Hi~! Welcome!

Firstly, I'm glad that you walked away from an abusive situation!! Smart lady you are!!

It's wonderful that you are still able to work. Sooner or later, we all come to a point where we realize work time may have to be reduced and/or stopped completely! I remember when I had to make this decision. I had really pushed myself to the point where I had no option but to stay in bed. It's better for CFS/ME sufferers to get a diagnosis and then IMMEDIATELY go lay down! Seriously! I think had I not pushed so hard to try and try, I wouldn't have been as sick as I was the first three years with this illness.

Life is hard on two incomes, so I can assure that everyone understands your fear of losing the one you have. You would have to consider disability and re-arrange your life a bit. Move to a smaller place maybe....but these are big changes and you are just reaching a point where you are considering them. The time will come when you will have to make some hard calls. We will be here to support you through those times.

I hated leaving the work force. Hated it. Took me six years to throw out my work uniforms. But I have managed to get a grip on my illness. My life has a better quality. I needed to rest....for a long time. And I pushed too hard....for a long time. Now I have my disability....have adjusted my income to meet my needs, and am getting by!!

You will do the same. One day at a time! That's how we have to deal with this illness. It changes it's face all the time, and it's best if you get ready for some changes now....then when it's time to make them, you will be emotionally ready.

We're here for ya!! Honest!

I quit my job because I was sick but didn't know what was making me sick. A CFS expert I wen to was surprised that I wasn't on disability. He told me to do it ASAP because it times out after your last day of work. Your last day is day one and then some number of years later you can't apply for it.

Fortunately, I still had time left but not much. It's a pittance because I only started working full time when my kids started going to college. I couldn't live on it but I don't have to. My husband makes more than enough so my disability is my mad money.

I certainly wouldn't marry someone just to have a steady income. I'm stuck in a loveless marriage because I need his paycheck and his health insurance.

Darla made some excellent suggestions. She was in your situation work wise. I miss working. I was a Unit Secretary on hematology/oncology in-patient units. I loved my job and the people I worked with. I miss that. I miss so many things. I've had CFS for 15 years and still think of myself as healthy-Vicki. I'm learning that I have to let healthy-Vicki go because she'll never come back. Just writing that brought me to tears.

My kids all live far away but are loving and supportive. I wish they were closer but they live where their job is. We moved all over the country so there is no hometown for any of us. Putting down roots was never an option because the next move was right around the corner.

I got off the subject. Hang in there and as Darla said make plans before you have to quit working. She's a smart lady. Listen to what she has to say.

God bless
Hugs
Vicki

I agree with Darla...BRAVO for ending a bad situation, that took amazing strength and says alot about what a courgeous person you are. There are just so many fears that our illness brings, it can be overwhelming at times. I am so fortunate that my job has never been necessary for our livelyhood but has provided us with mad-money. My fear of losing my job is that I will lose the one thing that makes me feel VALID in the world. That makes me feel USEFUL and PRODUCTIVE and REAL. I've been so fortunate that my workplace has bent over backwards to accommodate my needs just so I could keep being a part of it. I went from 5 days/35 hours a week, to 2 5 hour shifts per week, and I don't even make it to work half the time. Now, because of our notorious California budget cuts, my job will eliminated effective July 1st. I know it's so terribly hard to end that part of your life whatever the reason, I'm so sorry you have the added stress of losig your livelyhood. My thoughts and prayers are with you.....hugs! Genie

I was able to work from home, I'd started my own business before getting sick, so could adjust the hours. I was under the impression that dental hygenists could make their own schedules and had quite a bit of flexibility about how much they work...no?

Who would want to go out with someone like you? I met and married my husband AFTER catching CFS and I'm not the only one. So there is hope. One girlfriend of mine says she notices some men are attracted to her due to her illness.

So don't give up.

hollie

Hi! It is normal to feel scared about losing a career and income. I go through those feelings every day. I'm very new to dealing with these illnesses, but the fear of financial problems is very real! I understand! Everyone here has great suggestions at DS. I have found just reading all the posts helps me.