CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group

Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...

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sadmad11 07/19/2012

MATTHEW Chapter 10 VERSES:32-40

32-Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven.
33-But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven.
34-Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.
35-For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law-
36-a man's enemies will be the members of his own household.
37-Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me;
38-and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.
39-whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.
40-He who receives you receives me, and he who receives me receives the one who sent me.

LUKE Chapter 12 VERSES 49-53

49-I have come to bring fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled!
50-But I have a baptism to undergo, and how distressed I am until it is completed!
51-Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division.
52-From now on there will be five in one family divided against each other, three against two and two against three.
53-They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.

These were quoted from the New International Version of the Bible.
These are direct quotes and.they are Jesus' Words expressing to us to be watchful of these things and that they would happen as we interpret the times before His return.
If you have a different translation, get it out and read it for yourselves.
Should we be surprised that these things are happening to us??? Jesus said they would happen!!
In Jesus love, Maddie

lindajoan 07/19/2012

I agree, Sadmad11 We should not be surprised by any sin in this world, today. The enemy is working over time to steal and to destroy. We need to be closer than ever to the Lord and His ways. He is our defense! God bless

GuelsMom 07/20/2012

Good points maddie! It is my observation lately far too many Christians are trying not to offend by trying to keep one foot in both camps. One in the Christianity of the Bible and any other of the many religions that use the name of "God" but not the Creator God of the Bible. The best example I see is that of using the term of a "Higher Power" - the Higher Power of Alcoholics Anonymous. One individual, not a member of this group, said that she considers her Higher Power to be God, but not the God of the Bible. That Higher Power is her religion.

As the verses you quote very clearly state, we have to make a choice. There is only one true God and that is the God of Creation. There is only one Christ and that is the Christ of the cross. To try to "blend" any other manmade religious belief system is folly. Yoga is another popular belief system that is folly.

Jesus does warn us that these false belief systems can, and often do, come from within our own families. That makes it tougher for sure, but when looking at the bigger picture and just what that end goal is that we give so much up for, we can have confidence in the fact that our reward is greater than the pain of any loss from a temporary relationship here on earth.

sadmad11 07/20/2012

Following Jesus Christ is a life commitment to put Him FIRST, and that may mean that others, even those of our own household will turn against us, simply because we bear His (Christ's) name. Being a Christian in some families, like the one I come from originally (totally non-Christian), does make it more difficult, and if our adult children choose to turn against Christ, it means they turn against us, as their loving Christian parent. It can be a very difficult burden to carry, but Jesus knows this cross of rejection and He will be with us and help us to carry it. We can be thankful that we still live in a spiritually safe country that acknowledges our Christian faith, because there are countries in the world, where you can be tortured or worse, put to death for your Christian faith. This makes our estrangement with our adult children look quite like a lesser burden to carry.
God be with us all, and may He grant us all the emotional strength to continue living positive and fruitful lives for Him in spite of being treated poorly by our rejecting children.
These Bible references in Matthew and Luke, remind me that Jesus wants to be #One priority in my life, and of course He loves me with abandon, and will help me when life's burdens become difficult. I love the "footprints in the sand" analogy..He carries me, when it's too difficult to walk through the emotional desert of rejection. I am never alone...

sadmad11 07/28/2012

I am posting here again and finding comfort in the words I wrote..Jesus comforts us so much and knows what I am presently going through. I had no idea the pain would be so great one week later, as my reply #3 was posted last week. Now I am asking God to help me forgive not only my ES, but my mother and two sisters right now after having survived a huge spiritual and emotional attack visiting my elderly mother.
God knows everything. Nothing escapes His loving Eyes..watching over me all of the time. I love the Lord so much for being such a comforter to my heart and soul right now.
Just wanted to bump this up..it has helped me cope. Hope Jesus' Words comfort any others of you in similar situations..He wants us all to know that He knew about our pain, before we were even born. Jesus is our Comfort, our Defender, the Lover of our souls. Amen!

sadmad11 07/28/2012

sadmad11 09/04/2012

Bringing back this discussion , for those not familiar with the Bible verses that speak about estrangement.
Jesus is not the author of estrangement..but He is the solution. He wants to be more important in our life than even our children. We need to put Jesus FIRST, and then He will honor our prayers to mend our broken relationships. Prayers for everyone today....Maddie

MariaStevie 09/09/2012

Amen to putting God first and to He is the author or reconcilation. Great post - thank you.

GuelsMom 09/10/2012

Maddie, as both you and Marie have said so well, Jesus and His commandments MUST always be put first and foremost in our lives as best we can even with our estranged kids.

I think it is important to keep in mind that these verses are in the context that when a person makes a decision to follow Christ and another family member becomes hostile to that decision and walks away from the presence of the believer, either from the spouse, the sibling, or the parent because of it, the Christian is to accept this with grace. However, I don't see scripture saying that a Christian should be the initiator or cause of the estrangement. (I know you are not saying that.) We are called to be at peace with all as best as we can be - even with our estranged kids.

"Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord." (NLT)

sadmad11 02/21/2013

I needed to read these verses again..even though this was first posted months ago. Hope it helps others here now who may be reading this for the first time. Jesus knew we would be experiencing these estrangements...He knew it would happen! These verses seem controversial..but they bring me great comfort.

deleted_user 02/22/2013

You are right sadmad11, according to what Jesus is saying we must put God first, obey HIM and if others in our family reject us, hate us for it..............well so be it.............even though it hurts.

David cried for a wayward son that tried to murder him, remember? Just because we give birth to them does not mean they will love us in the end I have learned.

Even though reconciled to my son now I feel he loves his father more than me and I still hurt. I pray that my son will remember the Jesus Christ that appeared to him and told him, "I love you and I like you." He was only 4 when this happened to him. I pray that my son will remember this visitation and turn BACK to Jesus in his heart, mind, body and soul. Yes we are reconciled but his heart is still far from God.

deleted_user 03/01/2013

I must have missed this. Sorry maddie! :-)

These verses are particulary important because when Jesus was on earth, scripture tells us that his own human half-siblings did not believe his words. Therefore, we are not asked to go through anything He has not already been through himself.

Paws4It 03/05/2013

Wow! I posted that scripture on the other forum and didnt get one reply.. This is Biblical. That doesnt mean this hurts less, but those of use that believe can see the sins of the world growing worse and worse and this estrangement which is so crazy, is just another hint as to how far from God we are living. My son once told me (when he still talked to me) that his girlfriends mom was 'good' to him! She lets them sleep together at her house and I wouldnt let them here....so yes, I guess according to the ways of the world that is good. But my son was raised better. Lust of the flesh is what took him from me and my house! Lord have mercy!

deleted_user 03/07/2013

Wonderful post and replies.

And I totally agree. In some ways, our love for our children can verge on worshipping a false idol. We put them above everything... when in truth... the one person we should be concerned with the most is the one who will meet us on that distant shore.

sadmad11 07/20/2013

Keep going back to this passage of scripture. Jesus said these things would happen in the last days...we MUST be living in those last days....it's happening more frequently today than ever before in history.
I needed to read this again...so I am bumping this up for those newer to our forum who could use a reminder of what Jesus told us...
Maddie

Paws4It 07/21/2013

This is exactly what is happening today. And it seem like we are the ones that drew the short straw to have to taste this mess.

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