Welcome, HayGray02. God Bless.

Welcome to the group, HayGray02.

Hello everyone! Thank you so much for making me feel so welcome :) I am so glad that there is a Christian group on here as well. I really need some prayers..... I have suffered from Anxiety and Panic Attacks pretty much my entire life. I have mostly kept it under control with the help of an anti-depressent however in the last few years my Anxiety has spiraled out of control. I really do not know why I suffer from Anxiety and Panic Attacks, I have had a really good childhood, nothing too traumatic has ever really happened to me.... so it is very frustrating. I am also one of those people that really do not like taking any medication or "pill" unless they have to....but it came down to my Anxiety interferring with my daily life so I had to do something. I have a wonderful Church that I belong to where I live and both my husband and I are very active at our Church. We have two girls as well, ages 12 and 4. They are both my life!! My husband is actually the one that brought me back to Christ about 8 years ago. I honestly owe it all to him. My husband has been in Church all his life, his father is a retired Pastor. I look up to him and have learned so much. I just wish that I could communicate or "hear" God like he does. I look around at my Church family and I wish that I could have the relationship that they have with God.... I am just still "new" at this I guess.... I just do not understand why God has given me this horrible Anxiety for my life, and I just do not understand at times when I have been praying for healing and help from God for a long while now, I just do not get it. I know we do not understand everything, and everything is God`s timing, but it can get very frustrating, especially when I feel the way I do at times. I understand that others have it way worse than me, and I feel for them, and if I personally know someone that is suffering or anything, they are on my mind and I pray for them. I do not know. I just wanted to say HI to everyone here and let you in on my life a little. Thanks so much for listening and being here for me. God bless you all and I look forward to reading your responses.

Hi HayGray02 - I am glad you joined this group and I thank God for the support you have from your husband and church. I saw that you have joined a few other DS depressions support groups and would like to encourage you to continue to communicate with the members there. There are a lot of good, kind, caring and knowledgeable people in those groups. I believe God sent them to you during this time. In this group you will be able to get some spiritual support and emotional support as well.

Before I go on, I would like to tell a little bit about myself. I am a 66 going into 67 year old woman. I was born and grew up in Thailand and left my home country when I was 25 and am married to a Caucasian American man, and we have a 35 year old daughter, our only child who lives with us.

I was overall in good health physically and mentally despite some mild depressive moods I had developed at a young age (about nine years old). I did very well in schools, had a lot of friends and relatives and graduated with a Bachelor degree before being hit by major depressions (mental) illnes at the age of 23.

I was a Buddhist and accepted Jesus when I was 20. The first three years of my faith walk, it was like heaven. When I became sick with the depressions my physical health went down the drain, and I was suicidal from that point on, and it continued almost like forever. A few pschiatrists told me I could get better when I got very old. They were right. I am still depressed when things don't go the way I expect but with the help of the right medications, my depressions have lessened but am dealing with the old age aches and pains instead.

From what you said, I think like most severe depressions cases yours probably has to do with what they call chemical imbalance in the brain. From spiritual (Christian/God) perspective, the reason why we suffer this unpleasant disease is that we are one of the unfortunate human beings who have been affected by poor health as a result of the fallen world (cursed state of humanity). Understanding our illness and know how to deal with it helps. That I am talking in psychological point of view.

In a spiritual point of view, first of all, one of the ways God speaks to us is through His words (the Bible. The more we hear (and read) God's words, the more we connect with Him and feel His love and protection. Because of the nature of this illness, it can take a long time to feel better. Acceptance of our illness is part of the healing process. Thinking positive is important. We can feel more postive by connecting with God through reading (and hearing) His words. He will bring other things and people to comfort us and lessen our pains as well as we seek His healing. If not complete healing, He will bring decrease of the intensity of the pains and peace and strength that we need. Believing that it can and will get better or accepting that it is part of us helps. Don't give up praying to God.

I hope what I have said so far helps some. I will keep you in my prayers. Don't give up.

Thank you for that wonderful Testimony, LavenderC. HayGray02, shame is a most powerful weapon our spiritual enemies use against us. Your Anxiety doesn't make you lesser. It just makes you different from those that don't have to endure any Mental Health issues. I am a Christian with Severe Chronic Depression, Anxiety, and ill effects of a work-related head injury. Sometimes I am not on Daily Strength, because unable. Very thankful, when The Lord uses me, whenever able. Too much shame is put on Mental Illness. A person born without one of their legs, they never sinned against God. They must go through life differently. When The Lord says Run To Me, they can only hop. This can be made to feel like less, but as they hop, The Lord carries them to running, because in their heart, they are trying to run to Him. When we make mistakes, shame tells us to run from God. He wants us to always come to Him, with flaws and all. When we give Him are all, those flaws will be included, but He helps us to better those flaws. As we endure Mental Illness, know that you are still Loved, and not even Anxiety will ever change that. As you stay Faithful in what you endure, that is a Living Testimony to other Believers. Sadly, many with Mental Illness aren't as visibly seen, as one without a leg, but those who know, they can see. To those that don't know, we can give them a chance to understand. Through it all, The Lord carries us on, till finally Home. Before that time, we just do our best to serve Him, which can mean that others join us at Home. You and your family are in my prayers, and remember, that you have nothing to be ashamed of, as you are Loved beyond measure, just how you are, as growing even closer to The Lord, Who Loves you beyond measure. Thank you. God Bless.

Welcome to the group HayGray. I'll be praying for you as well.

HayGray you have come to the right place. Many in this group have suffered depression, including me. I got worse when I got Rheumatoid Arthritis, as the pain and deformities were killing me.

God had brought me through so much. Reading the Bible, esp. the Psalms. I read 5 Psalms a day for 2 years. HCSB or Holman's uses "depression" for "cast down," which meant so much more. I learned that people in the Bible also suffered depression, including King David. And God used him mightily for the kingdom of God.

Lavender is right about taking meds. So many people, esp. Christians think they have to tough out anxiety and depression alone, as RJW says, because of shame. But God understands. My husband was deeply depressed for 20 years. He had some bad things happen growing up. Like being caught in an avalanche with his father will heli skiing in the back country. It was spring, and the guide was testing the snow, because spring is a bad time for avalanches. My husband's dad took off down the slope before the guide was finished, my husband was 15, and took off after him. When they were out of sight, the mountain of snow came down on them. My husband hit a tree and held on for dear life. His father wasn't so lucky, and got pulled under and died. My husband had survivor guilt, and never had counselling in those days.

So, our marriage got very rocky. I finally kicked him out. We were apart for 10 months. We went to a certified marriage counsel & she wouldn't see him unless he saw a psychiatrist. He was diagnosed with severe depression. And put on a high dose of an AD. He said after a few days, he could do his job. I didn't know he was having troubles, and his depression really was hard on our marriage. A few years later, the depression returned, and I told him to see his doctor, and add a second AD. He did, and he's been very stable. Now for many years.

What I learned as I studied, was that the sooner you get on anti-depressants, the sooner you will get off.

I had a friend and her husband left her for another woman. My friend is beautiful, happy and lively. But she realized something wasn't right. She saw her doctor, went in an AD for a year, recovered, and it never came back.

So, 1 year depression needs 1 year medication. 2 years of untreated depression can take up to 5 or more years to recover. After 5 years, you will have to take them the rest of your life. But better to take a pill, than be miserable and feel bad, the rest of your life. My husband is permanent, And knows it.

The reason you need these meds, is because the neurotransmitters get low. Sort of like diabetes, when your insulin gets low. You need to manually replace the insulin. Your brain is not able to replace them, and do you get depressed. (Not sure exactly what the anti-anxiety meds do, but they do help calm down your brain!).

So the longer your brain is without the proper amount of neurotransmitters, the more you need to replace them. And after a certain time, your brain loses the ability to start making its own neurotransmitters, so you need to keep taking meds.

Anyway, remember, life is not perfect, nor does God expect us to
Be perfect. We grow through trials. Everyone gets something, although you may never know the people with smiles are suffering in some way! Here's a passage God gave me that has really helped me during my suffering with Rheumatoid Arthritis:

"More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." Romans 5:3-5

Nice to have met you! Glad you found us!