I don't know that I have any advice, I just know it is very hard to be involved in a family situation with our EC, that is so counter to God's word. I guess for me, it just goes back to Adam and Eve choosing to sin, and our human nature being a sinful nature. And understanding that adults in this country, if you are over 18, you have all the rights and privileges that all other adults have, including the right to make poor and ill-considered and hurtful to others choices and decisions. One thing that gives me some comfort is my belief that God feels as crushed and saddened by our turning away from Him, as we feel when our EC turn away from us. And Jesus knew betrayal, as a human being, in his darkest hour, before he was crucified, all of his disciples who loved him, abandoned him and betrayed him. I know for me, I sometimes struggle to understand why God allows so much pain to happen in this world, and I long for Jesus to come again, and establish the Kingdom of God. And I think some of us believe that possibly God won't answer our prayers about our EC in this lifetime. So, in a way, for me, understanding that my ES and DIL are choosing to do what they are doing re: me, despite how much it hurts me and distresses me; it gives me some insight into how God must feel when we humans do not follow Him, and we offer up our own rationalizations for what we have chosen, that He wishes we hadn't chosen. I know it is very, very hard, and to be estranged from our children is not what we would ever wish on even our worst enemy, and I still believe it is not what God wants for us, and I believe the prevalence of young adults estranging themselves is perhaps a sign of the End Times, and we do have to make a major leap of faith that God will do something ultimately good with this plague on families. But in some ways, I can relate to God better because I have experienced something I could have never imagined would happen to me. But, I know this is very, very painful and difficult to endure. Hugs and prayers to you.

I really don't have any advice, because sometimes I too wonder why God hasn't stopped this. I pray every single day for my ES's heart to become softened, and to remember his family and how much we all loved each other. He didn't used to be this way at all! He was very loving and sweet before he met his now-wife. I agree with Ejrinpain that these children of ours have free will and we just have to give them over to God, as hard as that seems. In my case, there are "mental illnesses" involved, but I have also come to believe that I think some of those "mental illnesses" are masquerading as demons. Psychiatrists sometimes look for scientific answers, and multiple personalities or dissociative states can be demons. I truly think my DIL has demons, and my son has been brainwashed. But even so, he still has a choice. And the only thing that is ever going to remedy this situation is the Lord. And nothing is too big for God. I may not see it in my lifetime but I do believe God has heard every one of my prayers and He is working in ways I can't see. I know that may not make sense but that is how I get by each day. Just by having faith that somehow, even though I don't understand it, God will somehow fix it whether I get to see it or not. Blessings to you and to all of us!

I can relate to what your saying.I went through decades of turmoil and now have a son who doesn't want me. It is heartbreaking. You can get over this though. As Paul wrote long ago " I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". I think it is human to feel apathetic at times. This life is tough. Keep praying to God for help and to lift this feeling off of you, he will help you. Perhaps volunteering or doing things for others will lift you out of the pit.

I can totally relate and say that my faith has been shaken by what has happened to my family/home over the last 6 months. My son moving out unexpectedly, changes in him that I do not like since that time, the loss of my dog unexpectedly. Yes, it has been shaken greatly. I believe, however, that God wants to know our frustrations and doesn't get shaken when we tell him so. I have told him I am angry at him, that I don't understand what he has allowed to happen, that my faith is shaken. I have yelled at him. It doesn't really change anything but sometimes it feels good to say those things. He knows them anyway because he knows our hearts so at least this way everything is "out in the open". At that point we have shared our frustrations with him in a very open manner. I haven't been struck by lightening yet. When I have felt that way it has been very difficult to pray. I have always enjoyed singing and I find it very difficult to sing now. Singing is such an emotional thing that I just can't let those emotions come through right now. Share your frustrations with him Barby. You are at least still talking to him and perhaps it will be the beginning of healing and the ability to talk to him about other things as well.

Barby, I understand your discouragement. I'm sure there is not one of us that can not say estrangement sure gets discouraging especially when we do not see progress or moves towards reconciliation. It is true that only God can fix others. The Lamb of God can do ALL things in His way and in His timing. This is why I choose to have hope in God and in prayer. While having hope and praying we still with God's help must live. We do not understand His plan and why there is suffering and pain but the longer I live I realize that everyone deals with something. Has everyone noticed that same thing? It may be marital, financial, physical, or a tragic loss. Our EC is a loss without closure.

The way this world is surely makes us realize that we have not arrived in Heaven, yet. I guess if life were perfect that we would not long to be with the Lord. Life is a mixed bag. There are blessings and heartaches. Maybe, our testimony is that of Phil. 4:13- " I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." This may include us praising God through the storm of estrangement. Easier said than done but possible because He lives. God bless us everyone! Hugs and Prayers to all.

Thank you all for taking the time to respond with encouraging words. When I read them I feel a comforting connection. You're such an important part of my life because you know my situation, and people who personally know me don't. It's a secret. A heavy secret. You make me feel understood and accepted, even when I let it get me down. That's what real friends do. So thank you.

I personally am so comforted and awed by these responses. I see in each one that we are all in our own place of growth in our relationship with Jesus, yet we all have this in common: God is using our suffering of the loss of our children as a means to draw us in to a very intimate relationship with Him. For all of us, I believe that this is ultimately what it is all about. Learning to love Jesus above our children. That is why we have sought out a Christian support group. God's Holly Spirit, living within us is working through our circumstances, by the power of His Word which we look to and rely on, to understand more clearly the deep love that He has for each of us, His once estranged children. His love is so so deep that He allowed His faithful Son to go to the cross to take the punishment for our sins. This suffering is as much about our being drawn closer to Him, as it is about our estranged children being brought back to God and to us.

He is listening to our prayers. God in the book of James tells us that God hears the prayers of a righteous person, and we who trust in Jesus for our salvation are made righteous by His blood shed on the cross. God is, I believe with no doubt, intervening in the lives of each and everyone of our children. But remember, Satan is prowling around like a lion, seeking to devour us. This is a spiritual battle. (what better way than to use our children against).

We must remain in the word and not give up faith in Jesus. We must keep our focus eyes on Jesus. And we must Keep on praying for your children! First pray for their restored relationship with God, then for their restored relationship with us.

Our God IS intervening at this very moment. Some of us may see the answers to our prayers for our children this side of heaven, and some of us will not see it until we are in eternity. No matter how long it takes we must Stand firm and strong in the faith of Christ!

My husband and I, as part of our devotion this evening, read from Dr. Martin Luther's large catechism. This quote from his teachings on the Lord's Prayer encouraged me: "For whenever a godly Christian prays, “Dear Father, let Your will be done” [see Matthew 6:10], God speaks from on high and says, “Yes, dear child, it shall be so, in spite of the devil and all the world.” ~0