Pouty,

Everyone has guilt feelings for something they have done. You are no different than the rest of us as you are having normal feelings.

Please do not let these feelings rule your life though. If you keep thinking of guilt, then you are living in the past. Please let the past go as it is not healthy to keep thinking about it.

Try to think and plan for your future. This will change the way you feel immediately.

Have a good day!
TheWino

Yes unfortunately, like almost every day and in particular when I have severe crashes like now.I look back and see the mistakes I made that contributed to my suffering with cfs today.I feel guilty for the burden I have put my family under even though they love me, still I have greatly affected their lives.I have guilt of my lost 32yrs to this illness.All the times when I should have protected myself and valued myself enough to say no instead of yes to please others, to feel accepted and loved.I feel both guilty and stupid that I cannot seem to recover.However I have made some good friends here at DS and these special people are working hard to change my self image from a negative to a positive.They keep supporting me and give me hope that my guilt may be eventually erased.So I am very fortunate and most grateful to these very spiritual people.So pouty we have to learn to forgive ourselves for our past mistakes.After all at that time we both did what we thought was the right thing to do . It's done, over, in the past, cannot be changed, we are only human, full of imperfections.We have to forgive ourselves and love ourselves, hey pouty.

Thankyou so much for your encouraging comments about dealing with guilt. It really helped me to read them. I don't feel so alone.

I do deal with guilt now and then over how much I tried to "rally" when I first got sick. But, I'm not so sure I believe the medical profession's opinion that overdoing it is what made us sicker. It would probably be very hard to test that theory in a controlled scientific study. And how could we have known - I spent years getting a diagnosis. It would have been very hard to make the right decision without having all the information. That's my rational mind saying that. My emotional self still feels guilty sometimes!

I keep trying to remember how my therapist defines guilt, guilt is what you feel when you have INTENTIONALLY done something to hurt someone or cause hurt. REGRET is what you feel when you feel bad about something you did when you had no bad intentions or just didn't know any better. Makes sense to me, and I've tried to look at my feelings and try to indentify them properly based on this.

But I know that the kind of guilt we sometimes feel stems from knowing better, but not really being sure of an outcome, so we're willing to take a chance , then feel bad when it turns out bad. Did that even make sense? Jeez, it's morning.

Here's what I try to do, I try to make the best of everything, when I feel that strong bad feeling that I initially indentify as guilt, I take a closer look and am able to recognize that I feel regret over many things, and that it's okay to feel that....and then move on.

We're only human, we do the best we can, it's our intentions that matter.....not so much the end result.

Hugs to you,
Genie

No.
None of this is my fault, and it isn't yours either.

I don't think that I feel guilt! Guilt wouldn't be the right word. I'm sorry that I was stricken with this illness, and that my hubby has to venture out without me to many affairs. but like Genie said, I haven't done anything INTENTIONALLY to myself to cause this illness. It came on out of nowhere and knocked me out. If my husband, who is my primary caretaker, doesn't MAKE me feel guilty about being sick.....then I won't EVER feel guilty about being sick.

I don't blame myself for crashes. I know they're going to come. It's what the illness is all about. We can't avoid them. We're broken....in the energy department. It's not our fault.

Give yourself a break, friend. It's not your fault you have CFS. If people around you are making you feel guilty.....rid yourself of them. My friends and family are totally supportive. I know this plays a major factor in how I feel about being disabled.

I wish you the best. NO GUILT! OK?!! OK!!

I feel no guilt for being sick, I didn't ask for it nor did I do anything to get it. It is what it is. To feel guilty is a waste of my energy & causes stress. When I really accepted the fact that I have an illness & quit listening to everyone else who said I needed to just be this way or that way, I gave up the guilt. I, also, had to get over my ideas & standards that I had as a well person. They no longer applied. Living with an illness & using the same standards on yourself is just not healthy thinking. For example, I used to have a very clean house, spotless, this I had received from my Mom & I lived & stressed by it. Once I became ill, I couldn't do it anymore, I fretted & stewed & stressed & was anxious but to no avail. I finally said to myself one day, "I am sick". From then on I have lived like a sick person with limited energy & I am very happily puttering around as I have the energy to clean.

My daughter, Misty, is ill as well & she has learned she can still be an awesome mother to her two kids. She gives them lots of love & attention without having to expend a lot of energy. She is a strict disciplinarian & they love her dearly. They know she is sick but it is what they are used to so they are okay with it & live within the boundaries of the illness.

Just because you are sick doesn't mean you can't be a good wife & mother. Teach those around you what you can do & don't focus so much on what you can't. Live your life, be happy, that is the best gift you caqn give to your family. Hugs, Denise

I have just found out I have cfs after many years and i do feel guilty and responsible for how much I do each day and how it will affect me. I feel that I can' t be myself anymore, and it is my responsibility to balance my day so I can lead a some what normal life.So I too can understand how u are feeling, you are not alone.