It is so frustrating to feel so tired. But you are not alone! I recall a time before I started getting so tired, reading about a woman who had CFS. She could only manage to go to work and was not able to do anything outside of work with her co-workers afterward due to being so tired. And I remember thinking at the time it must be so weird to be THAT tired.......well now years later I have such a hard time some days just getting through the days, let alone trying to do extra things! So in time people may start to understand even if they don't have the disease, maybe just the aging process in general will help them be more understanding.

Hi, honey. I hear you! It takes tremendous bravery to stand up to people who don't believe CFS/ME is a thing. They will judge you as lazy or crazy. You are neither. We know that here. You're safe here to be real and to tell the truth about how you feel. No one wants to have cancer, but at least with a highly recognized disease, you can skip the judgment that comes with CFS/ME. We suffer primarily in silence. I'm so glad you are with us. You're in the right place. I was so lonely until I came here and found such lovely, understanding friends. Pace yourself and get rest when you need it, no matter what anyone else thinks. This illness can spark some serious depression. Don't be afraid to discuss that with your doctor if you think you might be struggling with a clinical depression. Many of us have struggled with that at various times on the journey. We get you, dear one. Be blessed.

Isolation and loneliness is a big burden to add to a devastating illness. People can be really cruel, can't they? I've lost my professional colleagues, my family, my friends. Only my dad stuck with me, and he's been gone for a while now.

I just wrote in a personal journal I keep in a notebook that there's nothing about myself I need to change to overcome my isolation. It's the community where I live that needs to change...and that has to come from them.

Absolutely understand your situation, believe me. I have had to leave quite a few people behind because they don't want to understand I am ill. Over the years, many have come around & do try to get it & they will now ask me if I feel well enough to do such & such. I think it is because I finally realized one day that I was really sick, I mean I knew it before but one day I just got it. Before that, I would push myself to do whatever they wanted from me & I paid for it because I wanted to still fit in & not be left out. I had to get that I am the only one who will take care of me so I started saying no to their requests like hiking, shopping, camping, fishing, etc, all things I used to do. Now I say yes to a visit, or dinner together & such.

So many people think we are lazy or just faking it but we aren't. So we come here & help each other make it through our day & deal with those people whose faces go blank when we say we have CFS/ME. You have found the right place so come often & rant all that you want we will listen. Hugs, Denise

Feel free to rant all you want, because we understand what you are going through. I've had many people believing I'm just lazy, a doctor who was convinced I was a hypochondriac and another who thought my symptoms were caused by depression. After seeing a psychologist for some time, she confirmed that the depression was caused by the fatigue, not the other way around.

Having someone to talk to helps me to cope and the people here can help with that. I also found a psychiatrist who focuses on cognitive behavioral therapy rather than just prescribing medication and she's been a great help.

The people around you will take a while to come to understand as much as they can of what you're going through. Listen to your body, rest when you need to and remember - you're not crazy or lazy or any of those things, you're just like the rest of us here, coping as best we can.

oh my, this topic really pushes my buttons. I have had to cut family members and friends out of my life. When I tell a friend about my symptoms she says "I'm really tired too" or "The heat bothers me too" etc etc. She is a sweet woman and a good friend, but she just WON"T understand.

For the past several years, I sometimes tell people I have MS. These are usually folk I don't know well and I know we will be just acquaintances, if that. Their response is "Oh, yes, I have an aunt who has that; it's really serious. Now I understand." I hate to lie, but sometimes I cannot fight so much prejudice.

In the last few years I have cultivated people in my life that do understand, so I don't have to fight this fight so much. Life has become so much more peaceful now.

I was particularly struck by your comment that you acknowledge you don't have cancer. What you do have can be worse in terms of daily life. Here is an article that really opened my eyes

https://livingwithchronicfatiguesyndrome.wordpress.com/2009/11/16/how-severe-cfs-is/

Try to get people in your life who "get it". And the others will matter less and less.

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR YOUR KINDNESS

I have returned to work again this week after another 5 months off unwell. People I thought were friends have blanked me and others stared at me. I wanted to shout out - I'm not a criminal , I'm not well, where is your human compassion but instead I smiled and carried on.

I have been in bed since Wednesday afternoon with total fatigue both mental and physical and have been in pain all over.

This morning I felt some energy and ventured downstairs only to find my house a complete tip - i have two adult children living at home !

Im so angry and I don't want to be , i want to be able to forgive people for their lack of understanding - How do I do this as I think it will help me to recover if I can let other people's judgements/ behaviours and attitudes float over me .

I am so glad I found this place and already know that I'm not alone.

Love hugs and hope to you all x

I have a book "You Don't LOOK Sick!" by Joy Selak and Seven Overman. ....Living Well with Invisible Chronic Illness. This is one of the best books I have found. It is written in the first person and chronicles Joy Selak's experiences and wisdom. There is a chapter called "Ladies Who Lunch" It is a conversation with friends/acquaintances over lunch. It is hilarious but very insightful too. Here's an excerpt: (I have shortened these little examples)

You are so lucky you don't HAVE to work. I wish I could be a little bit sick so I didn't HAVE to work." " I LIKE to work and I am not a little bit sick!" and it goes on.....
"Why don't you get yourself a good doctor and get yourself well?" "I have a good doctor...." "If it was my life I would get myself a new doctor and get over it" "My illness is chronic, with no known cure" "If you really wanted to, you could get well. How's your marriage by the way?"
And other ladies keep saying "you don't LOOK sick!" over and over.
It goes on and on. Ends by saying
"If I try harder next time, "Next time, maybe they will too".

I have read this chapter over and over. It is 4 pages long and helped me see the absurdity of it all. It has helped me see things from the ladies point of view. More importantly, it has helped me become accustomed to these viewpoints and lack of understanding. My anger has gone way down.

If you are interested in buying this book, it can be found on Amazon starting at .01 cent (Yes really) and 3.99 shipping. It is well worth it.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0789024497/ref=dp_olp_used?ie=UTF8&condition=used