Christian Support Group Community Group
This is a place for everyone who loves Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior (or those who are seeking Him), to come and discuss important issues in their lives and find support from fellow believers in regards to their faith and life. We uphold the Bible and living a Christ-like life, not as a way to heaven, but as a reflection of our love for God.
When I was just shy of my 17th birthday I was out of control. I was not receiving help with my tbi from the military and my Mom was at a loss. After begging me to get it together she signed paperwork that allowed me to get married at 16 in Texas. I knew it was a mistake. I knew I was making bad decissions; I just couldnt seem to help myself. I cried thru the whole ceremony. It wasn't long after our marraige that he began hitting me. Did I tell my Mom? No way. I became pregnant in the fall of that year. He continued to hit me. Don't get me wrong. If I had just kept my mouth shut it probably wouldnt have happend so much. I tried to leave him. After I had my daughter things got worse. I tried to leave him. But he told me that he would find me. And that he would get visitation and she was his daughter too and he could do what ever he wanted to her then. He told me, " I'll find you. And when I do, I'll take you out where no one will hear you scream. I'll tie you up naked on the ground and put little cuts all over your body. And then I'll pour honey on you. I'll have a cage full hungry rats. I'll let them out one at a time. By the time they are through with you there will be nothing left of you for anyone to identify and no one will ever no what happened to you. And I will still have our child."
My daughter was about six moths old when he started talking about teaching her about sex when she started her period. Literially. Personally. Himself. One night after he had hit me with her in my arms and had forced me. Again. Atleast he let me put her in the crib. I waited until the next morning. He went to work. I packed my things. He came home for lunch. I told him we were having roast beef for dinner and waited and another half hour after he left before I left with our daughter for a batered womens shelter. There I called my parents to come and get us. That was 27 years ago.
He has seen my daughter twice since then. Believe me I didnt push the issue. I remarried in 1993 and my sweet daughter has concidered her step-father her 'Dad' ever since. She knows about my ex of course. Every year he gave her an excuse about why he couldnt come up here and see her. (He had supevised visitation) Every year she received a birthday card from him. Occassionally he would send something from overseas and say he was out of the country on business. What did I care? This year she got her normal birthday card. And then she got one from a penetentory in Texas. He has been in prison since 1992 for rape of a minor.
My problem? I protected my child. And someone else's paid for it. When my daughter came and told me about all that she had found out about him, I had to hide my face. She mistakenly thought it was horror. But is was me grinning from ear to ear that this man finally got what he deserved. But then I started thinking about the poor child he hurt. I am asking you all to please pray for my daughter and for this poor child whoever she is. As for him...
You all may think that it is unChristian of me; but I will ask nothing.
My daughter was about six moths old when he started talking about teaching her about sex when she started her period. Literially. Personally. Himself. One night after he had hit me with her in my arms and had forced me. Again. Atleast he let me put her in the crib. I waited until the next morning. He went to work. I packed my things. He came home for lunch. I told him we were having roast beef for dinner and waited and another half hour after he left before I left with our daughter for a batered womens shelter. There I called my parents to come and get us. That was 27 years ago.
He has seen my daughter twice since then. Believe me I didnt push the issue. I remarried in 1993 and my sweet daughter has concidered her step-father her 'Dad' ever since. She knows about my ex of course. Every year he gave her an excuse about why he couldnt come up here and see her. (He had supevised visitation) Every year she received a birthday card from him. Occassionally he would send something from overseas and say he was out of the country on business. What did I care? This year she got her normal birthday card. And then she got one from a penetentory in Texas. He has been in prison since 1992 for rape of a minor.
My problem? I protected my child. And someone else's paid for it. When my daughter came and told me about all that she had found out about him, I had to hide my face. She mistakenly thought it was horror. But is was me grinning from ear to ear that this man finally got what he deserved. But then I started thinking about the poor child he hurt. I am asking you all to please pray for my daughter and for this poor child whoever she is. As for him...
You all may think that it is unChristian of me; but I will ask nothing.
I had many people I resented about bad treatment, and down through the years, I learned that if we ask God to remove the resentment, and if we pray for that person to have many good things in their lives and for their salvation, then the resentment would start leaving me. There's a saying in the 12 step programs, like AA, which is: "Resentment is the poison I take to kill you."
Think about that for awhile. We feel like after all that person has done to hurt us, we have a right to resent. But we're only hurting ourselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually. We aren't hurting the other person at all. In the Our Father it says "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." If you really mean it when you say that, then you want to really work hard at ridding yourself of all resentment, so that when you go to meet God, He will want to give you all good things. He won't if you don't. His forgiveness is based on how we forgive. Very important to work on this.
Sorry that you had to go through this, but don't let him ruin your future with God by getting stuck in resentment. You are all in my prayers. Thanks for sharing here, and please come back. : ) Judy
Your Sister In Christ
Jenn
He went to see his birth father a few years back and he thanked me for keeping him away from him. I know one day your daughter will thank you. Bless you for your courage and don't feel guilty. You probably did all you were capable at the time.
YSIC
Jenn