finally concrete biomarkers being discovered. I believe that the Griffith Uni Research team here in Australia is making progress. Please be kind to yourself. Never feel ashamed. You are doing your best. I understand your disappointment in losing your job and also the financial insecurity. However ,it is not your fault or your failing. You have an illness that deprives you of strength and energy. Don't give up on fighting for a disability pension.There are many here who can assist you with advice in the process. You may beable to work from home perhaps doing something new online. Or perhaps you can start a small business of some sort using other people's bodies and energy while you rest. Keep open to ideas. Self love is something that this disease can easily destroy so keep your spirit up and that self love happening. Positive affirmations are good. I like the name you chose by the way. Remember to take shelter here anytime you are finding it too difficult. Just reach out. We can handle all the moans and groans. We will never judge you.. Comedy is fine too. Great for our depleted adrenals. Take care now.

We're here for you and we get it. I remember hump day (wednesday) as the day I just had to push past and the last couple days were pure torture punctuated by endless coffee or cola to keep moving.
I would highly suggest you start keeping a daily journal, on paper or on your pc though on paper is more helpful as it also shows your handwriting deteriorating but both work.
Date it, put how the day went, what time you got bad, what you were doing and how you feel emotionally at different times. What meds you took. Be brutally honest. This will be a huge help in getting LTD.
if you are in the US, be aware that even if you are approved for SSDI you won't get paid for the first 6 months after your date of disability. So you want it to be as early as possible.
Say you have your journals and the doctors have all seen you since oct (now) and you are missing work on a weekly basis consistently. You could make the case you are permanently disabled NOW since you can't work 40 hrs. But you need some kind of back up. My journals coupled with specialist visits and notes got me back dated nearly 2 yrs. Now they only pay back up to one year but it was better than not getting it at all.
And please consider using a lawyer. The system is built to deny benefits and there are things that can be done to help push it through. I ended up paying my lawyer 6k, but without him I would probably not have gotten anything at all.

Thanks to you all for posting your responses. It's hard for me to say how or why, but it really did help calm and steady me, and even gave me a mental lift.

Nina1959, your specific comments about journaling, lawyer, etc were esp helpful. Thanks ~~

I'm in Employee Relations, its a field within HR that deals with situations like these in the workplace. You have two options to help you manage you disability, neither requiring disclosure of your diagnosis to your employer. If you've 1,250 and have at least one year of service you may apply for the Family Medical Leave Act. "FMLA" You're entitled to 480 hours of leave to use continuously, intermittently, or a combination of both for things like medical appointments and flare-ups. You can apply for State Disability Insurance if you live in CA, NJ, or RI. Despite your qualification for FMLA you may always apply for an Americans with Disabilities Act "ADA" accommodation, this may include things like a leave, reduced work schedule, the ability to work from home, or the flexibility to leave early with flare-ups. Its important to work closely with your doctor on documentation, for most employers the Department of Labor FMLA form is used, Google it. There are no standard ADA forms, in most cases employers will accept a doctors note indicating that you a.) have a disability b.) what major life functions it impairs c.) what essential functions of your job prevent limitations and why (without diagnostic information - e.g. "Working at a computer for eight hours" - causes fatigue, chronic medical illness d.) his/her suggestions for workplace accommodations. If you have a job description have it on-hand, pick a few essential functions from there to help your doctor, don't presume your essential functions without checking for a job description first. The ADA requires an interactive dialogue with your employer, usually HR, where they may discuss alternative suggestions and you find a middle ground-don't budge too much. Unless you're being unreasonable (e.g you’re a chef in a restaurant only open at night and you say you want to work at home 8-5) whatever your doctor writes is usually golden. Remember, nobody can ask your specific diagnosis, not on paper or otherwise. If you feel your rights have been violated promptly try to resolve within HR channels and should that fail you always have a limited time period to file a claim with the Equal Opportunity employment Commission "EEOC” I’ve never posted or had an account until now, felt inclined to help, hope this proves useful.

One more note - the ADA covers leave of absence, if you’re not eligible for FMLA due to service time or an exhaustion of benefit time. Check your leave policy, most employers find one year to be the maximum leave amount. (480 hours FMLA plus an additional nine months.) You may be told 3 months is the maximum, its not, and it would be foolish of the employer to not reasonably extend a leave beyond that. Also, open enrollment is coming up for most employers, look into Short & Long term Disability through your employer, many times there are no health exams needed for a group plan. Always sign up for the best plans available, the trivial cost per pay period will make a significant impact should you need the benefit(s).

socalguy -- EXCELLENT information. So grateful you took the time to post!

Hello, I meant to comment on your post the day you wrote it. I am going through the exact same thing and wanted to let you know that you are not alone in this. I to crash by every Wednesday or Thursday. I did finally explain to my bosses what was going on, but with the nature of this illness and how it is looked at, I don't know if that made me feel much better. I still think that everyone is judging me. My boss has been understanding but if I feel that my clock is running out and I will be let go after our busy season. The only thing i can offer you is that you should try to get over the shame. I know from experience, that this is hard, but it's not your fault. And co-workers and bosses will not understand, because they have not gone through it. Try to put them out of your mind. It looks like you got some great advice on here re FMLA. Hopefully you can take advantage of this and it will allow you to focus on getting better, that is what is most important in the long run!

I, too have felt great emotional pain since I've been sick for the past two and a half years -- being forced to close my business and not being able to work at all has hurt tremendously.
Awhile back I found an article online that helped me slowwwwllllllyyyyy begin moving to a place where the hurt doesn't hurt as much. I'll include the link for you here. The illness that the article mentions is depression but I just substitute the word illness because it's the theme/perspective of the piece that speaks to me.
This may not speak to you at all and if it doesn't, I hope that one or more of the other comments to your post does.
Sending you much love and much light
https://www.innerpeacenow.com/inner-peace-blog/how-to-deal-with-depression

_scrappy_ I highly suggest the book "How to Be Sick: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and Their Caregivers" by Toni Bernhard. She also wrote two subsequent books but that is the best starting point. The webpage you posted is much like her books. You may find something there you like. Peace

@ Nina1959, I just bought the book, am looking forward to reading it!